I'm Sorry
ONE || I’M SORRY
“So you’re breaking up with me?” Josh looked at the girl that sat next to him on the park bench, a river of molten gold flowed from head, covering her face as she avoided eye contact with him. He reached out and pushed the golden strands behind her ear. “Just like that?“.
She nodded, there was a pause before she finally spoke again.
“It’s just that...” she stopped again, not knowing what to say. I only have excuses for myself. “I don’t know Josh, I’m just not feeling like me in this reletionship.”
“Arabella, we-”
“I’m sorry, I’m gonna go.... sorry.” She stood up, putting her purse on her shoulder as she took one step away. He’d stood up to chase after her, he took one step towards her.
“Wait Ar-” he stopped. She’d already turned her back away from him and rushed away from him, leaving Josh alone in a park to sit back down and think himself confused.
♕♕♕
Arabella felt like a phony as she sat with Benji in his car, they’d just had dinner and a movie and were currently parked in a spot at the far end of the dark parking lot. He sat at the drivers seat fussing with radio trying to find a good song to listen to, while she sat in the passengers seat pulling at her fingers. Benji was two years older and a senior, he’s soon be leaving for college and she’d told herself it was too much work.
She knew she was once again making excuses for herself, she was just bored with him, but the kid had told her he loved her about a month in. Six months into dating, and while she looked back at it she should have seen that as a red flag for herself.
“so you gonna visit me at my dorm sometime?” he smiled as he had finally decided on a song. ‘I was born to love you’ by Queen filled the silence of the car. She glared at the radio for making this much harder than she needed it to be. Sure, she was bored of their relationship but he was a god person. Weird, but good.
“Listen Benji-”
“I know it’s an eight hour drive away but I mean you can always dorm with Tala for the night”
“Benji... I- I don’t...” She stopped, not knowing how to word it, the first time she’d done this she’d ran away. Considering she was a 20 minute drive from her house and it was night time, she’d had her best friends on standby in case he’d kick her out the car and make her find a ride home. Arabella inhaled through her nose, and exhaled through her mouth. “okay.”
“Benji, I don’t think we should date anymore. Listen I love you, but not in that way. I’m sorry I know I told you I did but we rushed into everything and I just... you’re leaving and you’re gonna wanna party and be with girls who don’t stop you when you grab their thighs during a heavy makeout session... I’m really sorry.” The car was silent for a second, the only sound were the words ‘I was born to love you’ playing over and over again.
“I see.” he looked at her. “so you wanna break up, because you want me to have sex?”
She blushed while furiously shaking her head, her golden hair flying out to cover her blush.
“Not what I meant. I- okay. I’m not gonna bullshit you Benji, I don’t wanna be in a relationship anymore. I don’t want to be sixteen witha boyfirend eight hours away, that sounds harsh and selfish but I don’t love you that way either. I think that it’s best for us that I be a little seelshish here.” He nodded his head, lips suckered in a tight fine line. He put the car in reverse, backed out of the parking space, and drove off. Twenty minutes later, she was still in the passegers seat of Benjis car, but this time they were in her dirveway.
Arabella nodded her head, “I’m sorry.” she whispered, opened the door and walked to her garage, punching in the code to get in. That had been the last time they ever saw each other, he never spoke another word to her.
♕♕♕
Catalina brushed her best friends hair, removing the knots from Arabella’s bed head she flipped through the channels trying to find something good to watch while they got dressed and such.
“I hate you. The color of your hair is literally gorgeous and its freaking natural.” Lina said as she got to work parting Bella’s hair to braid.
“Says the girl who’s hair belongs in a hair care commercial.”
“Hoe, I would do anything for my hair to look like literal molten gold.” Bella rolled her green eyes, he best friend was beautiful. “Besides, I’m basically albino.”
“Lina, albino would only be if your skin wasn’t olive toned and tan dumbass.” Bella reached back and flicked Lina’s shin.
Catalina hissed, tugging on the pigtail strands as a form of revenge. “Ouch! bitch.”
As the girls sat in Bella’s room, Bella was trying to eat her cereal while focusing on Tom and Jerry playing on the Tv. She had her bowl placed under her shin as milk dribbled down. As Lina finished the double dutch pigtails by covering the small elastics with a wrap around of hair, she looked at her best friend. “You’re literally disgusting.” She laughed.
“Bella!” Thomas, Arabellas older brother called through the house. “Rodrigo is here!” Bellas choked on the cereal she had just spooned into her mouth.
“The fuck.” Catalina said as she patted her friend on the back. “He knows it’s a girls night. He knows, no non related boys on girls night. It’s the rule, he stupid or something?”
“Thanks” bellas mumbled as she pulled a pig tail to the front and finger combed the strands that hung past her shoulders as she walked through the house, bare feet barely making a sound on the wooden passageway. At the landing of the stairs she turned to see Rodrigo sitting on the white leather couch in the front room as he waited for her. She crossed her arms in front of her to hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra under her pine apple printed Pj’s and then proceeded to walk the rest of the way down.
“Hey Bella” He stood up to hug her.
“What are you doing here, it’s girls day. Lina told you the rules every time we’ve had it, all ten times.” she said as she pulled away, Bella turned to see Lina leaning against the wall on the stairs. Catalina waved cause Arabella to roll her dark green eyes at her friend.
“I know I just... I needed to talk to you.” She turned back to look at her new friend, he’d moved to town about four months ago and quickly becane a part of their friend group. he’d been excluded from girls night though, no boys allows in Bella’s room. “Listen, Bella.” he used her family’s nickname for her. He took a deep breath in, “I really really like you.” he breathed out.
“Rodrigo...”
“Rodrigo you idiot! I told you not to say anything.” Lina yelled out as she face palmed.
“You knew?” Bella asked Lina.
“Of course I knew, he asked me how he should ask you out. I told to ABORT MISSION.” she rolled her eyes and crossed her own arms before turning around and walking back to her hiding spot.
“I just couldn’t hold that in anymore. I wanna be more than friends with you.”
“I- I.” Bella stuttered, remembering Josh and Benji, how she ran away. How she lost a friend. “Rodrigo I can’t...” She teared up. I’m such a weak bitch. Bella thought. “I don’t like you like that.”
“Oh.” He said. “Well, that’s okay. I’ll just get going then.”
“I’m sorry.” She mumbled out, pulling at her fingers.
