my past
imagining is...
hard.
it may be easy for some of you, but not me.
hi, my name is jenna.
after my mom and dad's breakup, i've recently been very depressed.
i just want someone to come and save me.
after my breakup with my boyfriend, no one was there to support me.
and tell me that they love me.
my sister, jessica, doesn't care about me. she's already having a baby in a few months and my brother died in a car accident. more like purpose. the drunk driver hit my brothers car and my brother was unconscious. it was a scary night. because he was the only one to take care of me. i'm so ugly and dirty now. but i need to imagine something so i can get out of the ditch.
my brothers name is, well since he passed, my brothers name was, josiah. he was the sweetest brother and the best brother i could ever ask for. he was the sweetest. he cared so much about me. he was like my best friend. and sometimes, like a 2nd dad.
he really helped me with my education and everything until that night. the last time i saw him was in the hospital saying his last words still unconscious, "jen, you'll do great with life. don't worry about me. i'll see you up there in heaven. don't worry about your sister either. i love you." and then he passed.
it hurt me so badly that i couldn't breathe at all. i was about to faint. i couldn't breathe. someone that i truly loved is going and i have to face the real world and reality by myself. with no one to be here with me.
my brother, josiah, was one of the best brothers ever. jessica, was the worst sister. i don't even know what she's doing with her life now. she's been "busy" and we never talked.
josiah had a wife, which he divorced with due to relationship problems. his wife didn't allow him to go to church. and was forced to stay home. josiah was such a kind person.
josiah comes into my dreams sometimes. and it hurts so bad that i wish it was true. sometimes. he was there when i fell off my bike. he caught me when i was about to fall of the cliff. he did so many things to me, in my dream, that i wanted him back in the real world again. i need him.
he is all i need. and he is everything to me. i miss josiah so much. i want to meet him already. its been 9 years since i lost him. and its so hard. the past 9 years were horror. i just want my life to be to normal.
i just want someone in my life who will care about me and love me for who i am. just how josiah did to me. i miss you, josiah, and i love you, josiah.
saying your name, makes me water up all the time. i just really really miss you. and i love you every second and miss you every second and you don't even know it.
i love you, and i wish you could come back.
