Marriage

"We will be so mean to you that you will never recover."

"You have woken me up from a deep sleep." she added in some hate and I felt like I was not her favourite person. But she had phoned me yesterday and we had continued to keep in touch and there was something puzzling me and I did not know why I had rang her.

"Why what is wrong with you?" I do not know I guess the phone being free made me think less about the cost then care what I did with it. The woman inside me had not come out right and I disliked her being the cause. The one good reason that is what it was revenge to phone her to pester her was the only solace to a bad start to the day. After she had finished with me I felt like a smutty kid who bite

"Auntie from Australia." said to me. "Auntie from Australia very tall good looking and with two children one boy and one girl. Auntie had a crash on a man called Erturk too when she was a girl and he sent her packing to Aussie land with thirty thousand pounds she sent her husband packing because he was boring sent the packages on top of him and he now in a wheelchair."

"Not true?"

"Mostly truthful this is what life does to one it is so confused with the little after shocks of being unshakeable in my resolve to tell the whole truth about my family."

"But did she get caught?"

"Her manager was the only one with the husband and she had been so careful so the manager went to jail and she was the confused wife who had sent the wrong signals."

"When does the manager get out of prison?"

"I think soon."

"Well isn't she afraid?"

"She is a very good shot."

"Well what often happens to these people when they do such a crime?"

"They never get caught they got more sense."

"But auntie is remarkable as a character she is educated and unique in our family of famed monsters."

"So this married wife of Asim meant not to go ahead with the mating with the manager?"

"She had a girl friend a witness who testified that she not into that sort of thing. She a good virtuous wife who loved and really loved her husband. She the apple of that woman's eye and yes they were lesbian lovers."

"What no such thing?"

"Well it was there is not enough of me inside her not to know this but the thing was the girl friend backed her up before when she made sure her brother committed suicide."

"Yes everyone should calm down now. The case is being tried the case was dismissed it was a suicide."

"But judge the course of true love was the youthful inexperienced brother went to get married he got engaged to aunt's lover then they had the wedding ceremony and when the party was over the bedroom farce was about to begin the two women started to laugh at the young man the brother my uncle the apple of my eye."

"How many murders did your auntie do?"

"Well I guess she only did two."

"Being reasonable and such one must not exaggerate and do it sparingly."

"Well what happens when there is nothing else to do in a ranch in Australia but mate with the animals?" That is what auntie said and I agree with her that life was boring her husband was a much older man he was older by fifteen years and she a demanding woman after she had been involved with my dad. She had been sat down before so she could go compare. Well her husband was photogenic and not having married him by proxy she disliked him the minute she set eyes on him. She loved his photograph and not him?"

"Look does he look the same?" She said repeatedly as if she had the wrong groceries inside her house. She said she got it wrong but I who must have known got it worse wrong.

"She came to England to bring him to me as I said the marriage was ok."

"I was just a kid at the time back in the 1960's it wasn't my fault."

"And she had the most beastly time with a man she did not know and what nagged us forever was she so bored she phoned and phoned telling us this."

"Well after the murders she got over her boredom."

"Like blood being let out?"

"Yes that is exactly what Gold said,"

"Are you all mad?"

"Officer we are not we just can't bear things to go wrong."

In life most of the population are mean towards each other when they are not then they are poor. The poor are never mean they tell all their secrets when a man or woman is rich they do not disclose facts about themselves they are the pivotal of the system the blood suckers who do away with the mean and the needy.

"Not always the poor. Surely?"

"Look I can sell my life story and get paid for it. I will leave it for when I am destitute then I will."

"You always writing and telling your story to anyone who has half a ear."

"In the mental institution where you belong the thoughts come and they steal all the stories which I gleam."

"Vulnerable people do not have rights."

Excuse me I have dropped you all into this in the middle of something. It is in the two rooms which we are sat in and there is the door closed and it is claustrophobic because it is so hot. The room is dirty and there is not enough space to go round so we are as the children sat on the bed while the adults are sat near the dining table. The window is large and the outside cars are coming and going but we are so engrossed we do not hear then the train rattles every fifteen minutes but we got used to this as well. We are young and innocent and we want to know the lark which is life and writing and somehow this is how adults behave in the evenings and this is the first time we are allowed to sit up with them. Not work but sit up and be counted as listeners and indeed as contributors to the discussion and we are all thrilled to bits.

Hush it is trying to be so mean and anti-social I am unaware where protocol begins and to beget a brain, I need someone to tell me this. That we who resist the system must come down and there is nothing the matter with this. I am the fond writer who feels the show must go on and then it stoops to become this monster of truth. I did not mean to harm the system the system did mean to harm me. Being the daughter of a psychopath has its upside and I am used to being this fiend wherever whatever the thing was as a child I was in the wrong and as an adult it is the same.

“Who are you?”

“It does not matter I am meaningless.”

“Why do you say that?” asked my mum in a brothel in a bother.

“I am so sorry it does not matter.”

Mother takes the fag out of her mouth then she swallows something like wine and that makes her able to see me. Okay she says you will have to earn money soon and it does me proud you take after me.

I am not proud of that I cower inside myself.

“Don’t frown child it might age you.”

She glided past me as if a fairy tale had opened up before her and she ate up herself saying deliciously one must love oneself.

I did not want her near me I did not want any part of her. I start to scream and scream.

“What did I say?” She asked.

“Not the right words.”

"“I will send you to your dad’s.” and she did. Auntie took over the contents of me speaking ill of the dead is nothing. Auntie I fear is dead and the other auntie is a replacement auntie mum.

“What did it matter they are all strange one stranger looks like another.”

“Why does it not matter me?”

“The child is now asleep and now take over I have clients and do not want her do the best with her she is not mine she is the devil’s child belongs entirely to you.” she said to daddy who took me in his arms and wept. What could he do with me he had no idea he did not want me nothing did I do was right he did not hate me he just did not want me he had a wife a family what did he want with me?

"She is troubled in her sleep look how innocent she looks." said sad father, "Pity soon there will be trash."