What is your opinion?
Enticing
"The first chapter of a work in progress shows promise as the main character is disenfranchised and vulnerable. The chapter ends with hints of otherworldly elements to come in future chapters. The plot is, needless to say, not developed one chapter in."
Nice, but improvising is a good idea
"You made some minor spelling mistakes like "ei-ther" and "fur-ther". They don't need a hyphen. Otherwise you are good considering your grammar, punctuation and spelling - way better than what you see in Wattpad books. I know that you described your characer's face, but don't make it a habit as you should not write what's not relevant. I think the way you gave us thr hook, your teaser, was more mystery type and that's a compliment as it's quite difficult to accomplish. But I would like it if you start with some action, some hint of some plot. What her motivation is. It's good that you gave us your character's feelings but make us feel it. For eg, don't tell us your character feels invisible. Show it- like the scene where she trips or something and no one helps her up because no one noticed. The classic writer adage - show, don't tell. Also, start with some action, don't "warm us up" for the plot give us the plot. And start with an interesting sentence like how Harry Potter started.( Mr and Mrs Dursley were proud how normal they were and stuff) But your writing's good, so go with it."
