johannak

Hard to put down.

Let me start by saying that there are a ridiculous (lol) number of chapters which most will find daunting, UNTIL you take them a few at a time like a combined series of books. If you love Game of Thrones or the Lord of the Rings be prepared to get hooked in the variety & depth of characters & sub-plots.
You'll thoroughly enjoy this!

A Gripping Page Turner

You won't be able to put this book down.
A thrilling combination of desperation, determination, danger, acceptance, and hope permeates each page, driving the reader to keep reading long after other books are retired for the evening.
Easily McLaughlin's best to date.

*Note - The explicit sexual content may make you bristle, so skip those sections & keep reading anyway :)

Great first chapter

Steady character development - sympathetic conflict and strength development - shown in this one chapter. Not much chance for plot realization, but there's strong potential. Currently reads like a well development Young Adult novella.
Overall, a strong first chapter, that may benefit from some minor edits for clarity.

Interesting read

It's refreshing to see a western novel and, with some minor tweaks in sentence structure, etc, this little ditty is sure to please.

A great start!

I wish to encourage this author to continue this endeavor as it shows potential, especially considering the fact that this is a first attempt at writing and a rough draft.

A story that lingers

Aside from the fact that this novel is written in such an engaging and realistic way, the main character, Cooper, is heart-wrenchingly sympathetic and endearing. You find yourself rooting for him with every page, as aside from a debilitating photographic memory and traumatizing event, he's the everyday man in a palpable way. Every character on every page is painted with emotionally vibrant and all too human brushstrokes.
The expected twist in the end is refreshingly unexpected as, again, Cooper faces the tragedy that has run parallel to to his life and haunted his every step, in a deeply emotional way.
Bravo.
By the way, you got ME to read a book that's deeply entrenched in baseball, so it must be well written.
Addendum: Upon reflection, enough cannot be said about Greg McLaughlin's descriptive characterization of Cooper's photographic memory affliction. Anyone who has suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or elevated levels of anxiety can easily relate to his battle to maintain a level of normalcy in his life.
Yes, the novel lingers on the mind like fine wine on a discerning pallet.

Unusual

The biggest problem I had was in language/interpretation, but the story is told in a creative, dare I say, florid way that I found very interesting. With some adjustments in grammar for an English audience it can easily find it's niche.

Entertaining

As a work in progress, this was a funny and overall entertaining few chapters. Highly imaginative and descriptive. Those who enjoyed "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", will get a kick out of this novel.

Outstanding First

This first chapter of a first novel is enticing, invigorating and inspiring. The narrative is highly visual as is the theme and character development. I anticipate a thoroughly enjoyable adventure when this novel is complete.
Note: The only reason 4 stars is given for the plot is that, given it is only one chapter, that hasn't been fully developed yet :)

Captivating Start!

This first chapter (I hope more are soon to follow) smacks of an world ghost story! There are many exciting plot elements here and enough energy to keep the reader interested even one chapter in.
Well done!

Thoroughly engrossing Fairy Tale

This is a little gem, reminiscent of H.C Andersen, with several familiar characters sure to please the heart of any children's story fan.
Some minor tweaks in grammar and spelling will help.

Great start!

Since it's still in progress, I want to encourage this writer. The story is developing very nicely. There are a few rough spots in wording and places where less glibness in remarks may be better. But that might change as the story progresses.
I look forward to more chapters in the near future.

Enticing

The first chapter of a work in progress shows promise as the main character is disenfranchised and vulnerable. The chapter ends with hints of otherworldly elements to come in future chapters.
The plot is, needless to say, not developed one chapter in.

Intriguing

Three chapters in and I'm excited about this finely crafted start! The interactions between the siblings are fluid and natural; yet each has their distictive personalities evident in the text. The plot is intriguing and overall it smacks of a young Sherlock Holmes.

Surprisingly good.

The descriptions & imagery is palpable and well done. Some slight editing is needed in spots. The flow of the story and character development is very good, as is the mixture of violence and mysticism. It will be very interesting to see where the story goes from Chapter 9.
Recommended.

A work in progress

The author's style is concise, meticulous yet 'full bodied' in that so much is conveyed in the story's abbreviated style. It successfully leaves the reader wanting more. I eagerly anticipate the remaining chapters.

Interesting Storyline

This is a quick read with a highly interesting storyline.