Majestic

"At the very beginning, I really appreciate your hardwork and time you have used for your story. And let me tell you with heartfelt thanks - this is the most intriguing horror / drama I have read in a while. Now, let's mark out a few drawbacks. 1) Firstly, it is vital to make out the use of tense in a story. Clarify whether your tale will be in past or in present. I suggest you to use present as it forms a majority in your novel. 2) There are many grammatical mistakes and few errors which have crept in possibly due to the lack of editing. I advise you to try editing some parts (Chapter 2 : The part Dex meets Mary, Prologue : You are becoming too direct, try to hide some key points. Try adding some more detail in Mary's rape. Like...you can keep some suspense in the previous chapters). 3) Lastly, don't try to be too direct and lessen the use of metaphors if you want to build a 'strong readership' over the INTERNET. There are some books which are most suitable as e-books or read online while some are better as published ones. I believe your book suits the latter. As for the errors, a good editor is required. Some parts I really liked about your story : 1) The way you have kept me hooked. Seriously, from beginning to ending - it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I find your style a little relevant to T.S Arthur at some points. 2) The ending is fantastic. A good book always needs a fabulous ending. 3) The way you have scripted the journey of rats as a major plot point. Lastly, every scene of your story serves a purpose. The chaos arisen during the plague can be felt as real. This is a story capable of bringing tears. I suggest you to reread your work and embellish it further. If you have any questions or need any help, feel free to ask me on my wall. With love, Miss_Books"