Chapter 1
Intro
Beep beep
That's my alarm going off again for the second time, I have to carry myself off the bed and look forward for the day. I can say my vision is always blurry when it comes to that, but I am tired of complaining about life, so I won't but let me tell you how I got here before you get carried away.
I am a graduate with accounting science degree from university of Limpopo, I completed my degree three years ago and never got an internship after years of applying I gave up. I am very good at giving up I can tell you that for sure.
My mother and two sisters are the only people I have in my life since I decided to cut off everyone else. I was sick and tired of being judged, being called a failure and feeling like I was a disappointment, still am but at least they are no longer in my life. I accepted reality of being added to the statistics of unemployed graduates in South Africa so I do whatever I can to get food.
I had a man in my life who accepted me without a job and helped my family in every way.
"You are late again"
The voice woke me up from my good life in my imagination. She is my boss and she is always irritated with me.
"I am sorry, there was traffic..." I try to speak but she cuts me
"it's okay Nondi, go and look for another job" huh
I mean I know there's no excuse for my actions but I can't be fired, not now.
"please I really need this job..." she cuts me again
"You are fired, please leave my building"
I can't believe I just got fired, I am so furious but I can't do anything about it.
That smash hit me so I almost fell on the floor but worse I have hot coffee spilled on my shirt and I want to scream.
"Watch where you are going Mrs that way you won't die in an accident" him
Like really now?
"If you were watching your way yourself Mr we wouldn't be here, I am the one soaked up with hot coffee so instead do yourself a favor and walk away before you die in what should have been an abortion" I am fuming
He looks at me briefly and walk away
He just contributed to my bad day but I have to look for a job, I will just stop at a copy shop and print out my CV and take it to different places before going back.
I have been walking around Polokwane CBD for a while now, I am hungry and exhausted. I am praying they call me before the end of this week because I am desperate for a job. I have three stomach to feed excluding mine. I am praying my mother's health is stable at the moment because I can hardly afford her medication. Since I also cannot afford to take a taxi I have to walk home because I can't waste money on that right now, it's a bit far but I have my days walking back convincing myself that I'm saving money.
I just got fired from my job as a cleaner at mall of the north and nine months ago I walked in my room and found my man cold on the floor in a room we rented in Ladana polokwane. I loved him but I killed him.
I wish I did but I am not a killer, no one believes me anymore. All that time when he would lay his hands on me, I would wake up and cry looking at him because I had ideas of killing him but I couldn't, now he is dead. Someone killed him but I am to blame. Why?
Phone ringing
"mma, I will call you in few"
"it's Una mma is very bad Nondi, we need to take her to the hospital" Una
"With what money because I just lost my job, I can't do anything right now" I answer
"If you keep making excuses then she'll die, you will be happy then I guess" Una
She is only 16 and now she is talking to me about excuses?
"Leave school and look for a job and then tell me about excuses" nxah
I have no time to deal with this right now, I know I should have tried and keep up the positive spirit but how can I? I am jobless again.
I don't know how I fell asleep but it's already 6am and my alarm just went off. I carry myself out of bed and clean up everything, my fridge is empty and I have two slices left so I will utilize it. I have to meet up with the detective in few hours.
I am early so I will sit outside on the bench,police stations are not a good place to have peace of mind, there's always those constable who hit on every girl that come to certify, those who are somehow always involved in every conversation that happens there and the loudest that deals with opening a case. The whole station will end up knowing what you are saying and trust me it's embarrassing.
"hello" says a lady sitting beside me
She is on her phone, seems annoyed but gives me a brief smile as she hung up. I know I've been staring so I turn and face the gate to who ever is getting in.
"You want to open a case?" her
I turn to her and shake my head, she nods.
I am not in the queue like the others so I'm guessing that's why she asked.
"If you don't mind me asking, why you are here?" her
I am here to turn myself in, I wish I could say that to keep her nosy ass quiet.
"I am supposed to be meeting someone" I say
She nods and looks away
"Do you have a case?"
Does she ever keep quiet?
"I killed my boyfriend" she smiles
I didn't know killing someone is a joke, I am convinced I should have kept quiet.
"I wish I had killed mine too but unfortunately I'm not a killer and so are you" her
I am interested in the story maybe because I will feel better and less alone if he died and she is the suspect just like me.
"Mrs Maake, a pleasure to meet you" the Constable
Don't tell me he is responsible for her case too, because it will just be a sad case.
"I'm guessing she's waiting for you and I'm curious how you were so certain that it's me" her
The Constable blushes, I told you that this guys are flirty. I don't blame him she's pretty with an afro and her adorable smile. They have a brief conversation and the constable now noticed me and signaled me to follow him.
"You are early Mrs Madima" Constable
He says as we enter his office at the back.
"Any leads on the case, you said I'm supposed to be here today" I explain
He looks at me and then at the door, the afro lady have been standing there for a while I'm guessing.
"You need a lawyer because your fingerprints all over the crime scene and most of all..." he stops
"His body? Obviously" I say angrily
The afro lady walks in and stands next me.
"Miss?" her
"Tshinondiwa Madima" I say
She nods
"I'm Molly Maake" she switched from Pedi to Venda in an instant
"No one wants your case so I will be your attorney, but I will tell you what. The next time you talk to the cops make sure I am present" Her
"Please excuse us" her again
She's referring to me, I walk out and stand in the hall way.
I have been standing here for almost half an hour and still no sign of her. What are they are talking about? She walks out smiling at me, I am sure she read my expression as quickly as she walked out.
"Let's walk through this" Molly
She is quiet and I am dying of suspense and I also want to know why she agreed to take my case.
"So his family does not like you, you depended on him and also your family too? How was your relationship? " her
Where do I begin to explain this long story that has a terrible ending?
"We fell in love in Varsity, UL and after graduation we moved in together and I wasn't lucky enough to get a job" I explain
She laughs and look at me like she's inquisitive.
"Our relationship was good but his family thinks I'm a gold digger who killed their son for his money" I explain
Her phone rings and she looks at me before answering it and that was good enough to cut this conversation.
"Ni murema ane acou pomokiwa u vhulaya muthu, asina tshitori tshau pfala. You don't have enough options maybe you don't see that" she says that and answer her phone
I have many voices in my ear telling me what I'm supposed to say or do to a point where I don't know what to do or say.
"You can have my numbers incase you want to tell me something" she hands me a card
This time she has a smile on her face. How unpredictable that she switched from the mean girl to the adorable afro lady.
"Mrs Maake..." I call running after her
I am hesitant to even say this to her, maybe because I know it is inappropriate as fuck.
"I need your help" I say in shame
She nods.
"I need a job, I know you are my lawyer and all that..." she cuts me with her hand
"You can give me your CV if you have it" Molly
I take it out of my bag and give it to her, she takes it.
"You want a lift?" she asks getting in her car
I can't say no because I will be saving money, I walk to the passenger door.
I am depressed enough to even go out and look for a job anymore. I think I have to give up I can feel it.
KNOCK ON THE DOOR
I will explode when I open this door, who be banging on my door like this.
'What the fuck Nondi?" she push me aside as she gets inside
She wants the latest update on the case and I want nothing to do with anyone on my business. I close the door and walk to bed.
"Why are you locking yourself up and ignoring everyone?" Rudzani
She is my childhood friend, her life turned out differently from mine. She is a dentist with her own practice but I wonder why she is still friends with me because we are not on the same level.
"I want peace and I'm not going to get that with everyone in my business, there's no update okay"
"Una called me yesterday..." Rudzi
"About my Mom?"
I am supposed to answer to her now since she has been helping me with my family ever since Thabelo died.
"She wanted money, I did send her but you can't keep everyone out of your life forever. I know you feel like you are alone but I am here for you and so is your family"
I am already in tears, I am tired of being strong. It's hard being strong when you are broke and hungry.
"I am here for you" Rudzani says as she embrace me
"I might go to jail Rudzani" I cry
I hate showing up my weakness especially when you don't know where they stand with you but she has earned my trust entirely.
"I have to go now I will see you tomorrow after work" she's already on her feet
"At least you have a job" I say
She laughs and raise her eyebrows as if I'm supposed to say it's a joke.
"Really, Of all the things you can do you lost your job?" She sounds angry
She has no idea what I have been through this past week so why is even angry at me for being fired for no reason?
“You can be using this until you get a job" Rudzani
She puts money on the bed and walk out. I feel bad for not saying thank you, I am grateful for her help but she doesn't have to treat me like I am a child.
My phone is ringing from where I don't know, it's under the bed of all places. It's Molly...
"Tshinondiwa, are you free tomorrow?" her
I am good thanks for asking.
"Yes I am" I answer
"You have an interview, I will send you the details now. I was expecting your call these past few days so that I can have your numbers" Molly
"The constable gave you?" I ask
"No, I got it from your CV" Molly
"Thank you Mrs Maake" I can't be crying like this
"Molly please" she says and hung up
I am early today and since I had money for the taxi I got to the building earlier than I expected because when they opened I was already there. Desperation will make you do such a thing, I couldn't wait to get here and wait since my last job I was always late. I learned my lesson and thanks to Rudzani I even ate breakfast this morning, all I need at this point is rent money. I don't want to be burdening her for the rest of my life that is why this opportunity means the world to me.
"Miss Madima, he's ready to see you" the receptionist
Her name is Dikeledi, she was nice enough to offer me coffee when we got in together. I get up and follow her to an office almost in the corner. I am overwhelmed by this moment because at this moment it is starting to kick in that it is real and I'm at the door about to open an opportunity I always prayed for.
"Are you okay Ms?" Dikeledi
My nerves got to me to a point where I can't even move, my whole body is stagnant and in a second I am shaking.
"Ms he's waiting for you" she says now patting my shoulder just enough to wake me up
She opens the door and I walk in. The office is spacious and extremely clean not that I expect it to be dirty.
