Chapter 1
Hell women are chasing me round and round nagging needling me and trying to get my pants off. Someone placed a sharp object on the seat and there is chaos wherever there is I. Why place a safety pin on the seat when there was no need I was only wearing one dress and it could have been embarrassing you know. Some men are not blaming them but are helping them. They are wives and girl friends and they would be fried without them. As the women look very honest and innocently at me I wonder if the whole drama could be replayed so that I could have the factual information. How did it happen and when did it begin? While thinking there is another elderly woman coming behind me she gets helped while I about the same age with an extra bag do not even get mentioned I mean her load is flowers and mine I have the whole damn shops in my bag.
"Look you are spending all our money when we can get it for free."
"It is my money."
"Nothing to it when you work for us and then spend our money
Now this is England and they are nice manners here. So while they jelly you they also speak nice words.
I have now come to repent the decision to be helpful and want nothing more to moor my sails and cast away. Loath to feel nothing but that? There has been too many chasing round the maple tree and no treatment is better than no treatment? One does not choose who one falls in love with this woman now cannot feel anything but rage with her blissful companions stating that I am out cast because did not shag them all and have worn long shorts or something. I mean no longer into that sort of thing but one can see the folly of these women some are wives of men. Some are never going to stray from the comfort zone of being the girlie women running together into the sunrise.
What is on the menu?
We must share this out. The offal is the main course but the pudding is rare and sweet.
"No more waiting at tables and totalling near disasters."
"You know you cannot add up."
"That means as a whore I would be no use as well because you see no head for bruising or maths that leaves me out."
"I am your father family I will take care of the business never you mind just open up and we will be fine."
"Fined?"
"No fine."
People bustling in from everywhere and women taking the man in. Trousers shirts and the discourse on methods.
“I believe that to smell someone means that.”
“We smell nicest when poor.” We do not need money when poor it is only the rich who feel the pinch.
No, it does not in Britain one cannot earn money except when one is someone's mate in Britain they have the equivalent in Turkey which is nepotism but in Britain it is what we have it out with.
“Where is the puzzle in this?” asked the psychologists as she is busy not understanding me as her leg is hurting her and I am hurting because of memories. Her scratching is not alarming I think that she might have over done whatever she had been doing. The feeling of hers is one of usefulness and doing the work of two and behaving well towards society. A responsible adult paying her dues and all that.
“What did happen?”
I glare into space that she does not seem to understand what I am saying as if I am speaking a foreign language and she does not see my expression or torment or anything. The whole feeling is one of failure to communicate. My sides shake and arms go limp. There is a rag doll feeling of being inside of me. As if life had gone out of me.
“I am this doll who did not have it all.”
“That we did know a few or two.” Said someone.
“What do we know most is the reality of.”
“But know this is nothing to do with you.”
I laugh uneasy. That love had nothing to do with me I knew.
She too sees that I am in pain she too sees that something had happened to all these people but somehow, she does not believe that. Somehow, she does not think that it happened so dramatically or strange to say she thinks that gossiping amongst families do not happen. That if Cyprus is linked to each other like a pot then most of these families are there and they had their share of unhappiness?
“It is not love?”
“Lust for power over the other woman is it the shared common feelings of humanity?”
“Right we must all smell each other like dogs?”
“There is no other work type we are all in this together”
“What do you think the world is run on gas?”
Nothing doing this other society worked too except when it worked the work itself was worthless because they did not think about the bigger picture the world. They did not wear the right code of dress meaning being naked. They did not have any education not the right science and all that. They did not have robberies and foibles and such ladylike manners or gentry like barbers and they were known as the barbaric Turks. Now they are not known unknown nobody has heard about them. Except as a cheap holiday resort. Yes, they are now one of the cheapest holiday resorts ever and they have the best hotels.
“This is daylight robbery.”
“When the world had began to go strange what did happen to this small country?”
“It went berserk.”
“Could not catch up went the whole way said to the women strip or else.”
“Some of them went to work others did it in Nicosia when they were left bare and barren and had to be damned.”
“When did the society become doomed?”
“When they lost their self-respect.”
“Who took it from them?”
“Without money means without power.”
“I would sell my mother’s arse for half a crown is it a man speaking the truth about that society?”
“He meant bloomers?”
“Same thing.”
But before they became a hotel and a resort, they lived lives like farmers and were unable to handle the sexiness of life. Their wives were never what they should be they had not much in the bank and most of them had become mentally deranged. I think not? Well some ended up doing weird things. How do you mean? Well they did.
When magic rules us where did the rules apply? I dislike doing any work so I am doing magic instead and then everyone can work and I can sit down and do nothing. Do not forget we are all working hard trying to do our jobs and mine is to sit down and think. I am very good at this. I can out do the sitting down all day long. I am nothing if not determined to do not much but enjoy my garden adding to the splendid natural beauty of the surroundings but do not want to do any work so my daughter does so. It is the only gift which she has which makes me happy. Okay I am nothing but the wind the north wind blowing the gale force and asking for the foolish who pay money to get away with it. The thing is when one is the north wind and does nothing but blow cold.
I loath her asking me for money it shows she does not love me. Even the queen has volunteers in her garden nobody pays anybody these days. I used to be known for my being like the queen even look there is a resemblance. But of course, I have only one garden and they have many more than me. I meant no harm to these illustrious family who have so much money than me. I do not have enough and they have more than enough. My daughter must not volunteer to do their garden too. I need her more than they do.
The system of charity is that everyone must make everybody happy.
Look I having this nice garden makes everyone who visits most impressed by the whole showy flowers. I mean why not the thing is it is a place to be in and have a nice time with the leaning florals and all that sort of thing. Mostly she complains about the ivy. Most buy the flower ivy but she says it is a weed and hates it.
"I don't care about the demolition work in the house nor the work done in the garden what I am into is the juice."
There are no care home beds.
Mother gloats as I suffer.
“Do not speak to me at all.”
If I lose my hands that would make me a dependent as well?
“You are young you will never lose your hands?” said mum.
“One is all heart.”
I think they hate me.
“One ton of top soil how many hours does it take for that to be carted indoors?”
“The thing is do the best you can.”
“The rest of your life is the best thing.”
“Seek help the situation is not dire.”
“Difficulties mean ask for help.”
“Well it is better than being with mother.” she smiles.
Mother thinks she is better than me.
“And mother but sorry for butting in they say we have too much money in the kitty.”
“Get away with you there is no more money.” said mother who for decades did nothing but hoard stuff money included.
“I worked for the charities over many decades.” I am poor.
Mother smiles again.
“But the charities only give to the destitute and I fail I fall in somewhere not near enough to the bottom and not near enough at the comfort zone. I am just meeting the demands.”
“Why you demean yourself?”
“Yes.”
“I didn't see it coming.”
“Why?”
“If one is psychic and a society is linked to each other that is where the thoughts the feelings come from.”
“I need a crystal ball to see all that.” said Jane.
“I can’t pin myself down.”
Don't worry we will pin you down.
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