Chapter One- A New Day
Monday October 7th
First thing Lillian Andrews does when she wakes up, is open up her Spotify account. Then, her bedroom fills up quickly with the sound of Aretha Franklin to which she always smiles. It was her late Gran that had got her into old Motown and soul records when she was a child. Now fully fledged into adulthood, the grief of losing her was at times still numb.
“Hey Lils, you up yet?” asked a voice from outside the bedroom door, “Oh wait, I can hear your music.”
Lillian released a loud giggle as she jumped up and grabbed her bag ready for the day, “Whenever you hear my music Mum, you know that I’m always up and ready to go.
Her Mum smiled from outside, “It’s always the same songs. Respect, Chain of Fools...”
“No loud heavy metal music here!” Lillian grinned, “Just the same old tunes that I adore from the past.”
Even though the music playing was old, Lillian knew that she was getting older too. At twenty-two, she had dreamt of owning her own apartment, with two cats and plenty of new kitchen appliances. Instead, she was still based in the childhood home a bus ride away from the city. The overall area was pretty, but at times, quiet and uninspiring.
“You seeing Damien today?” yelled Mum from the bathroom.
Lillian’s happy mood came to an abrupt halt. Last night, she had fallen asleep early and fresh tears of sadness collecting together on her pillow. There were two options: She could either yell back at her or pretend not to have heard the question.
“Um...” she could start to feel her cheeks growing hot, “About that...”
There was no vocal response, other than the howling of the family cat from the kitchen. Lillian could feel her appetite had all but vanished into thin air. She needed the autumn breeze into her lungs, rather than grabbing a slice of toast.
Slowly in her work clothes, she walked downstairs and was met with Bubbles brushing past her legs with a meow. Her heart soared a little as she stroked him back. Cats always seemed to know when their owners were upset or angry.
“Hi Lils,” spoke her Dad from the lounge, “Think your Mum was asking you something.”
“Oh, was she?” Lillian pretended to be concerned, “I didn’t hear her.”
“There you are! I was only asking about Damien!” exclaimed Mum.
Damien who? Lillian was tempted to say back. Damien the liar? Damien the prick? Damien the... not so good baddie baddie?
“What about him?” frowned Lillian, “He’s fine as far as I know.”
It was then that she saw her Mum’s expression quickly change, “I was wanting to know if he was still up for Jolene and Harry’s wedding in December, since we need to book the hotel rooms as soon as possible.”
Shit. The wedding. Lillian had a sense that if she went without a date, most of her family would talk negatively about her. Some of them did anyway, after her past experiences.
“I’ll have to ask him again,” she lied, “He’s been very busy recently with work.”
“Well, don’t keep us waiting too long will you?” frowned Mum.
Lillian shook her head but no words could come out of her mouth. She hated lying but in this case, she was too scared to cause a fuss particularly so early on in the day.
Grabbing her work bag, she raced towards the front door almost tripping over a pair of shoes on the way out.
“See you later!” Both of her parents yelled as Lillian slammed the door shut behind her. Normally, she would have turned back to wave at the end of the drive. Instead, she ignored her parents and raced towards the nearest bus stop.
As she waited, her fingers numbly scrolled through Twitter and Facebook. Pictures of her old school friends hanging out at birthday parties, travelling the world or even worse in her opinion, passing their driving test first time. It had been over six months since she had last been behind the wheel. Six months since she crashed the learner car into the side of a stone wall. Ending all hopes of being independent on the road.
“About to rain it looks like,” an elderly man with a walking pram sat beside her.
Crap, she hadn’t packed a raincoat either, “I hope not, that wasn’t on the main forecast.”
The man started mumbling to himself as a bus pulled up, already filled to the brim of school kids in uniform and work commuters, headphones on blocking out the sound.
Lillian placed her phone ticket under the scanner, with a beep she would be free to get on. Yet her screen had suddenly turned black.
“Ticket?” Asked the driver, tapping his fingers impatiently.
“Yes, I do have one on my phone but it won’t work!” exclaimed Lillian, “ah, there we go!”
Quickly, she had managed to reboot her phone much to the relief of everyone on board. There was one seat towards the back but loud kids were close by. She made a split second decision to stand, but would have to be careful.
There were no messages from him, no calls nothing. Lillian glanced upwards towards the loud crowd, all seeming to be good friends and swapping numbers. She and her old friends were like that one. Until the days of innocence were all, but gone. This was what loneliness felt like first-hand.
The driver carefully navigated the passengers to all of the stops, much to Lillian’s joy. Standing for a while made her legs feel numb. She craved the soft, gentle kisses of Damien as they used to cuddle close under the duvets at night. Well, she had the cat now who sometimes liked to peep his nose in.
Walking to work, she had moments where she found herself debating about calling him up. Asking him lots of questions, wanting to hear his voice. But in her heart, she couldn’t. In a split second, he was gone.
Gone away with another women, making her heart beat but breaking Lillian’s in the process.
“Hey Lils, how was the weekend?” her friend Charlie asked as both of them clocked into work.
There was a pause before she openly admitted her inner thoughts, “It was the weekend from hell.”
“Yikes!” Charlie gasped, “What happened? Was it Bubbles eating something he shouldn’t have eaten?”
Lillian tried to blink back tears, “No, it was Damien... he was...”
Charlie made herself putting two and two together, “That bastard Lils, he was cheating on you?”
Someone had finally solved her secret mystery. But for the second time today, she couldn’t bring herself to vocally speak.
“He’s gone,” she finally whispered, “And I am too.”
