Window Gazer

He stood, gazing out the wall of windows, admiring the passerbys down below. They looked like ants from so high up. What were they doing? And why such a rush?

That’s the thing with people these days, he thought, they were always in a rush.

He exhaled, letting the smoke from his cigarette swirl around the glass. He cringed as he saw the shapes flowing in different patterns around the air. She’d hate this, he thought,his eyes still following the smoke. She always had. But she wasn’t here. And the thought stung his heart.

Her cold hands, her perpetually and pleasantly warm lips. Even in winter they managed to stay warm. Especially as his lips wrapped around hers.

She never wore gloves, despite the cold on her hands.

“They’re so cumbersome.”

He smiled to himself, looking down at his feet and blowing out more smoke. That was so like her. To use the word ‘cumbersome’ to describe something as simple as a glove.

But the smile fell from his face when he looked out the window again, his eyes falling on a couple sitting together lovingly. That could be them down there, he thought, on that bench in the grass. Watching the people rush past. She loved doing that. Watching and then making up the most intricate stories about the strangers. She’d make herself laugh. And she’d nudge for him to join her. He’d say something bland, nothing near her elaborate tales. But she’d laugh as though it were the funniest thing she had ever heard. She always made him feel like he was worth something. Like he had a purpose. And with her gone…

After laughing she’d always sigh. Like it was an accomplishment of some sort. He’d say something not-so-deserving of her laugh, but she'd giggle all the same, resting her head on his shoulder and finishing her laughs with a contented sigh, calling him silly.

He puffed out the smoke angrily, throwing the cigarette to the ground and stomping on it with his foot. He hoped she was happy, wherever she was.

Just then the old door creaked, and a familiar girl walked into the empty classroom.

“Hey you,” she gave him a smirk, making her way over to him. She swayed her hips a bit too much, and when she got close enough, she placed an overly sloppy kiss on his lips. For a moment he wondered what he was doing.

Just trying to forget.