The Path To Forgetting

The pale young woman looked out of the window, dreaming.

She closed her eyes and imagined herons flying through the sky, in beautiful harmony and synchronicity.

When she opened, there was none.

At the back of her mind there was something she had been thinking of for years, never forgotten.

The Queen of Hearts in her drawer, where she kept her most precious things that she looked at every night.

Every night she would never fail to take it out. She never failed to remember what his last words were to her.

Cheri... I'm so sorry...

She didn't want to remember the last sentence. It would plague her with remorse, bitter regret, and shatter her heart to pieces. And he left her, just like that.

She remembered the night she discovered Mystique was her mother, and she had pushed her down a cliff.

She cried and cried. She had screamed her lungs out to the point of insanity. In the pouring rain, in the deserted park, she thought no one heard her.

But someone did.

Someone who moved so slowly, so as not to scare her, and had came face to face with her.

When she recognized his handsome features through the rain, her frown disappeared and she fell into quiet sobs, jumping into his arms. And he held her tightly, never letting go until she did.

"Rogue? Rogue? Are you listening?" suddenly twenty pairs of eyes were on her. Her face flushed, embarrassed from the attention, and fidgeted nervously, until they all turned away and her teacher resumed teaching.

It was break. The fully clothed woman had gone to the toilet to neaten her hair.

She looked at herself, her white locks of hair framing her flawless face, the rest of her hair tied up into a neat brown bun. And when she looked into her eyes in the mirror, she thought of him. Him and his soft warm coat, the unusually soft pads of his fingers whenever he dared to touch her, her face.

And when he did, she knew she was never meant to be with him.

Her train of thought broke when a girl came dashing into the toilet, panting and downing the contents of her stomach in the sink. Rogue took a few steps away to give the poor girl some space.

There was a point when the girl looked at her through the mirror, conveying a sense of gratitude, before ducking down to vomit again.

And it triggered a memory of her past to come alive again.

When she was in the same position, drunk and unable to stand or walk, and he had come over, grabbed her hand and demanded her to go home, of which she refused.

Not that he listened to her anyway. In the morning, she remembered waking up feeling a bit dizzy, dizzy from laughter as well when she saw the Cajun strutting in her bedroom with a piping cup of cocoa topped with marshmallows.

And she remembered him making her feel fuzzy all over, warm inside, and comfortable.

And she remembered clearly their first kiss. His lips brushed hers ever so slightly, and then kissing her gently, letting her suck on his energy surging through him. Rogue felt tingles down her spine, adrenaline running through her entire body and she pressed her lips onto his smiling ones, giggling and kissing at the same time.

She had never felt more complete.

But he was gone now. Gone.

Time passed so quickly, and it was time to go home.

It began to rain.

She walked faster, her hostel close to the school building, fortunately.

And when she reached home, she noticed something amiss. Her drawer was open.

She didn't know how, but it was. And in it lay a card.

The Queen of Hearts.

You'll forever be in my heart, cheri... Forever.

Oh how she cried when she was relieved to see it. She thought it was gone, what was last of him.

And that was when she sat down on the mattress, her mind recalling the past.

He was gone because of her. She was the cause of his death. She, who had been unknowingly sucking not only energy, but his life at the same time, bit by bit. His energy growing weaker, his movements not as fluid, walking becomes exhausting, until two years ago he finally faded away in her arms.

"How am I supposed to live without you?"

And his last words to her were:

Cheri... I'm so sorry...

Please...please try to forget me.

And she haven't been able to forget him since.

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