Save me

“God, I forgot how beautiful it is,” I thought, looking out the window at the view in front of me. The waves, violently and stubbornly, crashed into the rocks over and over again. It was as if the water was trying to break away from the limits to which nature had placed it. The wind gently caressed the surface of this destructive force, giving it more power.

This is exactly what this beauty is all about. In a simultaneous battle for supremacy and reconciliation.

After the ocean is tired of its resistance to the solid and stationary rocks, it will calm down, reconcile with its fate and return to its former state of tranquility. Its waters will again turn greenish-blue and translucent, not as dark and cloudy as they used to be.

My father always said that everything in nature brings its soul and opinion.

“When people are angry, these emotions are evident in their eyes, in the expression on their face and the intonation of speech. It’s the same with nature, Aly. Look at the ocean, for example. When the water is stationary, the waters are blue. So it’s happy. However, when it is violent and unruly, it can even be dangerous. ”

From a child, Dad taught me to think of the world like magic. To believe in miracles.

But I no longer believe it.

I know better now.

The irony, however, was that my father was the one who tore off the last bit of faith in me.

“Leah!” my mother’s irritated voice came from the lower floor of the house. “We’re late, for God’s sake! Luke will be here any minute. Hurry up!”

I didn’t even bother answering her. I knew very well that she would not wait for my answer, but would simply continue what she was doing.

Before me, the image of the ocean was blurry, and on the clear surface of the window was the one on my face.

From there, two eyes, too big for my face, sky-blue color, looked at me. Fluffy and juicy lips. Tall cheekbones and clear skin. Blond and thick hair fell on natural curls almost to my waist.

People would say I’m beautiful.

People did say I was beautiful.

Maybe I would have thought that if it wasn’t for my eyes.

Empty.

Just like me.

But people are too busy and absorbed in their thoughts and everyday life that they did not even notice how a fifteen-year-old happy, enjoying life has disappeared a few years ago. They did not witness how in her place this blond doll with a blank look stood in which not even a drop of desire for life was read.

“Always look the eyes, Aly. They are the door you have to enter to get to know a person before you let him in your life. There you will find the answer to whether the person brings good in his soul, whether he is pure. Watch the eyes, little star. They never lie. ”

I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the cold window.

“Maybe I didn’t look closely enough in your eyes, Dad ...” - I sighed and forced myself not to think about it. At the moment I had something else to worry about.

And my mother, as if feeling my thoughts, shouted:

“Aleah!” God, she sounded almost angry. But I’m not surprised. It has not been difficult lately to get her off the rails. As if the only two emotions that kept her alive were anger and hatred.

“One will wait for the pear not to fall further than the tree,” I laughed bitterly at the thought that I might have anything to do with my mother.

“I’m coming!” this time I did not wait to hear her reaction. With a new sigh, I lifted my head, turned without paying attention to my room. At the moment, I did not need the painful memories that would undoubtedly appear if I looked around.

I crossed the room quickly, went into the bathroom and closed the door. I quickly washed my face with ice water and put my hands on my neck, holding them there for a while.

It was uncomfortable, but I learned that uncomfortable or even physical pain helps you not think. You focus on the sensation of cold water on your skin or the burning of the traces you have left with your nails ... or something else.

After the rhythm of my heart (which I didn’t know up to that moment had accelerated) calmed down, I stopped the faucet and without even a glance in the mirror, I left the bathroom. I grabbed my leather backpack, which I had thrown on the wooden dresser by the door, and left the room.

Mine was on the second floor of the house at the bottom of a long corridor, which led me to cross it. When I reached the stairs, from the top, I could see my mother walking nervously with the golden Rolex of her wrist (which Luc gave her for their anniversary) inseparable. Going down the stairs that divided us gave me time to really look at her.

Melissa Ward looked amazing. As always. Her long brown hair, with a slight hint of caramel shade, was elegantly styled into a tight bun at the base of her nape, to emphasize her chocolate eyes. My mother wore a short black ″Prada″ dress that showed enough skin to be sexy but at the same time stay classy. Tall silver heels whose straps were fastened around her ankles. Her accessories were the small handbag on her shoulder and the heavy perfume.

I had to confess, she was beautiful ...

“Aleah! What in God’s name?” My mother exclaimed, showing me that she had noticed my approach.

... “only if beauty went with character.” - I thought and crossed the last few steps until I stood face to face with the woman who gave me life.

The lot of makeup on her face failed to hide her thoughts, so my hand involuntarily tightened around the backpack handle and got ready. And my mother, being my mother, did not disappoint me:

“I told you, Leah,” I rolled my eyes, but she was too busy to comment. “I told you it was important for Luke tonight. On the plane, I asked you not to ruin today” in fact, she instructed me to look decent (which in her language could be interpreted as “Do your best not to look like yourself.“).

“Leah, did you hear me?”

“What?” - the irritation in my voice is too obvious. I understood it when she pressed her lips together and her hand darted forward to grab mine just above the elbow.

“I said,” she gritted her teeth as he dragged me to the door, “we’re late,” I didn’t answer. “And because of you again. When will you finally grow up? You are almost eighteen years old!” I remained silent on her rhetorical question.

We crossed the large marble foyer of the house (my gaze again directed straight ahead) and went out the door.

Then I saw him. And I realized that my mother had seen him too, because suddenly her hand was no longer clutching mine, and the sound of her heels was echoing in the evening silence as she wandered the alley straight into Luke’s arms.

I rolled my eyes and approached them, though I didn’t pay attention. I opened the back door of the Porshe Cayenne S, with which Luke had come (one of his five cars) and settled inside.

I took out my phone and opened Messages. I had 2 from Kara. I started opening the first one when I heard Luc’s voice and lifted my head to see that both my mother and him had climbed in the car.

“Well, Leah? Are you excited about the new school year starting next week? New friends, new school. I think it’s exciting, and you?“I met his dark look in the rearview mirror before he points his back to the road. I saw a genuine interest in his eyes, which surprised me.

“Not really.“After not wanting to move here or change schools I automatically answered what I thought and realized that again it was not the right thing to do when my mother turned and gave me a look saying “If you ruin the evening I won’t forgive you” I rolled my eyes. Whatever.

I ignored Luke’s new attempts to speak to me and my mother’s comments and turned my attention back to the phone in my hands. I opened the messages from Kara:

K: Hey, girl! I miss you already. New York is not the same without you. Write to me as soon as you land. I want photos of the beach. XO

K: OMG! Why aren’t you answering? If you met a cute boy without me I’ll stop talking to you! Honestly!

I rolled my eyes. Kara was the type of girl who only thought about 4 things - guys, sex, parties, and more guys. With her dark hair, blue eyes and a body saying “come and take me”, Kara is a person who has no problem telling you that you are a moron. Or if she wants to sleep with you, she will grab you for your dick and lead you by it until she slams the door of her bedroom behind you. She was the exact opposite of me. I was the outsider, who at almost 18 years, hasn’t even kissed a boy. And yet (or say thanks to that) we are best friends. “At least as much as you can be a friend with a walking zombie-like me.”

I met Kara in the first grade. We were studying at the same school in New York. We met on the first day when Ms. Debri made us introduce ourselves to the class. It was my turn and she asked me what was my favorite place in the world.

I answered: Daddy’s house on the beach because the ocean is there.

“What’s the ocean for you, Aleah?”

“It’s magic to me.”

“Wait,” one of the boys cried, “do you believe in things like mermaids and magical beings?”

Then the class started laughing, and I was sitting there trying not to cry when a voice came from the end of the room.

“Well yes! Ricky and Emma from H2O live there. They are awesome!”

When I lifted my head, I saw a blue-eyed girl with very beautiful black hair getting out of her chair and lying on the floor. When I tried to figure out what she was doing, I realized she was trying to recreate the tail-swing and was trying to swim like a mermaid. I could not restrain myself and started laughing. Then the girl raised her head and our eyes met. At that moment we both started laughing louder and it did silence the voice of mockery. From that day on, Kara Scott became my best friend, with whom we were inseparable, before the incident two years ago. And despite the many attempts to repel her, she never gave up on me.

The Cayenne’s brakes pulled me from my thoughts.

I didn’t reply to Kara, telling myself that it was better for both of us. I put the phone in my jeans pocket and got out of the car. I saw Luke give the keys to the boy who had to park the car before going around it waiting for my mother to get out. I rolled my eyes away and thought, “What a surprise. And they say the gentlemen were gone. ”

“Never let a boy handle you with disdain, Aly. He has to be careful and treat you with respect. When you are in the car together, wait for him to open the door for you, to lend a hand to you” with Daddy sitting on the big rock on the beach, right in front of our house, y back rested on his chest.

“But, Dad, I can open the door myself” exclaimed cheerfully with the innocent voice of my eight-year-old self. Then I heard, rather I felt, Dad’s ringing laughter.

“Look at that bird over there,” he raised his hand over my shoulder and pointed to the sky. I noticed a beautiful seagull floating over the endless expanse of the ocean. “She can fly alone, can’t she? Even when the weather is calm and there is no wind? But why do it, as the wind can be there for her and make her flying easier and more enjoyable. Why, at the same time, can she make company to the lone wind and make his monotonous existence more interesting and exciting? They are like two lost souls, fundamentally different, having nothing in common with each other, except the desire for freedom. Although they do not need each other, they will always be there for each other. Like lovers.”

“Lov... what?”

“I’ll tell you another time, little star,” he smiled. “Run to your mother now, Aly.”

I turned and saw Mom walking towards us, a broad smile on her face. She was barefoot and her long hair was curling behind her.

I got off my dad’s lap and ran. Mom opened her hands and grabbed me just as my body collided with hers. She lifted me off the ground and spun me into the air. I could feel Dad’s gaze on us.

Even the wind couldn’t quiet our laugher.

Again, Luke was the man who called me to reality:

“Leah, are you coming?” I swallowed the newly arrived tears, cleared my throat, and turned to Luke and my mother, who were now standing outside the restaurant door, waiting for me.

“Yes,” I said in a low voice. "Yes, I am coming."