A Taste of You

Groceries remained in plastic containers scattered randomly across the small refrigerator. The lights above my head flickered once, twice, before I shut the door and turned towards the sleeping figures sprawled on the wooden floor.

My sisters slept soundly in the low lit living room. Down the hall, I heard the soft snores from my parents; one louder than the other. My hands rubbed the dark circles under my eyes, ignoring the soreness from my palms, legs, and everything in between.

I was pushing myself harder than I should be, but the training sessions that people from the wealthier side of Canine paid for were harder, longer, and better equipped. Anything less on my part would earn an automatic failing grade for Phase 1 of the mating tradition. Instinctively, I groaned at the thought of them.

Most of the winners from previous generations were wealthy enough to afford the nonchalance with food, if it would last for the whole week or not. I was hopeful against the odds. It came from the few winners who grew up where I lived. South Canine, the less privileged side with few people and even fewer jobs. Withered buildings, unpatched pavements, and broken families.

Sarah Carter was the last winner from here.

Painstakingly, I memorized her training, making sure the agonizing croaks of my bones weren’t in vain. The enduring runs, fastings, lifting, and self defense sessions with Nathan, a guard for our Alpha and the only friend I had, were the closest shot at winning. Of course, the prize itself wasn’t any ordinary prize; under normal circumstances I would avoid it at all costs, but this wasn’t about me.

I dragged my feet across the creaking floor, slipping my jacket off before settling into the space left on the thin blanket that shielded my back from the cold floor. Our home was no different than our neighbors’: tattered roofs, thin walls that were no opponent to the gusts of wind, and second-hand furniture. Although sometimes families traded them for food, or any other provision.

Liz, the younger one of us three, scooted closer, pressing her face against my stomach and pushing away from Sam. My fingers traced over her lopsided braids, each stroke becoming slower and slower.

Morning runs became easier, but I wasn’t sure if it was numbness, or the endurance of my body for the twists and turns of the forest. The emerald greens and patches of browns were second nature to me. The statuesque trees feathered out into the sky, longing to touch the clouds that floated at their own will, while the rest of us stayed rooted to the ground.

Wealthy people trained on clean fields, but the truth is, no opponent would ever give a clean fight. It was easy to avoid the fallen branches, the loose rocks only half sunk in the mud, and the leaves reaching out to touch my face.

A flash movement came from the far left side, ruing the rhythm I had fallen into. Just as I was stepping on a fallen trunk to jump over the stones, a towering shadow jumped in front of me, swiftly turning around to bury me within itself. I embraced for impact, but was only caught in a blanket of fur. When we stopped rolling down the hill, I coughed up the hair in my mouth.

“Seriously?” I ran the back of my hand down and then across my lips, cursing a string of profanities at Nathan. Usually he joined my runs when he was assigned perimeter checks at dawn, so it wasn’t a surprise whenever he popped out of nowhere to push my heaving body to the finish mark.

His hazel eyes were lighter than his almond colored fur. He sat on his hind legs, paws slightly bigger than my head. If he wanted to, one good swipe in my direction would be the end of me.

“You know, you could’ve just ran alongside me.” Nathan shook his head in response. “Alright, but don’t act surprised when I change my running schedule to avoid you.”

I always admired their wolf forms. Not everyone in the pack was allowed to shift into one. Unless you were working for the Alpha’s pack like Nathan was, or you were chosen to mate, would you have the privilege to be bitten by the Alpha, or injected with three ounces of his blood; anything more was lethal to a human.

Nathan stood up on all fours, turned around, and hid behind a tree. When he came back out, he was fully naked.

“You need me, Jamie. Last time, you didn’t even make it to the damn river!”

I scoffed, “That’s because I deliberately went around. I can’t jump ten feet across like you can, Nate.”

He laughed, running his hands through his tangled hair, “That can change. You’re just too stubborn.”

Perhaps I was, but I didn’t hold myself accountable the way he did. I placed my hands against his chest, observing the scars on his tanned skin for a while before glancing up at him, “I can’t.”

My answer was always the same and that earned a hard eye roll from him as he stepped away, my hands dropping to my sides, “Yes, you can. You just don’t want to because you’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid,” I argued, reaching out for him. “I just don’t like being uncertain. We’ve talked about this.”

He shook his head and arm away, ”You’ve talked about it, and then refused to listen to my reasoning.”

“Mating with you won’t guarantee my family’s survival, Nate.”

“Jamie,” he insisted, stepping close enough for me to see the plea in his eyes. “You don’t need the Alpha to survive,” he whispered, making sure his words were only for my ears.

I pursed my lips together, letting his forehead fall softly against mine. I wish he hadn’t been assigned as a guard.

Nathan had passed the test, becoming one of the pack’s best fighters in only five years. If he hadn’t, he’d either have to excel in a profession, or live off scraps. The men who took up professions were usually rich to start with. Leaving people like my father, an experienced nurse, out of the game and into the shadows like hundreds before him.

Nothing assured me that at some point Nathan wouldn’t be ripped away from me. That would put me back to square one, and by then, it’d be too late to compete.

I didn’t have to say any of it to him because he didn’t need that on his mind whenever our pack had a surprise attack.

Nate sighed, “If I didn’t like you so much...” It pained to have to choose someone else over him. He had etched himself deeply into me, it made the idea of mating with anyone else repulsive.

“I know,” I mumbled. But this wasn’t about me, or him. This was about everyone but us.