Long Live One

What’s that saying that goes: "From every wound there's a scar. And every scar tells a story that says "I have survived" Turn your wounds into wisdom."? Oh right, I didn't forget. I mean, how could I? It's something that I live by all the time. You know?

But you..the one who's reading this right now, do you understand what that means? Do you have the courage of reading through my life without judgement?

I could go on and on but this? This is a bit of a twisted story so just hold tight.

Oh, Guess I'll have to tell my story now right? I'll start from the beginning..

Keri Preston

"Okay class, we're not going to do any work today but I do have something y'all can do for a participation grade." My professor says, sitting his coffee on his desk before walking up to the board.

"I hope it ain't something we have to do outside." The girl next to me said, picking at her nails.

"I hope not."

"Alright class!" Professor Whitman says, clasp his hands together. "I want everybody to gather around in one big circle."

Watching as everybody got up to move towards the front, in a circle, I followed leaving my stuff behind. Some people were talking amongst themselves while Professor Whitman fixes up his papers and I looked around at my surroundings. The class is diverse with people mixed with other things other than black. Some were quiet, some were loud, some took it upon themselves to rap every now and again. But me? I did nothing and by nothing I mean, sitting silently until something happens or someone speaks to me. I don't speak unless I'm spoken to or unless I have to ask a question which is rare.

Yes, after I got out of high school, the plan was to take a year off since I didn't want to go straight to college. But now? I'm finally here and I've been doing well. I've been here for about 3 weeks and I still don't know anyone's name just yet, not that I care anyways. I only know just a few.

"Alright, so I decided to try something a little different in this class and I want to discuss some personal topics."He says, making me frown. "It's a participation grade but if you don't want to, that's on you."

He walks over to his chairs and pulls it in the middle of the circle, lifting his left leg over the right.

"Why exactly are we doing this all of a sudden?" Ashely asks, raising her hand.

"I know that I've been a little hard on y'all so I want to get to know you and you guys feelings." He says. "I want to be the cool teacher without gassing y'all with a load of work.

The class laughed before finally settling down.

"How this is going to work is I'm going to ask you guys a personal question and we'll go around the class with our answers." He says, looking around the room. "Each have two minutes to think about your answers."

"It's like 30 people in this class, Professor Whitman."

"I mean if you want work, then I could give you guys work." He says, making everybody go silent. "Let's get started."

Shifting a bit into my seat, I grew nervous.

"Is love a feeling or commitment?" He asks while looking around the room. "You guys have to two minutes to think about it."

I know he said that he was going to ask personal questions to try and get to know us but, that's deep. Maybe too deep. Do I think love is a feeling or commitment?

I personally think that nobody is down for the long run anyways. Most girls around here only have one thing they're good at and that's sucking and fucking.

"Alright times up, who wants to go first?" Professor Whitman asks as a student raises his hand. "Jeremih, Is love a feeling or commitment?"

"I think it's a commitment."

"No it isn't, it's a feeling."

"I didn't ask you." Jeremih shots back dryly at the girl, making her frown.

"I asked Jeremih, Not Jessica." Professor Whitman says sternly before turning his attention back on Jeremih. "You were saying?"

"I said it's a commitment."

"Okay, why?"

"Because once you love someone, it's just something that you can't help but to feel." He starts. "Commitment is about being with another person in a relationship, but love is not always necessary."

"Very good. Josè?"

"Nah, I'm good."

I slowly raise my hand in the air, slightly regretting it.

"Keri?"

"Uhm." I start as I clear my throat. "it's a feeling. I mean, falling in love is easy to do, almost effortless, but losing that loving feeling is not that hard to do."

"I agree." A guy called out, making me look over at him.

Since I've been in this class, I've never heard him speak. I don't even know his name either but he was pretty cute.

"And can you explain to us why you think its not a commitment?"

"The best way I can explain it is that, a person may want to be with someone else because they have affection for them, or it may just be a feeling of comfort that motivates them." I say, shrugging as everyone started clapping.

"True." Randy said, sitting up in his seat. "Some people don't really be in love either, they just like the comfort and feeling of it."

"Are y'all enjoying this so far?" Professor Whitman asked us as most of us nodded.

"This shit wack." Some random blurted as we got quiet and looked over at him.

"Then why are you here?" Another girl asked him in disgust.

"We will not do this right now." Professor Whitman says sternly. "If you don't like it, you may remove yourself from my class."

Huffing, not saying anything else, he stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry about that, I love that answer, Keri. Thank you." Professor Whitman says, clapping as well before moving on to the next person.

"Nazir?"

"Wassup?"

"What do you think?"

"I agree with her." He says, shrugging. "It's a feeling simply because you can't help who your heart falls for. You feel me?"

"I feel you, dawg." Another guy called out, pulling out his phone.

"Preciate it dat."

"Alright, good answers so far. Let's continue."

"Wait, can I say something else?"

"Sure, Angel. Go ahead."

"No one seems to want to talk about how those loving feelings can fade, that it takes work to keep the love alive, and that choosing to stay in love is a choice we all must make." Angel says. "You can't pick and choose who you fall in love with."

"Understood. Great answer." Professor Whitman says, before taking a sip of his coffee. "Let's continue."

>>>

As I picked up my books and other items, I made my way towards the exit making my way outside to my car. I actually liked the session we had today, it's almost like everybody had different opinions and it makes you really think about some things.

When I opened my car door, I got inside and closed it placing my books in the passenger seat when I got a knock on my window.

It was Nazir.

"Yes?"

"Sorry I caught you at da' wrong time, I just wanted to tell you that I felt what you said in class." He says, licking his lips.

"Thank you." I smile, mentally letting him know that I appreciate it. "I understood what you meant as well."

"No problem."He smiles at me, leaning against my car door. "Can I just ask a question? I would've asked anybody else but after hearing their opinions, you can tell some are simple-minded."

"You're right about that." I chuckle at his response. "What's up?"

"Which one would you agree with more? Love should always feel comfortable, or love should always feel new and exciting?"

Hearing what he said, I sighed in confusion. I didn't know the answer to that question but I'll answer to the best of my ability. Should love always feel comfortable or new and exciting?

I thought about it for a minute as I bit my lip in thought? Damn, that's actually a hard question.

"That's actually a hard question to answer, you mind getting in? I don't want to keep you waiting."

"Fasho.

"You not like a killer or anything, are you?"

"Nah." He chuckles. "If I was, I wouldn't be in college."

Nodding my head satisfied with his answer, I unlocked my door as he ran to the other side getting inside.

"So to answer your best to the best of my ability, I think love should feel comfortable." I tell him honestly, watching as he made eye contact with my lips before looking back up at me with a nod.

It was in a creepy way or so I felt. It's

almost like he's trying to get to know me.

"That's not a bad answer." He smiles, showing off his pearly white teeth.

"Thank you."

"I just wanted to know." He says. "I'm gonna get going."

"Alright that's fine." I say as he started to get out. "Wait, I have a question to ask."

"Wassup?"

"Why do you think falling in love is so scary?"

After I asked the question, he licked his lips before finally making eye contact with me. In hopes of getting an answer, he began to speak.

"Because real love makes us feel vulnerable."

Looking over at him in shock by his answer, he made his way out the car and began to jog over to his before getting inside and pulling off leaving me still shocked. I didn't expect that from him just because I just met him in less than 24 hours. It seem like he knew more about love than I did and I was surprised.

I don't know if I'm my mind is playing trips on me but is it weird that I can mentally connect with him?

Shaking the thought away, I sighed before starting up the car and pulling off to my parents house.

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New story, how y'all feeling about this? 💓

Do you think love is a feeling or commitment? Let me know in the comment section, I wanna hear your thoughts. 🖤