Prologue
“So this is Kyoto.”
I have to admit, I was more impressed by my wariness of the place than I was with the city itself. It wasn’t the people I feared per se, but what I may have to do to them should they discover the secret that I harbor.
At least the simple hellos of people passing in the street seemed friendly enough. They did not even seem to notice me as I meandered through the crowd.
They just nodded and smiled to one another as though they were family and not strangers about on errands. Family, I glanced at each person as they continued to ignore my presence, I wonder what that feels like?
Still...
There was something else as well. Something that made the hairs on my arms stand on end. Something that made the city seem strangely cold and uninviting. Almost as though there were a great invisible wall shutting out anyone it felt did not belong.
“Um...”
Ifelt as though I did not belong here.
I grumbled in frustration with my own paranoia.
“No, no... That’s all in my head.”
I had no idea how far or long I had had to walk to reach Kyoto, but it suddenly occurred to me that both my mind and body were very tired. Even so, exhaustion was no reason to stand about feeling sorry for myself. After all, I could not afford to.
“Excuse me...!”
With new - albeit forced - resolve, I attempted to stop a passerby.
“I’m sorry, but I seem to be a bit lost, could you...?”
...
“What the heck am I supposed to do now?!”
And once again I was lost, but in a more frustrating sort of way.
I sighed in annoyance and found myself looking up at the darkening sky. The sun was beginning to set. Well, hell!
The people I’d spoken to had not exactly been unkind, and they had given me the directions I’d needed, however...
“Had now really been the best moment to leave the city?!”
Apart from my father, well, to be quite honest, my father was pretty damn useless unless you were wounded and/or dying, so really the only person I could rely on in the city was a man named Dr. Matsumoto.
My father was a doctor as well, however, he seemed to be the type that only cared about his patients and his family not at all.
According to my father, Dr. Matsumoto was a doctor in service to the Shogunate.
I had never met the man myself but my father put a great deal of trust in him which in itself did not help me feel all that much better about my current trek through the city of Kyoto.
Father had told me that should I run in to any trouble during his absence that I was to contact this Dr. Matsumoto. I mean, honestly, what’s the worst that could happen? The guy couldn’t possibly be worse than my father!
Unfortunately...
The doctor was out on business and would not return for some time. I know, typical absence of the doctor.
Something I knew all too well.
“Had I been too hasty? Perhaps I should have waited...”
Or perhaps I should have run away instead of traveling to a city that had more danger than it was worth in search of a man who was more trouble than he was worth.
But hey...! No one ever said that life was going to make sense...ever.
However, it is rather rude to visit unannounced, which was why I had sent a flipping letter ahead of me. But it would seem he had left before reading my it.
Now, a smart person would have waited for a reply before traveling to a city they had yet to see, but let’s face it, I’m just not nearly patient enough to be that smart.
“But...”
Oh, forget it! There was just no point in trying to reason with a mind that was this impatient. Besides, there trouble even I didn’t trust my father not to get into.
“Chizuru...”
“Is something wrong, father?”
I graced him with the most convincing concerned face I could muster.
He paused for a moment to glance at me.
“I-it would seem that I must go to the city of Kyoto for a time.”
“Work again?”
This would be like the 4th time this month! What the crap does he do that takes him away so often?! It couldn’t possibly be just doctor stuff!
Father had been leaving the house often then, sometimes for several days at once. However, whenever he would sidestep the question of what he did while he was away, I never prodded further to get the real answer. After all, my mother never did, or so I was told.
“How long will you be gone for this time?”
I tried to sound more disappointed than annoyed, though I wasn’t exactly sure I had succeeded.
If he had noticed it did not show, which only fueled my annoyance further.
“...I’m afraid I cannot say. A month, perhaps. Maybe two.”
“...Oh.”
There was no hiding my disappointment. Though, I was not disappointed he was leaving, only that I was being left behind...again.
Nevertheless, I was no longer a child and could not beg him to take me along or some other foolishness. Yes, I’d be lonely. And honestly, that’s all I could think about at the moment. The constant and never ending loneliness that swallowed me up whenever he left.
I knew it was probably immature for me to get this angry, but he was supposed to be my father first, and doctor second. And even though I wanted to strangle him at that moment, the words came spilling from my mouth like some kind of sick habit.
“Please, father, be careful.”
I could remember saying these words back when I actually meant them. And even though they no longer held any meaning for me I still found myself saying them.
“They say that the city of Kyoto is dangerous.”
And, as usual, he said nothing. Only smiled and nodded.
But then he surprised me by suddenly saying, “You needn’t fret. I will be sure to send you letters as often as I am able, so that you will have no need to worry this time.”
I was so entirely caught off guard by his kind words that I couldn’t halt my next question.
“Do you promise...?”
...
I could not believe it. Father had actually kept his promise.
A new letter arrived everyday, and I scarcely had the time to respond before another would arrive. Each letter revealed that he was worried about me, home all by myself. I had a a sudden vague memory of something similar my mother would do whenever she would leave me alone. Though, if I was honest with myself, my mother had died before I form any concrete memory of her. So, it was really like a dream than any true memory.
But then the letters stopped and I couldn’t help but wonder if all the letters he had sent had just been some kind of fluke.
A whole month passed and I began to strangely worry about the old man.
...
...
“Father...”
They say Kyoto is full of ronin. It is not a safe place for those of us who wish to keep our secrets hidden. If we were to run into some kind of life-threatening danger - if I were to - I preferred to not think about what I would need to do - even if it were in self defense - to the person foolish enough to place my life in danger.
Usually a samurai is paid by their house, however...
Ronin with no house to report to often robbed others to make their own ends meet. They’re nothing more than vicious animals who hide behind the image of the samurai.
Such is the state of the city of Kyoto, the city of the apparently psychotic.
Small wonder then that I worried about my father’s safety. My mind would wander and concoct horrible possibilities and I inevitably found myself depressed and tense.
“Well, hell...”
My stomach made a sudden embarrassing gurgling noise followed by a loud yawn erupting from my mouth.
“First I suppose I need to find a place to eat and stay.”
Lost in thought, I failed to notice that night had already fallen. If I was honest with myself, which I wasn’t nearly enough, I hadn’t the first clue how long it would take to locate my foolish father.
I’d taken some money with me, though not nearly enough. I hoped it last me a month if I used it wisely.
If I could find the old man in that time, so much the better. If not, hopefully Dr. Matsumoto would return before my funds ran out. If I failed to find either of them then it seemed I would be forced to return home. Though if I was using head instead of my heart I would just run and never look back. But there had been something stranger than usual about my father this time before he left. As though he were hiding more secrets than he usually did...darker secrets.
I sighed in annoyance with myself.
“Well, at any rate... I should try to be as frugal as possible.”
And so I quickened my pace and set off down the street. Fortunately for me, men’s clothing was much more conducive to such a pace than women’s clothing would have been. Not that I ever really wore women’s clothing. I’ve always be partial to men’s clothing, I mean, let’s face it ladies, it’s more comfortable.
I had decided early on that a girl exploring the city of Kyoto alone would draw far too much attention, and someone would most likely end up severely dead.
My disguise, such as it was, had proven successful, and I’d made it all the way to Kyoto without anyone attempting to molest me...as if they could...ha.
Perhaps that success had gone to my head and allowed me to believe that a woman dressed as a man could explore the city as she pleased.
Though it would appear fate had other plans for me.
Kyoto is not a safe place. I should have remembered that.
Instead I had convinced myself that whatever dangers the city hid did not apply to someone like me.
“Hey, kid!”
I mumbled under my breath.
“Well, hell...”
I slowly turned to the owner of the voice, prepared to do whatever it took to continue my search. In the street before me were tree men. Ronin. I rolled my eyes.
“Fantastic,” I grumbled.
“Can I help you?”
I did my best to make my voice appear innocent as I reached in what I felt was a nonchalant way for my katana.
My father had made me take self defense lessons as a child. I’d kept with the and had achieved more skill than he could have ever hoped. There were very few attacks that my skill could not defend against. Then again...
Perhaps it was my arrogant confidence in my skill that had put me in this situation in the first place.
I’d messed up and let my guard down, my fault. There was no doubt in my mind, however, that I could take them on and win. But would taking three lives truly help me in this already seemingly pointless search?
One of the Ronin glanced at my katana with a hunger in his eyes.
“Pretty nice blade you got there, kid.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes again.
Only then did I realize that they were far more interested in my sword than they were in me.
“Looks like a bit much for a pup like this one, am I right?”
“Give it here, okay? We’ll use it to defend our country.”
This one seemed to be the most clueless and therefore must be the leader of this group of morons.
For a short moment I contemplated unsheathing my sword and slaughtering all three of them, then it occurred to me that it would be way more fun to mess with them a little, considering it was only my sword they were after and not my life.
However, the sword wasn’t just some random blade I’d picked up: it had been passed down thru my family for generations, my mother had left it for me. So I would have to make them pay just a little bit for attempting to take it from me.
I would play the part they so desired; the part of the innocent victim. I would retreat, run and then when they least expected it...
I gave them an innocent smile, lowered my hand from my katana and then turned and ran as fast as my legs would carry me, though not so fast that they would lose sight of me.
“Hey! Get back here you little bastard!”
Hysterical laughter tried to force its way past my lips but I stifled it immediately. No point in letting on too soon that it wasn’t I who was the victim here.
“Huh. They sure don’t give up easily, do they?”
Though, in truth, I was actually kind of glad, since now I would have an outlet for my previous frustration.
It seemed like I’d been running for quite some time. I worried my prey would soon tire, but I could still hear the ronin behind me, cursing loudly.
I quickly ducked into an alley and flattened myself up against the wall. Growing somewhat bored with this and worried they’d be stupid enough to pass by the alleyway, I knocked over a stack of plywood so they’d know exactly where I was.
I suddenly sensed a presence other than the three ronin and myself coming from the other end of the alley and decided to venture further into it.
It suddenly occurred to me that I had sensed this presence once before as a child, and it had terrified me then. And now it occurred to me that I aught to be more cautious with this particular presence closing in.
Someone had left a few more sheets of wood leaning against one of the houses. It was a perfect spot to hide. I wasn’t particularly frightened but I was not foolish enough to go up against something that could very possibly end me.
...
...
“...Wtf?!”
Something wasn’t right. I had at least expected to hear whatever else was following me and the ronin to shriek or yell to each other, but...
Seconds turned into minutes and still I heard nothing. I was about to give up and continue my search when...
“EEEEAAAAGGHH!!!”
...they began to scream. The presence I had felt earlier grew exponentially.
“Wh-what?!”
For the first time since I was a child, I felt fear deep into my very soul.
My plan to continue father searching was immediately halted.
Remaining silent and hidden was clearly more important.
Still...
One of the ronin cried out in anger...
“Damn you!”
Intense fear flowed through the words that fell from the third ronin’s lips.
“What is this?! Why won’t you die?! We need to get out of here!”
I’m not sure why, but true fear began to seep into my own mind.
There was something out there something very, very dangerous. Something quite possibly even lethal...to me.
The possibilities were...well my imagination conjured up no shortage of gruesome theories.
Even so, I could feel caution being stripped away. I needed to know what was out there.
Slowly, carefully I edged up to the corner and looked out. Cold moonlight glared at me from the bare blade of a drawn sword. My right hand instinctively flew to my katana and before I knew it my own sword was draw in an attempt to block theirs. My eyes then followed up the blade, to the arm that held it, clad in a coat of light blue.
The thing looked down at me and let out a high pitched laugh.
“EHEHEHEHEH!”
Clearly this, whatever this was, was not here to save me.
Now realizing just how much danger the truly were in the two surviving ronin began to slowly retreat.
“H-Help...!”
I glared at them, I mean, what the hell did they think I was doing?!
The ronin pathetically begged for his life as he stumbled back he glanced at me as though I were the monster attacking him. That’s when the second whatever it was, stepped out from the shadows clad in the same blue coat as the other, his sword raised.
“Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!”
“AHAHAHAHAHA!”
A high, screeching laugh cut through the ronin’s scream.
The man’s eyes pleaded with me once more and for a moment I hesitated, I mean, he did after all try to murder me for my sword. But then the more gentle side of me won over, and as the blade fell through the air, much more like a butcher’s cleaver than a sword, I felt something almost primal surge though me, a long-forgotten power forcing its way through my veins, and I no longer felt afraid. Whatever those things were, apparently they could sense it as well for they halted their attack on the two remaining ronin and turned to face me: their new prey.
I slowly looked up and narrowed my eyes in such a way I hoped they would find threatening. There was no need for anyone else to die needlessly. It was annoying enough to have witnessed one murder take place; but if anyone else was going to die it would be by my hand!
I narrowed my eyes further and growled at them not really sure whether they even knew what that meant.
Whatever fear these creatures had instilled in me was suddenly gone.
The hunger in their eyes was almost animalistic. But also knew that my own eyes were probably equally frightening. This part of me was not something I made a habit of showing but then I rarely came up against an opponent stronger than myself. In order to fight them I would need to draw strength from the part of me I tended to ignore.
The two ronin began to whimper again drawing the attention of one of the creatures back to them.
A third of the creatures came up from behind the two men and this unfortunately took all three of us by surprise. What happened next was too quick for even me to react. The two ronin had died with first blow but as I watched the blades kept falling, carving deep lines into the corpses.
The soft slip of a blade through flesh; the crack as it struck bone; the silent creep of blood across the ground. I sensed nothing from them but madness. Their only desire was raw animal violence. I was now positive they were not human.
They were...broken.
The smell of the blood, there was so much of it that even I couldn’t bare it.
“Hhgkk...!”
I could feel my throat closing up, but I forced myself to remain standing and alert. The warm dark smell brushed against my face, causing an icy bolt of fear to run down my spine. Now, a smart person would be terrified, but, like I said before, I’m just not patient enough to be that smart.
But what was I going to do...? The strength of the creature pushing their sword down on my own was growing more intense with every passing second. What could I do...?
I thought about running, but somehow I knew that as soon as I stopped pushing up on the sword of the creature standing directly behind me, it would cut me down. There had to be some way to survive this.
I forced my jaw open and drew a ragged breath.
The other two creatures were still mutilating the bodies of the three dead Ronin; I did not think I could handle the sound of bones being crushed over and over and over any longer.
I drew in one more unsteady breath and yelled at them.
“Hey, uglies!!”
The creatures turned, their blue coats drenched in blood. Hideous animalistic grins split their inhuman faces, and they shook with animal excitement at finding new prey to slaughter.
Well, hell!
“I can see that you’re going to make this one of those nights.”
I didn’t quite know what else to do so I just bantered at them.
It only then occurred to me just how big a mistake I had made venturing into this narrow alleyway seeing as now I had no route of escape. My arms were becoming tired as I searched for any gaps I may have missed through which to escape. Dying now would be unacceptable.
But I couldn’t get off my knees. The power behind the sword of my enemy was far more than that of my own. Then that hideous cackling laughter began again and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was going to die after all.
My body was now frozen with terror. I couldn’t even scream. This was it. Well, life, it was nice living you.
As they all raised their blades I finally let mine fall to the ground...in defeat.
A sudden whoosh of wind and something wet hitting my skin, forced my eyes open and I quickly surveyed my new surroundings.
“What the...?!”
There was a flash of light and another soft splash of blood. I could feel it, warm and sticky. The smell of this blood, however, was far more pungent than that of the three men that had died at the force of the creatures’ blades. Bile began to rise in my throat, but before disgust could take hold, I heard a voice...
“Really...?”
The words suggested disappointment but the voice sounded...happy?
“And here I was, planning to take care of them all all on my own. Couldn’t you have picked a different day to work so quickly, Saito?”
As he spoke, the strange man smiled, almost as though he were enjoying himself. And don’t think for a moment that I failed to notice that these strange were clothed in the same light blues as the creatures were wearing.
“I only did my job. Unlike you, I take no pleasure in battle.”
That’s not how it looked from here, I thought, bemused.
“Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say.”
He laughed, clearly more amused than insulted.
The other man rolled his eyes and then said, “...You don’t even bother to deny it.”
The man named Saito sighed with the air of a long-suffering companion, and looked over at me.
“Yeah, well, if you had just let them kill the kid you could have saved us a lot of trouble.”
I narrowed my eyes at the snarky one, struggling with the urge to smack him across the face. I don’t know who he thought he was but three creatures that could very well have been his companions for all I knew had just attempted to murder me only to be slaughtered by them. And now he regrets not having let them kill me as well?! What a pig!
“Perhaps. But, that decision is not ours to make.”
“Huh...?”
So...there was someone in charge of these two. Their conversation suggested that they were part of an organization of some sort. (Organization of thugs no doubt.) Though, as I thought about it, I remembered hearing stories of a group of men with blue coats...
“Aah-!”
My thoughts were rudely interrupted by a dark shape sliding in to view. But when my eyes met theirs I no longer cared...
“Oh...”
I swallowed hard and prayed to any god or goddess that would listen that he could not see the sudden flush in my cheeks. The moonlight shone off his smooth, dark hair. For reasons, I couldn’t fathom, in that moment the light on his hair reminded me fluttery flower petals. Almost as though the cherry trees were blooming out of season.
He’s gorgeous, I thought to myself and then immediately felt even more embarrassed. The guy had a freaking sword pointed at my throat and here I was all enamored by his unnatural beauty.
“Luck is not your friend tonight.”
His voice was cold and quiet like a blade of ice. The glow of the blue white moon lit the features of his young slender face, and shown from the blade he held pointed at my throat. However, it was not the sword that made my breath catch in my throat. It was his alluring amethyst eyes. They were fierce and hard, but somewhere behind them I caught a glimpse of...something else. There could be no doubt that he was prepared to kill me, and yet, he looked troubled. Not kindness, but perhaps...mercy?
“Run and I will end. Do you understand?”
I nodded. There could be no doubt that he’d meant every word he said. But yet, he stared at me for a moment his eyes lingering where my breasts would have been had I not had them tightly bandaged up. He didn’t strike me as a pervert and yet his eyes still lingered near my chest as though he wondered why it wasn’t there.
Well, hell! You don’t suppose he knows that you’re a girl?!
If he did, if he had somehow seen through my pitiful disguise, would he change his mind and show me mercy or would he still kill me?
I let my gaze linger within his for a moment longer, but then he grimaced, and with a sigh, put his sword away.
“Wait-what?!”
I was too surprised to stop myself from speaking, and it quickly became apparent that I was not the only one.
The snarky one was the next to speak.
“What? Wait, Hijikata, are you sure about this? This kid saw - well - everything. That can’t be good.”
As he spoke to the man he had called Hijikata, his eyes narrowed at me. The man called Hijikata glanced at me as well but with a frown instead. But then he quickly averted his eyes back to his companion.
“Shut it! If you keep that up, you know what we’ll have to do.”
...I wasn’t quite sure what they meant, but it was quite clear that what I’d seen was something they wished to keep hidden. Should I slip up or say anything about this to anyone it would no doubt be the end for me.
Still, the more they said, the more I understood, despite the fact that none of us wanted such a thing.
“I really think it’s going to come back to bite us in the ass if we let this kid go.”
The way the snarky one had looked at me as he spoke, made me feel as though he had read my mind. Though, I was seriously becoming fed up with his attitude and his obvious dislike of me.
However, perhaps it would be best to not think of that which I was not supposed to think of.
The man named Hijikata scowled at his companion as though he found it hard to believe anyone could be so cruel. Though it was clear that he knew all too well just how cruel people could be.
“So we should just kill people so they don’t bother us later?! No. I’ll decide what we’re going to do with this kid when we get back.”
Saito, who had been previously silent, finally spoke.
“I agree with the commander. If we remain here we are likely to be seen. Again.”
He spoke with quiet confidence. He then glanced around, possibly looking for other witnesses. Finally, he glanced down at the creature he’d killed, almost as though he’d forgotten the whole ordeal.
What was wrong with these people?! Three men were just murdered, followed by three more. Granted three of them had been complete dirt bags and the other three were, well, I’m not quite sure what the were, but still!! The point of the matter was that there were now six corpses all around us on the ground and these three men were acting like this was some kind of everyday occurrence!
“If they have this sort of reaction to blood, then they don’t seem like they’ll be all that practical.”
Now what were they babbling about? Blood? Reaction? What the heck was I getting myself into?!
Hijikata gave a heavy sigh before saying, “...Damn! I hadn’t thought they’d gotten this bad.”
He peered down at the corpse, his face an emotionless mask. When he looked back up at his companions, however, his eyes narrowed.
“As for you two, drop the ‘Hijikata’ and ‘commander’ stuff. We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile.”
The snarky one seemed to think this was the mist ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.
“What?! You cannot be serious... You don’t think our blues are a bit of a giveaway already?”
He was right, though... even I had heard stories about a gang of cruel men in blue coats who cut people down in the streets.
But-
“No...no! Don’t you dare start thinking about any of this again...!”
I just wanted to go and continue with my search for my father but I also knew that as soon as I turned my back on them I would most likely be killed by them. My mind swirled with thoughts and worries. I was being drawn into their world...
“What shall we do with the bodies then? There doesn’t appear to be any physical signs, but...”
Hijikata glanced at Saito then to the bodies before responding.
“Just take their blues. Yamazaki can deal with the rest.”
Saito gave an almost imperceptible frown.
“As you wish.”
The third and still nameless one looked down at the corpses; a smile that I could not read swept across his lips.
“Another man cut down in the streets, huh? Doing a great job, aren’t we?”
He gave a derisive bark of laughter. I wanted to vomit, again. Though the cause was no longer the blood of the creatures, but my disgust with this-this-this pig of a man!
“What the hell is wrong with you?! Three men were killed tonight by those things and-and all you can do is compliment their handiwork?!”
Well, at least that’s what I had wanted to say, and was just about to when-
“So long as we keep our mouths shut, I don’t think anyone should connect us with this.”
Hijikata looked directly at me as he spoke, and I got the distinct feeling that his words were meant for me and not his companions.
I knew it was common for people to be murdered in Kyoto. It was a dangerous city after all. But to see it happen to not just one but six people? That was something else entirely. If death was such an easy thing in Kyoto, I thought, then the city itself must surely be mad.
The man’s whose name I had yet to learn suddenly turned to me, his arms crossed and a smirk gracing his lips.
“Ah, yes... We did save you did we not? Aren’t going to thank us?”
I walked straight up to him and placed a daring hand on my hip and yes I did dare to look him straight in the eyes.
“You expect me to thank you?! I don’t think so.”
I smirked at him as he blinked several times, clearly in a state of confusion.
I then veered past him and up to the person whom had actually done the saving, whether it had been intentional or not, and then bowed to them.
“Thank you, kind sir, for saving me,” I spoke in a way I hoped would convey sincerity.
I glanced up at him tentatively. The man called Saito showed some confusion of his own. His eyes were wide and he had an expression I couldn’t quite place. I then glanced at Hijikata who looked as though he’d taken a bite of something sour.
...
Feeling suddenly stupid, I found myself wondering if I had done something wrong.
...
Well, hell...!
Trying desperately to think of something, anything to say, I turned back to Saito.
“I know it probably completely inappropriate to say, considering,” I glanced down at the victims of the earlier nightmare, before returning my gaze back to Saito and the other two, “But whether it was intentional or not, you all did save me, so I-!”
I narrowed my eyes as that night continued to surprise and annoy me. Saito and Hijikata were both looking pointedly at anything but me, and the third man was shaking with laughter.
...
“Ha! Oh man... My apologies but you are just too much!”
He then broke out into laughter...again. So much so in fact he was forced to wipe a few tears from his eyes as he was straightening up.
When he was finally done being a jerk and could speak in a calmer voice, “Well, you’re welcome. I’m Okita Souji. Nice to see a kid who knows how to be polite.”
...
I had no response for that, not a one. He just got done laughing at me like some kind of psychotic jackal, and now his two companions were looking at us in what I could only hope was complete and utter embarrassment with him.
Against my better judgment I found myself bowing a second time, this time to Okita.
“Thank you for helping me...”
Not sure what else to say or do I bowed one last time before looking down at my shoes as though they were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Okita?”
Hijikata narrowed his eyes as he spoke in a low voice.
Saito then turned to him, an unreadable gleam in his eyes.
“Commander, I understand your concerns, but we must move.”
Hijikata nodded in agreement. Whatever mirth I may have inspired was now clearly gone.
The man who had called himself Okita grabbed hold of my wrist, gave me a smile, and began to lead me down the street. His grip was a touch too tight to be friendly; his fingers like iron cables around my wrist. He may have appeared to have been unruffled by my earlier behavior, but clearly I had struck a nerve. Yep. There was no question about my current situation. If I ran, I would die, though not without taking at least two of them down with me.
Even if I did exactly as I was told, my life was still in the hands of these strange men, one of which might actually be insane and the other two, well, I suppose I could tolerate them for a little while.
I set my jaw and stood up as straight as I could. Wouldn’t want them to think that I was some kind of puppet that they could just pull along by a string. And then I wanted to kick myself as I realized that that was sadly what I had temporarily become. My eyes met those of Saito as he looked up from the blood-stained coats he had folded in his arms.
“It would be best if you prepared yourself for the worst. I doubt that this will end well for you.”
His words were like a dagger in my stomach. I could feel anger and hurt start to boil inside me again as I looked him square in the eyes.
“Wait! So you saved me just so you could condemn me later?!”
If my words had bothered him at all, he hid it well. He said nothing as he turned back around and continued down the street. Okita chuckled to himself as he continued to lead me through the silent night.
“I’m so glad my turmoil amuses you.”
As I spoke to him I struggled to have my wrist released from his hand only to gave him tighten his grip.
I sighed and gave up and allowed him to continue through the darkness.
What was going to happen to me?
Well, hell, I’m going to die aren’t I?
As we walked through the cold Kyoto night, I felt horror begin to crawl its way up my spine, once again. The cause of my fear wasn’t the gruesome end that almost certainly awaited me, but something else entirely. I’d spoken to these men, and watched them speak to one another, not feet away from corpses still soaked in blood. That I had done such a thing terrified me in an altogether different way.
Perhaps, I thought, this is what it is to go mad.
