The Beehive Cult

“And we’re back! Today we have guest speaker Rachel Green-“

“She’s your cousin. Just tell them we have a guest speaker and it’s your cousin.”

“Pit, why don’t you shut the-” Tyler started.

“Guys! Come on. If you guys want people to listen to your radio station, you have to act professional.” Rachel said. With twenty listeners a day and the sum of Tyler’s credit money spent on the needed equipment, gaining more listeners is his only way out of his mother’s basement.

“Alright alright. Whatever. Jeez man. Welcome back to So Fresh FM. Today we have the high and mighty guest speaker Rachel Green.” Pit said.

“It’s Fresh FM.” Tyler corrected.

“What?”

“You said welcome back to So Fresh FM. It’s just Fresh FM.”

“You think I don’t know what I said?”

“Boys! God Damn it. Let’s focus on what we’re here to talk about. I have Calculus in an hour from now.” Rachel yelled.

“You and I both know you ain’t passin’ that class,” Pit hunched over the table, huffed a laugh and expected Tyler to laugh with him. He didn’t. Rachel puckered her lips.

“She actually got a C on her last test. And if she gets a B on her next one, she’ll have enough to pass the class,” Tyler announced.

“Das right,” Rachel nodded her head and snapped her fingers in from of Pit’s face. And after a moment of gloating. “So anyway, if you guys are still listening after all their dumb ass comments about my future not being brighter than sun’s, which it will be, I’ll have you know. Today we are here to talk about what happened to that crazy ass bitch Mary Margaret Turner. Tyler, why don’t you recap what happened before we discuss?”

“Of course, thank you Ms. Green,” Tyler said, trying to sound more professional over the radio. “So, breaking news this morning. The mother known for raising her children in a cult and killing them has passed away this morning. As we all know, she was found guilty of Capital Murder two months ago for killing her children last July. She was awaiting trial for her sentence, it was heavily predicted that she would be getting the death penalty-”

“As she should have gotten’.” Rachel interrupted. She hated Mary Margaret Turner with every ounce of blood in her body.

“We’ll discuss opinions in a minute.” Tyler said.

“Can I tell the rest?” Pit asked. He usually doesn’t ask. He just starts speaking. Tyler let him have the honors of telling the rest of the news, the juicy part too, just because he didn’t interrupt him this time.

“Okay, so what happened now, happened earlier this morning. It’s so crazy. I can’t even wrap my head around it. Okay, so. This crazy ass baby killer went into labor this morning. Apparently, she gave birth while in solitary confinement without any help. And then, guess what happened?”

“Did she kill the baby? I swear if that’s what this news is about-“ Rachel said.

“No, no, no. Nothing like that. Well, I guess I can’t say nothing like that,” Pit started. “So, after she gives birth, she has nothing to cut the umbilical cord with, right? So, this baby is crying and crying and crying. And no one came to help her. So, she wraps her baby up in a blanket, the only one she has. And she places the baby down on the floor. He’s wiggling around, crying, confused. And he’s still attached to her, okay? Cause like the cord is inside her and she has to have a doctor take out the placenta or some shit like that and its still attached to him because she didn’t have any sharp objects to cut his umbilical cord with.” A moment of silence.

“Okay, I get it. The baby was still attached to Mary. Then what?” Rachel asked. Tyler’s eyes grew wide. He loved the news. It was just so juicy. The juiciest story he got intel on at the same time as everyone else. Could this be his big break? He hoped so.

“So, with the baby still attached to her with this like biological rope, she gets up and faces the wall. Like she’s in trouble and got placed in the corner or some shit, okay? And then she starts banging her head against the wall. The wall is concrete I think too, so a hard wall. A really hard wall. And then she just kept smashing her head against the wall until she died. The officers finally checked on her hours after it happened.” Pit said. Rachels winced and took a deep breath to avoid nausea.

“Is the baby okay?” she asked.

“Yes, the baby is fine. Mr.Turner’s sister was going to adopt the baby anyway. So, the baby went in her custody without any problems today. So, the baby’s fine. But jesus. That bitch is cray-cray.” He stretched out the first ‘cray’ and shortened the second.

“How did no one check on her? Did they not hear the baby crying?” Rachel asked.

“This is prison, Rachel. Shit, they might have put her in solitary confinement because she went into labor.” Tyler explained.

“That’s so disgusting. I mean, Mary, sure, She deserved it. She killed nine of her children. She deserves to go straight to hell. But the baby? How could you let a baby come into this world without medical care? And to leave him alone with that baby killer? The officers should be ashamed of themselves.” Rachel said.

“I’m sure the officers will be thoroughly questioned.” Tyler said.

“But, enough baby talk. Can we just talk about the way she died for a second? She slammed her face into a concrete wall enough times to kill herself. I mean, come on. One hit, I get. I’d try to smash my face if I had to give birth in prison too. But, smashing your face and then getting up and doing it again and again until you die? That’s fucking crazy.” Pit said.

“I can’t wait till we get the coroner’s report on that one.” Rachel said.

“Yeah, me too. What if she like broke her nose and then kept going? Ugh, gross.”

“Awe, did the baby have blood on him from her killing herself?” Rachel asked with sympathy.

“I’m pretty sure babies come out bloody. So, he would have had blood on him regardless.” Tyler informed.

“Oh, yeah, Das true.”

“I just keep imagining how many times she would have had to have been smashing herself to actually die from this. Like, did this take her five minutes? Or did it take the whole three hours?”

“Ohhh. I didn’t think about that! Imagine it taking the whole three hours. Bleh! So much blood and… I can’t even think about that. Next topic.” Rachel squirmed.

“Okay, we’re going to lighten the mood real quick with some of the newest, freshest beats. You’re listening to Fresh FM, bringing you the freshest news and the freshest music. Up next is the song Lil’ Sugar Baby by Coco Rio. Catch you on the flip side!” Tyler said. He cued up the song and silenced their microphones. He gave Pit and Rachel a high five. Rachel told them they ruined her morning with that nasty ass news. Then headed to calculus as if it never happened at all.