A Ritual, for the World as a Stage
Hey. Do you want to upgrade your acting career? You want to get more of those "encores?" I have just the ritual for you.
First, you need a theatre with a wooden stage. Any other type won't work, because the spirits of the playwrights won't be able to receive your offering.
Next, acquire a bottle of strong liquor. The alcohol must be between 50 and 150 proof- any others and you will automatically fail the ritual.
Also, you will need an object that represents some play- for example, a skull for Hamlet or a broom for Wicked. I'd recommend a glass vial of tetrodotoxin for Romeo and Juliet, and I'll explain why later.
On the night after production of the play you are representing, bring the required items, and a prop dagger for afterward, to see for a sign. Step onto the center of the stage, and repeat "Macbeth" five times. The playwrights will notice it, and now you will be staking both your acting career and the fortune of the theatre. But you don't care, do you? You just want to improve your acting and are too much of a thrill-seeker for this to deter you.
You will now have to act fast, for in exactly 66.6 seconds, it will be too late, and the ritual will fail, resulting in a fatal curse should you ever step onstage again. Drink the booze, and spill some of it down your chin so that it touches the stage. The weaker the alcohol, the more you have to spill, so choose strong alcohol, possibly a vodka, to appease the playwrights more easily.
Now, destroy the object which you brought with you while saying the name of the play it represents. That's why a glass vial of poison is recommended here- it can be smashed easily.
The ritual is complete after destroying the proxy for a play, but there's one more thing. Stab your left hand with the prop dagger to know the reaction of the authorial spirits. Should they decide that you failed the ritual, the prop dagger will miss your hand and hit the stage. If that happens, never act again, for if you do, you will die gruesomely. If the dagger hits your hand and fails to retract, you have succeeded, and have the acting prowess you seek, just not the time to use it. If the dagger retracts, you have not only the blessing of the playwrights but infinite time in which to use it. You will always finish acting before the time allotted ends, no matter how many times you must encore.
What is the result of this ritual? Well, if success occurs, you will always act perfectly if needs be for any sort of theatrical occurrence. However, it comes at a cost. If anyone asks for a repeat performance, and they probably will, you must do so. If you fail to improvise a second act- and you can, you just need to accept- you will die, immediately, in a way your sacrifice could kill you.
Pray you were granted infinite time.
