What is your opinion?
Well written with a compelling start
"The opening sets a very strong tone for the rest of the story. The dialogue mostly flowed well for the most part and I enjoyed the character interactions. You have a good sense for story telling and progression. I only marked off for some typos and misplaced words, though none of them were enough to ruin my enjoyment of the story. With some minor editing this could be really great."
Great start!
"Hi Erica, I took a read at your story and it looks interesting. Your sentences lack some words that could enhance the sentence, or complete the sentence. Why don't you go through your story and read it aloud. You'll find a lot of errors! And your dialogue, throughout Chapter 1, the dialogue was constantly being interrupted by paragraph length descriptions and it's rather annoying reading a piece like that. Try to cut down interruptions. It does not mean cut down on the descriptions. Great story so far. Is this a first draft?"
