Great potential, but...

"There are so many things to like about this story but, I think it needs a lot of work yet. It's seems to be an original concept, with lots of action and suspense. And on a personal note, I was quick in noticing that one of the main character's name (Liam) is lifted straight out of my "Tattooed trails" story. Would be nice if you can take a minute to look at it. However, punctuation, spell-check is required, I sometimes get the feeling as if I'm reading a story written by someone whose English is a second language. My suggestion is: Run the script through a text-to-speech software while following along on the script. this way you gets to hear and pick up irregular speech pattern and glitches. one final thing, which may not be an issue at all is: I noticed that the chapter seemed a bit long, inkitt does have something to say about this in their guideline, check it out. Over-all, I love what I've seen of the story so far, looking forward for the finish product."