Destined

“The thing about love is that it is messy and complicated. You put your trust and your everything into another person. You give that person complete power to utterly destroy every fiber of your soul.”

The sun illuminated the sky as it slowly made the climb over the horizon. I sat watching as the orange and red colors danced across the sky; my mind lost in thought the same way I often did. Memories flashed through my head of him.

It was a cool morning, the sun shined just a little; warming the earth just enough to thaw the frost that had coated everything in its path the night before. It was that same warming sun that caused me to stir and my eyes to spring open. I laid there for a moment, the fog slowly diminishing from my mind. Then I felt his warm arm around my waist, his breath against my skin. A smile spread across my face and my fingers touched my lips as I recalled the events of the night before. I loved this man, with every breath I took. He was a part of me.

“Good morning my love.” he whispered in my ear before placing a kiss on my jaw. “How did you sleep?”

I rolled to face him and was met with a sly proud smile on his face. “I slept better then I have in a long time.” I shyly said.

“No regrets?” He quizzed.

“No regrets, I will never have any regrets with you.”

He pushed me further into the mattress as his lips claimed mine. His hands wandered to my waist, squeezing a little as he pulled me closer.

The ringing of my phone made me jump. “Hey, mama. How are you?” I asked a smile spreading across my face.

“I’m not bothering you at work, am I?” she asked

“No, I actually haven’t left yet. What time is it?”

“Almost 9. Shouldn’t you be in the office?”

“Shit! Yeah, I should have been there an hour ago. I will call in and just work from home today.” I replied making a mental note to call my boss as soon as I got off the phone. “What’s up ma?” trying to get to the point without being too pushy. We talked daily but never on the phone, it was always through text or email. So, the fact that she was calling made me wonder.

“I’ll be in town in a couple of weeks. I just wanted to make sure you cleared a day in your busy schedule to maybe go for lunch with your mother.” She said.

“Yes, mom. I will go to lunch with you. You let me know when you are getting in, and I will be there to meet you.” I chuckled through the phone.

“I would love that sweetie. I have missed you a lot.”

“I have missed you too, mama. I look forward to seeing you. But I gotta let you go because I have to call my boss before I lose my job. I will see you soon. I love you.”

“I love you too, pumpkin. Talk soon.” Then all I heard was dial tone. Now to deal with work and hope I don’t get fired. It’s a good thing I bring my assignments home with me, so on days like this, I can just work from the comfort of my couch.

“Hello, Everett Publishing this is Anna how may I help you?” Came a familiar voice over the line.

“Anna, It’s Olivia. Has Mr. Marks made it into the office yet?”

“Olivia! Where are you?”

“I have somethings I have to take care of today and I am going to work out of office. Will you please let Mr. Marks know as soon as he gets in?” I asked

“I will do that. You have a good day and we will see you tomorrow.” She chimed back in her kind voice.

“Thank you, Anna.” I answered before hanging up the phone.

Now time to gather all the clients writing and head for some coffee. I thought to myself as I shuffled to my feet and headed to get dressed. Twenty minutes later I headed out the door closing it behind me. Must jump-start this foggy mess that is my brain, so I can get some work done. I have a promotion to push for.

I was greeted with happy smiles, and warm ‘good mornings’ as I headed into the coffee shop I stopped at almost daily.

“Good morning. Your usual?” A petite, brunette behind the counter said as she pulled a plastic coffee cup and started making my drink.

“Thank you. That would be great. It’s for here today.” I quipped picking a table by the window and setting my folders down.

I was working on my third manuscript, and my fourth cup of joe, I hadn’t realized how focused I was until the ringing of my phone made me jump clean out of my skin.

“Hey, Jessie. What’s going on?”

“It’s going alright. It’s been a long week was hoping maybe you would be up for going out with me tonight? Kind of like a girl’s night out. A few drinks, little dancing. Just you and me. What do you say?” She asked. I could hear the plea in her voice.

“You know I could really use that. I have a couple of things I have to finish up beforehand, I will also need to text Eric and let him know what is going on. Meet you at our usual place around eight?”

“Sounds good to me! I will see you at eight girly. Bye!” Jessie said the excitement in her tone.

“Love you, bye.” I said laughing silently to myself as I hung up my cell phone.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, I was really looking forward to my night out with Jessie. She was wild, kept me sane, on my feet when things fell apart. I could hear my phone in my pocket as I fumbled for the keys to my door. I dropped all my work on the coffee table, scooping my phone up opening my messages.

One new message: Eric

Hey love, just wanted to see how your day went at work. If you’re not busy tonight maybe we can get together later for a movie or something. Let me know as soon as you can.

Walking to the bathroom, I send a quick reply to Eric. I have to get ready fast and meet with Jessie. I turned on the water for the shower and stepped in. The hot water that hit my body was astonishing as it ran down my back to the shower floor.

I finished my shower quickly, dressing even quicker. I paused in front of the mirror to inspect the job I had done before heading out the door. My long chocolate brown hair was pulled up into a tight bun except for a few loose strands that had fallen out and laid against my neck. My amber eyes popped against the makeup I had chosen and my lips which were coated with a dark red lipstick finishing everything off. I was impressed with myself and the job I had done, but more importantly, I was ready to have some fun and party it out tonight.

About an hour and a half later I crossed the doorway into Joey’s bar. I was greeted by the familiar noise of loud music, and even louder voices as everyone talked, laughed, danced and just let loose. I spotted Jessie right away standing at the bar, talking to the bartender. I slowly made my way through the mass of people to her side.

“Hey, Adam.” I greeted the bartender.

“Hello, Olivia. Nice to see you tonight. I am guessing you are here to keep an eye on this one. Make sure she doesn’t get into trouble or too out of hand?” Adam replied with a smile, a smile that made his eyes twinkle as he returned his attention to Jessie.

I could tell right away where his mind had wandered to just by the look in his eye. Jessie stood beside me all her attention on Adam with a mischievous grin on her face. At about five four she was a short little thing, her long auburn hair flowed around her shoulders and traveled down her body an invitation for wandering eyes. Her caramel brown eyes danced around in pure excitement and anticipation for what the night might hold for her.

“I always have to look out for this one.” I said giving her a small nudge with my elbow, drawing her attention to the fact that I was actually there beside her.

A big grin spread across her face. “There you are. Finally! I was wondering if you were ever going to show. Though with Adam here, I guess I was okay either way.” She said with a quick wink in his direction.

“Ha. Ha. I love you too. Adam, I’ll have whatever she is drinking please.”

Turning I felt the cold of counter against my arms as I leaned against it, my eyes scanning the room. There were groups of people out on the dance floor. Some dancing so close that you couldn’t tell where one person ended, and the other person began. There were couples standing together; talking, holding each other, laughing between themselves and just lost in the moment with each other to remember that they were in a room full of people.

Upon that small moment of seeing them, I had this ping of envy, and longing grab hold, sucking the air from me. I had that once, I will never experience those kinds of moments again. Those moments that take your breath away and cause your breath to quicken at the same time.

I always felt bad when those thoughts crossed my mind. I have a good man, he was kind, loving, understanding and he would do whatever he could for me, but that once in lifetime love just wasn’t there.

“Olivia…. OLIVIA! Hello!?”

Jessie’s voice pulled me back to reality. “Sorry, what were you saying?” I asked

“Where did you go?” She questioned her eyes searching mine. Without saying a word, she knew I was thinking about him. Longing for him. “Olivia, you can’t keep holding on to L…”

“Don’t say his name, please. It will just make it that much harder.” I whispered pivoting on my feet, burying my nose in my drink.

“Fine. What about Eric?”

“Eric is great. Really. It’s just; not the same.”

“You gotta let it go Liv. Its been what four years now. You have to let him go.”

“Five. But who’s counting. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay. How is work going?” Jessie asked still watching me closely as if I would break any second. See that’s the thing about knowing someone for so long. They know you so well that you just can’t hide anything.

“It’s going well. I have been pushing for that promotion. Should hopefully have an answer soon. You?”

“It’s great! I just started a new line of clothes. I am excited to get them released. You will have to come by the shop and take a look, you might even like them.” Jessie beamed with pride. I was proud of her too.

The rest of the night was a blast. We drank and danced. Laughed and joked back and forth. It was refreshing to get out and actually have some fun for once. At the final chord of the upbeat pop song we had been dancing to ended; another song began, slower this time.

My breath caught in my throat; well shit. I hurried through the couples that were dancing on the floor together, bumping into some and barely missing others. There was but one destination in mind. I hit the bar and ordered a round of drinks. No sooner did they hit the table; I downed them and ordered more. I finished the last one and placed it on the counter prepared to order a few more for my sorrows when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

The air around me changed. It became like an electric current pulling me in. A low male voice spoke behind me and my whole world turned upside down.

“Well, hello Kitten.”

That wasn’t a name I had heard in a long time. And now, now I wanted to yell at the person who had called me that. But instead, I stood there frozen. In confusion, sadness, and lastly, anger. I spun around and came face to face with the man that was responsible for every tear I had shed the last five years. I couldn’t form any words, I stood there in shock. Why? Why was he here? I had struggled to get past all that had happened and for what? For him to waltz up here as if nothing had changed!

I looked his six foot frame up and down. He wore a dark pair of blue jeans, a button up that wasn’t buttoned all the way showing off a little bit of his well-toned chest, the muscles in his arm flexed subconsciously like they were showing off. My eyes continued to climb his body. I finally came to rest on his face. His black hair was just long enough to have a mind of its own sticking upright in the front yet still managing to look good. I looked him in the eyes; those intense emerald green eyes that never missed a thing. The sly grin on his face gave him, away; he knew exactly what I was doing. Heat rose in my cheeks and flutters danced in my stomach, my heart skipping a beat. Why couldn’t I have a better poker face? I was angry and hurt. I wanted to stay angry and hurt.

He hadn’t changed much. Except the five o’clock shadow. It gave him a rough around the edges kind of look. “You don’t have to be embarrassed for staring Kitten.” He chuckled with a devilish grin on his face.

“W... What are you doing here Luke?” I asked anger taking hold again.

“I was having a drink. Saw you sitting over here alone, thought I would come over. What’s the matter Kitten, aren’t you happy to see me?”

My blood boiled. Happy to see him. “You have GOT to be kidding me. Seriously! First, don’t call me that. You lost that right years ago. Second, you pop up out of the blue after five years! Five years! And you expect me to be happy to see you? How about confused as hell, pissed… pissed would cover it as well.” I yelled stepping closer to him, trying to make myself bigger then my short frame was. He had hurt me. He had shattered every part of me.

As if she could sense my anxiety Jessie walked up behind us. She was taking in the scene in front of her. Her eyes wide in shock as they moved between the two of us. She looked at me silently asking me if I needed something. I just returned her stare. Really unsure of what to do.

With a quick nod of understanding, Jessie closed the distance between us. “Luke, quite the surprise to see you. What are you doing here?” her voice had a slightly dangerous tone to it and I could tell that she was annoyed. All traces of excitement and joy that she had had most the night gone.

“Wow, such a warm welcome Jess. Good to see you too.” Luke replied never taking his eyes off me. “Care to dance with me Liv?” He leaned closer his breath brushing against my skin, goosebumps rising across my body, as he spoke in my ear. He was deflecting the question.

Jessie cocked her head in a questioning look. I couldn’t help myself, I didn’t trust him, and I couldn’t stand him I was so mad, but I just couldn’t stop myself or the way that I responded to him. I had placed my trust in him before it wasn’t something I wanted to do again. But the thought of being in his arms once more even for a moment, how could I turn that down. I slowly nodded my head and followed him to the dance floor.

He placed one hand on my waist closing the small gap between us. The other ran inch by inch to my lower back. My skin burned everywhere his hands had touched, my body responding automatically. “This is our song.” He whispered against my hair. Everything else fell away, his touch, our movements to the music it was all I could focus on. The feelings I got from being near him, his voice, his touch it was something I had never felt with anyone else. It was electric, pure, addicting.

“What do you want?” I inquired

“I came back for work.” He answered casually

“Oh,” disappointment drenched my words.

“Not what you were hoping kitten?”

“No, not at all. Why?”

“I know you missed me.” It wasn’t a question it was a statement. His cocky attitude coming out. “It’s OK you don’t have to deny it. I can feel it, see it in your eyes.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I growled pushing away from him. This was a mistake I knew it would be. That was when I saw Eric out of the corner of my eye. He was standing at the bar beside Jessie staring off at the dance floor, at me, in confusion. Guilt grew with every breath I took until my breath was coming fast everything starting to spin.

“I don’t know what you want from me, but I can’t do this.” I said putting my hands in the air in an effort to create a wall between us. I was attempting to walk away when he lightly grabbed my hand making me stop. I stood there for only a second contemplating what to say next when I felt him lean in and speak right against the back of my neck. I shivered in reply. “There is one more thing I want.” He rumbled every inch of him seeping with male authority.

“W… What’s that?” I stuttered, hearing nothing but the increase in my heart.

“You.”