Fury Duty

It’s still hard to believe that the piece of paper which would seal my destiny appeared in my mailbox only two weeks ago. But appear it did, exactly one year after the last one. Last year, it was a mundane civil case, and I was excused, with the thanks of the court. However, this year would be different.

Seeing that unholy directive plastered across the top of the page brought on that sense of doom that haunts many.

JURY SUMMONS - Your service is required as a prospective juror by the Court …

I mean, everyone hates jury duty. Don’t they?

Well, actually, maybe not. Actually, some seem to get off determining some poor slob’s fate. I just know I wanted no part of it.

I read the rest of the summons to find the date to report. Although I shouldn’t have expected anything different, I was still alarmed to see that I had been given only one week’s notice. I remember Dad telling me that, in the old days, notices were sent two or three months prior to allow the prospective juror to work it out with his employer, or make a plea to be excused due to hardship, that type of thing.

Now, in this era of swift and speedy justice, no such excuses are heard or tolerated. Your boss doesn’t like it? Too bad. It’s going to cause you great inconvenience? Not our problem. You have a moral objection? Tough titty. Buck up, little camper.

Of course, the short notice was ominous and foretelling of something I suspected would now catch up to me. But I wasn’t completely prepared to accept that probability upon my initial receipt of the summons.

Technically, there was nothing to stop me from going to the court and trying to appeal to the clerk’s mercy anyway. But that would mean burning extra gas (more precious than gold these days, rationed carefully, and most likely mere months from being made illegal). Alternatively, I could risk my life taking public transportation. This, of course, was the government’s preferred mode of getting from Point A to B, but that didn’t take into account the dangers of riding a bus or train.

I decided against both options, and not just because of shelling out more bucks for fuel, or risking life and limb if I was mugged. No, although there’s no law yet against trying to get out of jury duty, misfortune often comes to those who protest performing their so-called civic duty. Even if you aren’t a law breaker, a troublemaker could be dealt with as well. More subtly, to be sure, but often more severely.

I don’t mind admitting to you now, I was nervous. Petrified, in fact. My anxiety only intensified over the next week until the day came to report.

As you know, a recently reported tragedy in my life made me the perfect candidate to serve on a jury. Especially in a certain capacity.

Like everyone else, I’d been following the Simmons murder investigation, which was nearing its trial date. Although unannounced, which was standard practice to bolster ratings for the big day, it was commonly believed the trial would be conducted any day now. My guess was that it would be conducted in exactly one week. The date I was ordered to report for duty.

Would I be selected as a juror on that case? It seemed likely, given my family history. Nevertheless, I still held out hope that I would be excused from another simple civil suit and would be done in time to enjoy mid-morning latte at Starbucks.

No such luck.