Regret
"One day if I vanish into thin air taking away all memories of us will you still love me?" she asked years back.
“I can never stop loving you Ria!” I answered her today.
That day to irk her ”I will thank my stars if that day ever comes " I received repeated smacks which pained yet I laughed looking at her angry face.
She gave up finally walking towards cliff as her hairs swayed with wind looking at sun rising from the horizon.
The orange hue with silver line made me take deep breath but breath caught in my throat to see her under the first ray of sun.
The wind hustled trees showering the flowers on us soon the sun spread light rescuing us from cold.
I walked towards her drawing her closer and nestled her to side of my body.
"Well such day can never come" I spoke in joking tone ”Remember we are married and bound for forever you have no rights to vanish" she ignored me to beauty of nature.
What if such day comes? I had asked myself ”Even thinking of such day makes me feel worse than death Ria" my voice might have given away the vulnerability I felt that she turned towards me hugged me.
"You are my rock Ria who guides me support me holds me when I fall" her arms tightened to console me that day "a day is incomplete without you"
But today she isn’t there to console guide and complete me yet I am living without her feeling same breeze watching same sun rise and showered by same flowers.
I feel like breaking myself knowing I am still living after facing that one day she described and what makes it worse is she didn’t take her memories like she told
And not a day goes by without that day repeatedly flashing in my mind making me regret.
We had just celebrated our second anniversary laughing singing with alcohol in our blood dancing like crazy as if it was our last day.
It indeed was our last day when she asked ”let’s go to our place" yes the same place I am standing now same place she asked that question.
My blurred vision perplexed mind rapid heart beat uncontrollable hands were not helping but I had to do something as it wasn’t just me in car.
I gritted my teeth trying to turned car other side but it turned out be wrong turn due to slip jerking us both
I turned towards her for a second as her head hit the back seat harder “I am sorry Ria I got wrong turn everything will be fine”
I spoke trying to get a grip but in fraction of seconds the windshield were shattered throwing both of us out of seat as car was thrown to other side of road
Pain was unbearable as I tried to breath but what broke me was her drenched with blood with closed eyes and pained face and that day to stop hurting I closed my eyes only to wake up after was she vanished.
And today it is no longer was our place as she isn’t present!
If had noticed Don’tdrinkanddrivemaybe same day before five years might not have happened but I was too drunk to notice one losing her to an road accident.
Why? Why her? Why not me? Did I kill her? Why did she leave me?
Many questions but no answers as that day already passed taking away the best thing of my life.
A lone tear dropped as Diya hugged my waist resting her head on my lap watching sunrise I watched with her mother whom she lost when she was just three months.
Today I smile through my pain only for my daughter who reminds me love though not a day goes by without regret
