Trallia

"Obviously not a finished story, BUT it was good. I do believe you should add some more detail. Make the chapters a page longer or so.. Not an abundance but a bit more imagery would do nicely. The plot of the story is interesting and has made me intrigued to find out more. Punctuation is so/so. Grammar is okay. Don’t use so many “and’s” you do not want run on sentences! Off to a good start. 👍"