Prologue: Un[clean] Hands
I had so much blood on my hands...
To the point, where I couldn’t wipe it clean.
So, I dived in deep...
Into the belly of the beast, hands still bloody.
Palms sweaty, caused by the anxiety.
Heart thumping from my futile attempts.
Knees buckling with the promise of dark prospects ahead.
I can never be clean again.
I lather myself, in the dirt and grime instead.
I accept these blood soaked palms...
Those that have, now become stains...
I accept what I have done.
No escape.
May 26th 2019
St Goodwill Hospital
Director’s Office
“Thank you, for considering me for the position.” My smile is smooth, and easy.
*Hah!* “Consider you? you know as well as I do. That the position is yours.”
“Besides, when your application reached my desk. I called off all other applicants. So no one else is applying really.”
*Heh* “Now, Director. If I didn’t know any better. I’d say you were showing favouritism.” My tone is light and teasing, while I send him a pointed look.
*Hah!* “For you? always. How could I not? You know, you’ve always been like a daughter to me.”
My playful smile, smooths over into a genuine grin.
“And, you know I’ve always considered you family, Uncle Huxley.”
*Scoff* “I would hope so, otherwise I would have to retract my previous statement.” A haughty look accompanies his words.
*Heh* I shake my head from side to side.
“Speaking of family, how’s Ansley?”
He sends me a secretive smile “Ohhh don’t you worry about him. I’m sure you’ll find out, soon enough.”
I raise a brow, saying that I’m a little skeptical. Would be an understatement.
“Well, that’s not cryptic at all.”
Director Styles sits there, face all smug and all knowing. Flicking the side of his nose, with his index finger. A sign that he refuses to spill the beans.
Oooookay, moving on.
“And, Tennyson? how is he?”
“Or is that classified information too?”
*Hah!* “Oh, that boy?! The usual. He doesn’t go to parties, rarely socializes with anyone. I don’t think he even knows what a girl is. He’s always cooped up in his room, crunching numbers, jutting down big calculations. Muttering to himself, all of that mumbo jumbo math staff. *Sigh* I don’t know how he does it.”
Director Styles lowers his voice. Covering the side of his mouth with one hand. “He does my taxes, now. Damn good at it too, saves me and this hospital a lot of money. You should ask him to do yours.”
*Heh* “I might just do that.”
I should’ve guessed. Tennyson’s entering his last year of high school. He aspires to be a top class accountant, and I for one think he’ll be a damn good one. He’s forever been regarded as a math wiz. Always coming to save the day, with a well thought out plan. *Heh* ‘Mathematics was the beginning...and will be the end of us all’ he used to say.
“I’m glad. He’s always had a good head on his shoulders.”
Uncle Huxley puffs out his chest with pride “Yep, that’s my boy. Big brain, boring but brilliant.”
*Heh* “And, last but not least. The apple of your eye? How is little Sav nav.”
He snorts, at the old nickname “Oh, that brat?” He waves his hand dismissively.
“She runs off to college, now she thinks she’s big wig on campus. Party here, party there. A real life sorority Barbie doll, that one.” He rants and raves. But, fondness fills his tone.
“Barely sees her old man now.” A hint of sadness, and childish resentment etched in his words.
Now I’m sure that’s not true, Savannah probably calls him every week. Most likely visits every holiday, and then some. She’s a bit of a daddy’s girl, her and her father are quite attached. And, she adores their family home.
She’s very big on friendship and family. It’s everything to her, despite her rich girl ways. Savannah is a real sweetheart.
“I’m sure she means to call, more often.” I smile, watching the older man sulk. Arms crossed, lip jutting out ever so slightly,
“Yeah, yeah.” He waves me off. Knowing that he’s blowing, the whole situation out of proportion.
..............................................................................................
“She misses you, you know...we all do.” My heart fills with warmth, at his words. Savannah was like the little sister I never had. Always running after me when we were kids. And, the Styles’ have always been like a second family to me.
.........Overlapping, the love of my own.
“I miss her too...all of you” I wonder how much she’s grown, how everyone’s doing.
It’s been so long...
Director Huxley looks me in the eye.
Leaning forward, he speaks.
“We’re not the only ones...” My smile dwindles.
................................................................
Only to be replaced, with one full of professionalism.
“Thank you, for the position director.” I change the subject, signalling the end of this conversation.
His sharp gaze remains on me, hoping I’d break....
But, he knows better.
My smile remains.
He breaks.
*Sigh* “Fine.” He rises from his chair.
I follow suit.
Stretching his right arm over the desk, he offers me his hand.
“Welcome aboard, Bubble bee.” I can’t help but to laugh.
Ahh the old nickname.
“Thank you, for having me” I shake his hand, my smile wide.
“I’ll do my best.”
He squeezes my palm “I know you will.”
He releases my hand, instead maneuvering his to my right shoulder.
“And, just in case they forgot to tell you. I will...”
“I’m proud of you, Honey.”
“Always have been. Always will be.”
*Heh* I try my best not to tear up. Those words meaning more to me, than he could ever know.
Knowing that despite everything. This man, who’s been like a second father to me...still sees me.
Recognizes me.
Approves of me...
Loves me.
“Thank you.” I manage to croak out, past the thick cloud of emotion. That threatens to consume me.
“Really...thank you.”
