CHAPTER 1
Reiko Shirakawa knew right then and there, during her engagement party, that she wanted to kill herself.
She knelt on a set of cushions at the head of an elongated wooden table that rested low to the ground. The beaming faces of her girl friends surrounded her. Chatter and raucous laughter from other parties resounded through the air at the izakaya[1]. A grilled, smoky scent wafted from the yakitori[2] and kushiyaki[3] that lay scattered on small, round china plates. The perspiration on her (non-alcoholic) lime cocktail glass dampened her fingers, cool to the touch. Yes, that’s how she’d do it.
Her best friend Airi Wakamoto, a charming, upbeat girl with light-brown highlights in her shoulder-length hair and a beauty mark on her left cheek, rose and inhaled.
“Thank you all so much for coming,” she said in a cheerful tone, then turned to Reiko. “Rei-chan[4], once again, I wanna say congratulations! You’re a lucky lady since Kurimura-san’s[5] such a sweet guy…but he’s an even luckier man for finding you.”
Reiko flashed an embarrassed smile, burying the truth. If only they knew.
Airi finished her speech, tossing in an anecdote about how much Kurimura-san resembled the “ideal man” Reiko wrote about it her diary when they were kids, right down to his career. Reiko had wanted to marry a doctor, and Kurimura-san was an esteemed physician at the Fukuoka Central Ward Hospital. Chiseled good looks, a snazzy dresser, sensitive to her needs, and with a secure, high-paying job. The stuff of fairy tales brought to life.
The party of girls stood and raised their glasses. About a dozen people in all, dressed in casual clothing and hefty amounts of make-up for a Sunday night out.
“Congratulations, Rei-chan!” Airi cried. “Kanpai!”
“Kanpai!” the others cheered. They clinked their glasses together then sipped their cocktails. Reiko drained her own cup, enjoying the citrusy flavor and brief respite from the voice screaming in her head. The girls set their glasses on the table and clapped.
“Okay, Rei-chan,” Airi continued. “Your turn. Speech time.”
The drink trembled in Reiko’s hands. She ignored her friend’s voice and kept gulping it down.
“Uh, hello? Rei-chan?”
Reiko finished emptying her glass and let out a refreshed “ahhh!”
“Wow,” Airi giggled. “That good, huh? Want me to order you another one? Our nomihōdai[6] time’s still good for another hour and a half or so.”
“It’s okay,” Reiko shook her head, staring at the tatami floor. “I’ve had enough.”
“You all right? You’re lookin’ a little pale.”
“Hmmm?” Reiko mumbled.
The voice in the dark crevices of her mind began shouting louder and louder. “Do it now! Right now!”
“Yeah, I’m fine. A speech, right?”
Reiko got on her feet and gazed at her friends around the room. Their eyes were mirrors, reflecting a mixture of admiration and envy.
“Thank you for showing up tonight, everyone,” Reiko said, brimming with pleasure and pride. “I’m so happy I could burst! I really could.” She glanced at her best friend. “But your time and kind words are wasted on me. It’s time to silence the voice.”
In a seamless blur of motion, she smashed her empty drink against the table. The crashing sound of the shattered glass rang through the air, as did the screams of the startled girls.
“R-R-Rei-chan?” Airi stammered. “What’re you—no!”
Before her friend could stop her, Reiko snatched a jagged shard of the broken glass and slit her naked throat along her Adam’s apple. The clean cut severed her carotid arteries, causing fountains of blood to blast from the wound. She bathed the room in a sea of red as she collapsed and knocked over plates of food.
The screams erupted louder around her as her consciousness faded.
“Oh, my god!” Airi shrieked, holding her best friend and trying in vain to stop the jets of blood with moist towels. “Somebody, help! Quick! We need a doctor!”
A doctor, huh? Reiko’s final thoughts echoed through her dying brain. How ironic.
Her blood pressure plummeted as she bled out. She could no longer hear her friends’ voices panicking over her. A bright light pierced her field of vision and tore through her consciousness, beckoning her to the other side.
At least the voice finally stopped yelling at her. She’d finally have peace.
