Quite a marvelous beginning!

"I do quite like your writing style and the plot of this story! It has a lot of potential to grow and turn the reader's mind around a few times! If executed correctly, of course, and I have the distinct feeling you are more than capable of doing just that! Your writing style is quite descriptive as well, which is only a good thing! I didn't notice any particular errors in your writing style, aside from the very occasional missing '.' . But I only encountered that one time, and I was looking very closely for it. Good luck writing your next chapters!"