What is your opinion?
Improvement can be developed through writing
"Although this is the first chapter :) I will leave a review and update it as the book continues :) I like this story so far :) It is inviting and I love reading ice skating books or watching such stories (like Ice Princess lols) The plot of the story is good so far, but there could be improvement (Like I said, this is the first chapter, so there isn’t much to talk about :)) my suggestion is to explain more how the world around her looks :) I don’t say explain every single detail, but short paragraphs about the surrounding would give us more insight about what is happening around her :) I know third person writers love explaining the plot in extreme detail: x but a little more :) I like your writing style :) I didn’t see any Grammarly issues so far :) can I just say to please watch the present and past writing :) it’s so easy to get confused with, which comes where and I understand as a writer myself, I also get confuse :) but it’s good so far :) if you say stood (it means past) stand (means present) nodded (past) nods (present) See… it’s easy to get confuse :) I am sure with further writing you will improve with such small detail :) Also it will sound better to explain… rather than she nods… she nods slowly or she nods swiftly :) Like I said :) no Grammarly, spelling spotted :) Another thing :) I love the characters :) although I wish there is some explanation to how they all looked, I know writing each personality and how each one of them look is hard work, but important sweetie :) character developments and description is highly important in every single book you write :) we as the readers want to know who we are reading about :) eyes, hair color, physical futures… facial futures… these things matter sweetie :) Writing in emotions can also explain a lot more :) I don’t say explain in severe emotion, that the character practically breaks down, or jumps like a kangaroo with each situation, but please bring emotion inside :) the part where she feels that she is leaving her family to go half around the world :) (Her little spirit tears thinking of leaving them behind to pursue her dream — she devotes her watering pedals and sneak the droplet patting her skin) I don’t know if this helps, but perhaps something like this :) emotion makes a story grab the reader :) when I read a book, I want the feel the pain, the happiness, the sorrow of the reader :) I want to be a surprise, I want to laugh and cry along with the character/s :) I want to feel what they feel and updating such small matters, will grand you that special bonus. I don’t want to sound like a nagging reader, demanding things, which should be obvious, but this is just my personal perspective of what I have read so far :) I know with further writing, comes further developments in writing and each writer learns through reading and writing :) I am not a perfect writer myself and I too, make mistakes sweetie, :) but we all learn as we go along :) I hope this review helps :) I might not give strict, reviews, but I try to help where I can :) Happy writing sweetie and continue writing :) I can’t wait to read more :) I hope this helps sweetie :)"
I'm Intrigued
"I like the plot so far. Levi and Lexi are some great characters so far!"
