The Girl with The Seven Virtues

"Today: Audition for Dysfunctional Minds" the poster on the big wooden door announces. With slightly sweaty fingers I open the door of the practice room. It’s a big space with many seats for the audience ... and they are full of students ... Dear God! In front of the room there are four guys leaning on the large windowsill with crossed arms. They all look bored, even deflated. Um! Was the audition that bad? Or are they in a sour mood because I am late? I am new here and didn’t have a map, so I asked around to get here. Immediately one guy catches my attention. Although the other three guys are impressive in their own unique way – one has a tattoo sleeve, the other one has blue hair, another one is built like a football Quaterback - the fourth looks like a warrior of a martial arts film - lean-muscled, dark haired with an exotic appearance, you can’t put your finger on. This guy has an aura of self-confidence that strikes you. He is a total stranger to me, but I feel, that he is strong – not only physically but also mentally. My instincts tell me, that this is a trait you can’t learn or achieve. You are born with it. ”Interesting“, my brain registers, but I’ve got other things to do then to drool over a handsome face: I am here to apply for the position of lead guitarist of a metal band.

I turn away and try to sneak in with my heavy electric guitar without making any noise because I am late. In vain. “Hey kiddo, middle school is on the other side of the road”, the tattooed guy on the windowsill snickers. All eyes whip in my direction ... and everybody starts laughing softly. I huff but keep calm. With 15 years of experience I am accustomed to this reaction. I am always the youngest, everywhere. My rational side accepts this behavior. I know, what they see: a small girl, dark haired with a boy cut and a little quiff. I straighten my spine. No way am I easily intimidated. “I thought this is the band audition?“, I ask feigning ignorance. The tattooed guy rubs his chin, the other three glance at each other quizzically. Their speculating eyes seize me up and down, curiously. Only the martial art guy keeps a blank face. “Yeah, it is, but what is it to you, shorty?“, blue hair asks. I roll my eyes. “Well, obviously I want to perform as lead guitarist”. The audience laughs again. Okaay, now I am a little bit pissed. I hate prejudices and I hate when people are judgemental. Are they laughing because I am young or because I am a girl???

Either way, I don’t like it. Tattooed guy and blue hair laugh jokingly, the others keep their cool. “Have you lost your nanny in the Buckingham palace, girl?“, the tattooed guy coos in a fake British accent. Again, the audience bursts out laughing. Oh, so now they laugh about my British accent – classical. It only annoys me a little bit, but I am not angry. I heard it all before. It’s only a little joke. Truth is: Americans LOVE British accents. “Don’t get lemon wiv me or I’ll take you outside an’ cut you open”, I answer in my heaviest Cockney slang. The audience yelps in laughter. Now tattooed guy sends me a genuine amused smile. “Okay, I cut the crap. You wanna perform?” I nod. “Well, the stage is yours”, he slowly makes an inviting hand gesture. I sigh heavily because now things get real. Opening my guitar bag, I hear another voice: “First of all, introduce yourself. How old are you, where do you come from, what is your major ...or ...um “. He stops speaking. I turn around, waiting for the football guy to continue ... “are you still at school?“, he asks unsure with raised eyebrows. “No! I am a freshman majoring in astrophysics.” My answer is unexpected, so their reaction is dumbfounded astonishment. There’s a murmur coming from the crowd. I blink and continue to put out the wire from the bag. Now I’ve got everything settled: My guitar in sweaty hands, the plug stuck in the amplifier. I straighten up. “Hello, my name is Kimiko Callaghan, I am 15 years old and a freshman in astrophysics. Three weeks ago I came from Berlin in Germany”. I see a lot of stunned faces. One guy from the audience stands up. He smirks in a very cocky way. “Look, girl, we are here at MIT, not Kindergarten, where you can tell Grimm’s Fairy tales. Go back to your school, this gets annoying.” A few people clap their hands, others snicker.

“Okay guys, silence, please”, tattooed guy demands with authority in his voice. He watches me with his hands on his hips. “So, you are 15 and study astrophysics here at MIT, one of the greatest Ivy league universities worldwide?” His incredulous look makes me smile. I nod. “Yes, that’s true”, I answer with the guitar in my hands. A few people huff out their annoyance. “How is that possible?“, blue hair asks intrigued. I sigh wearily. If only I had gotten a penny every time I got asked that question ... I skipped two school years, this is the whole mystery.” “Skipped? Why?” My head whips around to the silent, confidence oozing martial art guy of the bunch who is still leaning on the windowsill with crossed arms. His inquisitive eyes bore holes in my own ones. Hell, and what kind of eyes! I’ve never seen a human being with such haunting green eyes. They are not even green it’s more like a yellowish green. I’ve only seen lions in the zoo with this intensity of light green predatory eyes. I am left speechless for a few seconds.

Although I am a juvenile 15-year-old, I am not a hormonal boy crazy girl. Yes, I acknowledge an attractive boy on a very levelheaded way, but I was never really attracted or emotionally touched. No roller coaster of emotions. I am still very young so why should I complicate my life with “big emotions”. I’d rather spent my time with the things I love to do, like music, sports, my studies, travelling, my family and friends. As a matter of fact, I don’t believe that it is even possible in my age to love someone in a romantic way. Its only infatuation you feel and this feeling fades fast. So why should I trouble myself getting distracted from my main purposes, or even risk a heartbreak? Moreover I have the best roll models at home: my parents got to know each other when they studied at the Royal Academy of Music in London. They fell in love, stuck together through thick and thin and lived their dreams together. How could I want something less? So why bother with immature boys, who have to grow up? BUT, I am not blind. This guy in front of me is something special. He has everything to knock girls off their feet. And by his looks ...well, I don’t believe that he is in search on a real relationship. Why should he? He is young and attractive. And that’s it.

I am not comfortable with what I have to admit right now, because once the truth is out, everything changes. When people know about me, it messes them up in a strange way and they can’t seem to behave normal again with me. I think, it’s because they are intimidated. But I can’t change the fact that I am who I am. So, why being constricted about it?

“When I enrolled in school, I started in third grade, this is the reason why I finished high school so early.” I watch their thoughtful faces, their gaping mouths. I know how the wheels turn in their heads. “May I start now with my performance?“, I ask hurriedly to distract everyone. Bloody hell, can’t we just start? I am here to play guitar and not to tell the story of my life.

The whole room is drop dead silent. Tattooed guy clears his throat. “Um ...yes....um alright. You are the last on our audition list. We requested a classic metal song and a more contemporary. What have you got?” I lick my lips. Calm, Kimmy, I tell myself. “I’d like to start with the contemporary song “Du hast” from the German band Rammstein. As classic song I chose “The Trooper” from Iron Maiden”. He nods in appreciation, stepping back, leaving me on my own. Let’s do this. I grab my guitar. The last seven years I lived in Berlin the capital of Germany so I am fluent in German without any traces of a British accent. I love German; it’s kind of a harsh sounding language but nevertheless I love it. Because of the lack of other instruments performing beside me, I made my own version of the song especially for this occasion, only for my guitar. I start the first chords.

It’s a song about the wedding vows and the question, if you want to love somebody forever, if you want to stay faithful forever, till the end ..the answer of Rammstein is a shouted NO! I love this song, the roughness of the lyrics and the music. Although I am a small girl, some even call me tiny, I have a rather deep voice and I deepen it more down, because the original voice of the German singer is very hoarse, unique in a deep and harsh way. As I watch above the mic into the crowd, I see astonishment, unbelief and many start banging their heads. This is the moment I love the best, when they comprehend, that they underestimated me. As I finish the song, cheers erupt and hollers. I take two deep breaths, turning my head to the four guys of the band. They watch me approving, blue hair gives me a thumbs up. Only martial art guy is calm and gives no emotions away. Okay, next song, next chance. I am hyped and in total harmony with the hart metal guitarist that lives inside of me. I strum the intro of “The Trooper”.

Suddenly I hear the drums being played. I turn my head around. Football guy plays the drums as if his life depends on it. We connect our eyes and he smiles open and cheerful. Next, I see blue hair grabs the bass and starts playing. Now I am getting hot and heavy. The guys show me their acceptance. Then tattooed guy accompanies me with his guitar and we move in total sync as if we had played forever together. I start with the guitar solo lost in my own world. My fingers tug the chords like I wrote the sheet music myself. As I move to the standing mic to continue with the lyrics, I hear a deep, rough voice besides me, taking over. My eyes widen. His voice is perfect. Unbelievable! I happily stick to my guitar because normally I only sing when I have to. And this guy is the epitome of metal. We finish together this wonderful powerful song. The audience goes wild.

When the last sound of the song fades, we smile like maniacs. The guys chose me. The people go crazy with hollering, clapping and wolf whistling. Tattooed guy embraces me. “Great performance, shorty”. Football guy engulfs me in a bear hug and blue hair hollers himself. Martial art guy only nods his head. “Thank God you came to the audition, even if it was late”, tattooed guy smirks. “Yeah, the others were really shit”, blue hair snickers. “You are really good, I mean really good”, he continues with his praise. I feel a little blush heating up my cheeks. “I always knew that I am a gift from heaven”, I mock. The guys smile kindley, only martial art guy mutters “We’ll see.” What is his problem? I roll my eyes. “Okay, listen Kimiko”. I am Ian”, tattooed guy says. He points out with his finger to blue hair. “This is Ryan”, then he points to football guy, “Alex” ...and then to martial art guy. “This dude here is Dre. As you can see yourself, he is a little bit of an ass to strangers but he is a great guy and very loyal friend when he accepts you”. I only give Dre a short friendly glance.

Never judge a book by its cover. As long as I don’t know this guy, I’ll try to be equitable. “Tomorrow we’ll meet at 6 pm at Dre’s for a rehearsal. Is that okay?“, Ian asks. I think about my schedule for tomorrow and nod vigorously. I made it – I am a member of “Dysfunctional minds”. I play for fun; I don’t want to make it as pro in the music business and I think the guys have the same intension. But we take it seriously. My eyes glance at Dre, observing, listening. He is goofing around with the guys, smiling and making fun with them ... and then he turns his eyes to me, his smile slowly fading. His gaze is captivating. There is something in the depths of his eyes that objects his distant expression.