I've tryed
I've tried. Time and time again, I've tried.
To not cut, to not be weak, to not fall into temptations.
You single-handedly abolished whatever pieces of my heart were left.
You see the struggles I've been through. You still leave me, like I'm nothing.
I'm sorry for being weak. I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for loving you.
I'm sorry for you having to love me. I'm sorry about the struggles I put you through.
But what I'm most sorry for is wasting your time.
I'm sorry I apologize too much.
I'm sorry that I can't live up to expectations.
I'm sorry I broke down.
I tried to hold out, to be strong. I physically and mentally can't.
I'm sorry I can't be the ideal, perfect girl everybody makes me out to seem.
I'm sorry you can see scars. But that's the only thing beautiful about me.
I've lost total control. Don't know where or how to start.
Don't know if I want to start. Maybe I should just give up.
I cry too much. Too many tears in only a short time.
I'm sorry I couldn't put my fake smile on. I'm sorry I can't find it anymore.
However, what I'm sorry for the most is I'm sorry for affecting you. Everyone.
I'm sorry for getting in your heart and in your head.
And once again, I'm sorry for apologizing so much.
Some will say that suicide or cutting is selfish. Selfish for the loved ones.
Isn't it selfish for the loved ones to continue to let the person continue through life in so much pain?
I'm not committing suicide, but I just might. Too many thoughts, too many unseen cuts to the human eye.
That's why I'm breaking down, giving in, and giving up.
