Where's my Shadow?

Once there was a little boy who was left alone without family or friends. He lived in an corner of this city because he literally grew up there. This was his home and it will stay, he said. He started to love this place which he calls home and started to make friends with his own shadow. This Shadow always talks to him and laughs with him, he was always there for him and he always will, the boy explaines. But every night his Shadow disappears. The boy’s feeling lonely in the darkness and it was cold outside. He trembles. He has no blanket to cover his trembling body. He sleeps like that every night. Every night he has to miss his Shadow and has to hope to not get sick. It would be no good if he got sick because he has no medicine and could die. Well.. it wouldn’t be that bad, he thoughts, because then he hasn’t to feel such frightening things anymore. The only problem is he doesn't want to die.. he doesn' want to leave his only friend; his Shadow, alone.

If you asked him what the most important thing in his life is, he would answer with: my Shadow. Some humans wouldn’t understand that. They would just think that he is crazy but he isn’t! His Shadow really talks to him and laughs with him! He is real! But sometimes if you try to explain such things to the outside world then sometimes the words turn into a punishment from god and not to any redeption you could get. His Shadow is there he knows it and always will, he whispered to himself.

There was a voice in his head which explains him things he doesn’t know. For example about himself. The Shadow told the boy what he feels, when Persona is there. Persona only appears if the boy meets people who are watching him. To be honest he doesn’t like attention and he feels uncomfortable in such situations. He wants to kill them because they should stop staring at him, they should stop wanting to see his Shadow. They are all so stubborn and he hates it. Often when he starts talking with his Shadow there are suddenly people listening to him but before they could overhear important information his Shadow stops him and the boy shuts his mouth. They are a good team together and they always will be.

With a smile on his lips he watches how his Shadow walks on the wall. First to the right side and then to the left side, it makes so much fun! Because he walks with him, first to the right side and then to the left side. He is a little innocent kid yet and almost nobody wants to destroy his mind. Some people wants to start a conversation with him and he always asks himself if his place is a good hiding spot or not because there are too many people for his taste. In one week there were maybe four people and this is just too much for this little kid which just wants to be alone with his best friend, his Shadow.

If people come to his hide-out he will hide his Shadow and wears his Persona. His Persona is the opposite of his Shadow. His Shadow is a kind creature..sometimes but that means that his Persona is the opposite..it's rude. His Persona isn’t only a bad character it can be nice too. His Shadow is just then in a bad mood and is the opposite of this. It repeated again and again, so the little boy started to try the construction of his Persona all over again ’till he doesn’t even know himself anymore, and who he wants to be. It’s scares him but he keeps doing it.

“Shadow, why am I so lonely ?” he askes him while sitting on the half broken chair someone had thrown away. “Who am I?” he asked him again and his Shadow looks at him “You are Taehyung and you are the person you want to be. You are trying to construct a Persona, aren't you? So keep trying, you have enough time.” the Shadow answered and smirks when he saw how Taehyung was pouting. “I do not know anymore..how should I do this? How is this even possible? I’ve always thought that we were born with a own character and now I have to build a character on my own? That doesn’t make any sense at all”

“I know, I know but isn’t it good to decide on your own how you want to be? Nobody can change you, only you can do it.” The boy sighs “Yeah you are right somehow..” he nodded his head and looks up in the sky. Shadow is a part of him, so is his Persona but people doesn't understand that..would they just know...

Oh little, did they know...

He kinda is talking to himself but also to his Shadow, somehow he only talks with him. He tried to talk to his Persona as well several times but.. he coulnd’t. Persona didn’t talk to him, so he gave up trying with this for now. Of course is Shadow smiling about that and is happy that Persona can’t go out or even talk to his constructor.

It’s getting late and the two guys are still talking to each other.

“You will disappear again, won’t you, Kookie?” the boy looks from the night sky to his Shadow but he wasn’t there anymore. With a sigh he closes his eyes. It’s like every day. Evey day is the same. He has to wake up early, searches for some food, even steals it sometimes and then later on he is talking with his Shadow but then the night arrives and the Shadow disappears ’till the new day begins.

It’s exhausting to wear Persona all over the day because they are people watching him. It’s difficult to have a perfect smile on the lips while there is nothing to smile for. It’s difficult to do such things with the Persona you don’t even know and which you still have to build. How should he be able to do this?

But his Shadow was right, he has to keep trying and to build the opposite of him.. it’s the last thing he could do for him. The black haired guy closes his eyes and wants to fall asleep because tomorrow will be another day and he can see his best friend again. So it comes that the boy fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

___________

The sun goes up and wakes up the little boy. He rubbes his eyes and looks around, ’cause he wanted to see his friend but.. There was nobody.

A little confused of that, he stands up and looks around again, yelled his best friends name but no response. “Kookie? Kookie? Jungkook?” but there was no response at all. He bites his lower lip and starts running. He ran around the houses and across the streets but he doesn't find his Shadow.

How could it be? His Shadow can’t just disappear.. the sun is up and..and..

Taehyung doesn't want to realise it. He wanted to search for his Shadow. He wanted to know where he is..but where should he start? And how? Tears are beginning to falling down his cheeks and he started to cry quietly.

“Kookie..” was his last word before he fell down to the ground and before the darkness surrounds him.