Prologue: Mind Games
“I’m taking over my body back in control, no more shotty. I bet a lot of me was lost. T’s uncrossed and I’s undotted. I fought it a lot and it seems a lot like flesh is all I got. Not any more, flesh out the door? I must’ve forgot, you can’t trust me. I’m open a moment and closed when you show it. Before you know it I’m lost at sea. And now that I write and think about it. And the story unfolds. You should take my life. You should take my soul.” - Holding on to You
It was the oddest, most foreign feeling. Yet, I felt like it was part of me. I felt as if another person was inside me. Someone… someone that I didn’t know, but knew of. As an acquaintance, but I knew more about them. I guess you want to ask who or what I’m talking about. Well, I’d tell you if I knew what I was talking about. I don’t expect you to understand my thought process, but I do expect you to try and understand where I’m coming from. Even if that means changing your mentality or mental state. So, I suppose you want to ask me if I’m mad. I guess some would say I am. Others wouldn’t. It depends on the person I guess. I was once normal and had a normal life. But everyone knows that nothing stays “normal” for very long.
Some say that it was my own fault that I turned out to be who I am now. Others say that maybe it was just God’s way of telling me that I’m supposed to be different and remarkable. That I’m supposed to shine like a bright light above everyone else. Maybe they’re right, but they could be wrong too. Most of the time, I wonder what it’s like to be normal. Other times, I really don’t want to be. Well, maybe I could be normal and everyone else isn’t. Or everyone else is and I’m not. If only I could understand what it is that plagues and haunts me. I don’t want to be like this forever. I think I want to be like this forever.
“Remember the moment, you know exactly where you’re goin’. ‘Cause the next moment before you know it time is slowin’ and it’s rolling still, and the windowsill looks really nice, right? You think twice about your life. It probably happens at night, right? Fight it! Take the pain, ignite it! Tie a noose around your mind. Loose enough to breath fine and tie it. To a tree tell it, you belong to me, this ain’t a noose. This is a leash and I have news for you. You must obey me!” - Holding on to You
