A Journey For Revenge....Probably? by NOBA_3A at Inkitt
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A journey for revenge....probably?

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Summary

In a world full of people blessed with the power to control nature's elements, an unpredicted attack annihilated a small village to break the time of peace, killing all of its residences without a trace for any survivors, during the battle though, a 10 years old kid called Gabrel manages to run away from his village, with total ignorance of his village's inevitable fate he runs away, only to fulfill his parent's wish for their beloved child to escape death, but that wasn't his wish, after 5 years of hatred, wrath, and training, he starts his journey to discover the identity of whoever was responsible.

Status
6yrs ago
Chapters
19
Rating
4.5 (2 reviews)
Age Rating
13+

A start of A flashback

In the year 1030 after the great separation of continents, a young man called Gabrel started his journey to reach his goal, he was waiting at a seaport in one of the 4 elemental continents, the water continent.

Gabrel waited for his companion to tell him the ship being ready or not, the young man was looking at the sky on the warm days of summer, counting clouds while recalling the past

5 years ago when he lost his home, his family, and everything he ever cared about, and while he was staring, his companion came and started to call his name.

โ€œRel.โ€

But he wasnโ€™t listening, lost in the sea of thoughts.

โ€œHey, Rel.โ€

Gabrelโ€™s companionโ€™s face started to turn red, her eyebrows went down and her teeth were clinching because of his attitude.

โ€œHEY, REL, CAN YOU FOCUS ALREADY?โ€

โ€œW-what?โ€

โ€œThe ship is ready to leave now, itโ€™s the time to move and youโ€™re staring at the sky, wasting our time.โ€

โ€œOh, sorry, I just was thinking about something.โ€

โ€œYou can think later, okay? We have a mission to accomplish.โ€

โ€œSure.โ€

Gabrel went with her to the ship but didnโ€™t stop thinking about the past, in the time of cold in the year 1025, when he was still ten years old, his head started to reimagine everything 5 years ago, during the dark night.

In the southeast of the water continent, there was a small village near the shore in the middle of cold weather and white snow, all of the residents of this village were living a simple life.

It wasnโ€™t a rich village, but there werenโ€™t any shortages of necessities, this village was full of peace, happiness, and of course, music, though, it couldnโ€™t maintain peace for long.

Gabrel was waiting for his father to come home from work, heโ€™s used to not seeing his father before bedtime, after all, Gabrelโ€™s father is the chief of the village.

Itโ€™s the chiefโ€™s responsibility to process all the villageโ€™s matters, heโ€™s doing his job honesty, thatโ€™s why he canโ€™t spend time with his family often.

Gabrel wanted to show him a surprise and see him before sleeping, he was practicing on his piano, in an attempt to learn his fatherโ€™s favorite song, itโ€™s normal for kids to show their parents what they can do.

โ€œcra~ck.โ€

A sound of an opening door was heard, Gabrelโ€™s green eyes were sparkling because he already knows who came, it was his father.

Gabrelโ€™s father, Elmos, who wasnโ€™t expecting more than a routine day, started to hear fast footsteps on the wooden floor getting closer, only for his mouth to turn wide open from what he saw.

Elmos saw a small kid with long silver hair, a delightful smile, and unblinking excited eyes came out from behind the edge of the wall with a top speed.

โ€œPapa~.โ€

Gabrel jumped to his old man who is actually young, donโ€™t ask me about this antibiosis, a father is his sonโ€™s old man no matter how young is he.

Gabrelโ€™s shortness couldnโ€™t help him to reach higher than Elmosโ€™s belly, though, Elmos helped by grabbing and holding him near his face.

โ€œHey little Rel, I missed you.โ€ Said Elmos while looking at his sonโ€™s smiling eyes.

โ€œI missed you too, papa.โ€

Elmos couldnโ€™t help but giggle from his sonโ€™s lovely voice, he got his son standing on the floor and asked him.

โ€œWhy are you still awake? You missed your bedtime already.โ€

โ€œI learned how to play your favorite song on piano so I wanted to show you today before sleeping.โ€

โ€œWelcome home, dear.โ€

A beautiful voice came out of the kitchen, it was Gabrelโ€™s mother, a youthful woman with long emerald hair.

โ€œIโ€™m home, honey.โ€

โ€œDinner will be ready soon.โ€

"Sniff Sniff, I can already tell how delicious it will be, however, why didnโ€™t you tell him that I will come back early tomorrow? He could just sleep and wait until then.โ€

โ€œNo, I wanna show you now papa, now.โ€

โ€œSee dear? He was like that all day, I tried to convince him but he wonโ€™t listen.โ€

Elmos received this line with a long calm hmmm, he then nodded and moved his gaze to Rel with an attempt to make an angry serious daddy looking face.

โ€œI will forgive you this time Rel, but you have to listen to your mother afterward, okay?โ€

Elmos tried to scold Gabrel, and maybe he succeeded, you can even notice Gabrel struggling and trying to shift his face to prevent his laugh from leaking, Elmos noticed and got angry, because of that, he did what was unexpected, and attacked Gabrel.

โ€œCome here you little brat!โ€

He then swooped on Gabrel with rains of merciless tickles.

โ€œN-noo โ€œgigglesโ€ papa, s-stop please โ€œgigglesโ€.โ€

Gabrel couldnโ€™t endure, he fell and started to beg for his life, while Hala was organizing the plates of food on the table.

โ€œThen let me hear the magic words.โ€

โ€œS-sorry โ€œgigglesโ€.โ€

With his merciful heart, Elmos forgave his sonโ€™s sins, Elmosโ€™s wife, Hala, couldnโ€™t do anything but draw a happy smile, Gabrel finally stopped laughing and looked at his father, Elmos looked back and said.

โ€œYou said you wanna show me something, Rel.โ€

โ€œYes, I wanna show you how I can play your favorite song.โ€

Elmos sat and said.

โ€œThen show me what you got.โ€

Gabrel nodded, he summoned his blue piano, left his two hands, and before his fingers touching the buttons โ€œKnock Knockโ€ a sound came behind the door was heard.

โ€œWhoโ€™s visiting at this hour?โ€ Said Elmos with slanted eyebrows and a twisted mouth.

There was a soldier in front of the door, gasping while trying to talk, he mustโ€™ve come here in a rush.

The soldier wore full body armor, though, his face was clear as the sun of the morning, it appears that heโ€™s still young, early 20โ€ฒs maybe.

There wasnโ€™t any special feature on his face, but the shadow of fear is obvious behind him, Elmos turned his face from annoyance to seriousness.

โ€œWhat is it, soldier.โ€

The soldier took a deep breath and unleashed what was trapped in his mouth.

โ€œWe saw a naval fleet approaching our borders, sir, we think this is something worth your consideration.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s the direction theyโ€™re coming from?โ€

โ€œTheyโ€™re coming from the northwest, sir, and heading to our direction.โ€

โ€œGot it, you go now, I will follow you.โ€

โ€œYes, sir.โ€

The soldier left running as fast as he can, Elmos approached Hala and whispered.

โ€œThey may be enemies, if the worse came to worst, I will send a warning message to you, run with Rel to the water main village through the tunnel after receiving my message.โ€

He then looked at Gabrel with a calm smile to make him feel everything is ok.

โ€œSorry Rel, I think you have to wait a little longer.โ€

โ€œO-ok, but come back home quickly, I want to show you what I can do, papa.โ€ Said Gabrel with a worried face, Elmos kneeled to his son and said.

โ€œDonโ€™t worry, Rel, I have faith in your potential, and I will come back as fast as I can to see it.โ€

Elmos went up and threw his words towards Hala.

โ€œDonโ€™t worry, honey.โ€

โ€œBe careful.โ€

Said Hala with sharp eyes, the corners of her mouth went down.

Let NOBA_3A know what you thought about this chapter!
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Great Character

Strong Dialog

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Strong Dialog

author

Great set up and lead into the next chapter. Some of the writing is a little awkward, but that can easily be fixed, the more one writes, the easier the flow! For instance the last sentence could use a comma after sharp eyes if it is happening a second after she sais be careful, if it happens at the same time, then you would replace the and with as and no comma.  Like I said very minor.. 

7 years
author

only one other. when the father attempts to scold gabral I think canโ€™t even notice instead of can

7 years

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