Cradled Darkness

Again, it happens. Why does life have to be so cruel? What did I do wrong this time? He spends days, sometimes weeks away from his family, and he gets mad at me for spending a few hours with my friends. That’s it. I had it. I can’t. I won’t take this kind of treatment anymore. I must leave this man. I must leave Hank.

Oh, who am I kidding? Here I am in this chilly weather just thinking, pushing a stroller, with a five-year-old in it. I find myself thinking about the twins, Mason and Nicholas. How am I going to explain to two sixteen-year olds that Mommy took their younger sister, but not them, from the cruel confines of their father?

During the autumn season, Castle Rock wasn’t so busy with tourists. It was kind of quiet. Well, most of the time. Every now and again, a hoot or a holler could be heard from a neighbor for various reasons. Other than that, not much goes on here. Castle Rock looked beautiful this time of year with the leaves changing to red, yellow, and brown, but she can only stand the cold for a few hours. Once the winter months arrive and the freezing cold sets in, she wouldn’t be able to get away for very long.

During tourist season, which runs from the spring equinox to around the end of the summer solstice, is when things started getting a little on the bizarre side. Everyone was so drawn to that old castle at the beach end of town. Why? She may never know.

Natasha Krill turned her daughter, Lizzy’s, stroller around. It was time to face the music. She dreaded what he might say since she has been gone so long. How long did she walk? She was so upset she didn’t even realize it was just about dark. Great, now she was going to be in for it.

Natasha peeked in on Lizzy. Fast asleep. She unbuckled her daughter and slowly crept inside. Her small trailer felt like a tuna can and she was the fish trapped in it.

“Where the hell have you been?” A voice came from within.

She laid Lizzy on the couch. “I took Lizzy for a walk.”

“Uhh huh. Your other two got hungry while you were gone. You need to start planning better.”

Natasha didn’t say anything else to him. She just unburied herself from the many layers of clothes she had to wear. When she didn’t feel like a Dutch oven, she grabbed Lizzy and headed towards her bedroom. Lizzy still had to share a bedroom with her and Hank. The price for a four- bedroom house was outrageous.

The twins shared a bedroom, even though they were of the opposite sex. The room was a decent enough size that Hank managed to put a wall between them with two separate entrances. That was what Natasha admired about him. He was good with his hands.

“I think she’s going to be out for the night.”

“Did you eat?”

“Yeah, we ate at Big Burgers.”

“You did? Well, where the hell is ours? What about your other two kids and me?”

“Oh, I ordered you guys something.” She got out two bags of burgers and fries. “Here you go,” she said, handing the bags over.

“Well, alright then.”

Hank relaxed in his recliner watching his favorite zombie movie with Nicholas. The guys in the Krill family could eat anywhere and watch anything while they ate. While the girls preferred to dine in the kitchen. Mason joined her mother in the small dine in.

“How could they watch that stuff when they eat?” Mason asked. “It makes me gag watching it without my food looking like mashed brains.”

Natasha chuckled. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

“Mom, where did you go tonight, really?”

“I took your sister for a walk. I just needed to cool down.”

“For two hours?”

Natasha’s eyes widened. “Yes!”

The phone rang. Hank answered it. Natasha only heard half of the conversation but knew it was about pills.

“’Sup.”

“How much?”

“How many?”

“Hell ya, I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Later.”

The Krill’s had no family car. All they had were bikes to get around. It usually took them hours, if not all day, to get from one end of town to the next. Natasha mainly stayed home and watched the kids.

“Be back in a few.”

Hank gave Natasha a peck on the lips and out the door he went. Natasha knew he would be gone for more than just a few hours. He was probably going to be gone all night. She hated that he was never around, but at the same time loved that he wasn’t there to bitch at her all the time. She also liked the extra time she had to herself after the kids went to bed.

Natasha shut off the gruesome zombie movie and put some rock music on instead. The kids, especially Mason, didn’t mind the change.

“Mom, why do you let him go out like that?” Mason asked.

“It’s better to let him be, then to lose him, dear.”

“If you say so.”

The night went quickly for the kids. They whined and complained about going to bed, of course. Hours passed and still no Hank. Why does he do this to her all the time? He wonders why she gets so mad at him. How could he be so inconsiderate?

Natasha looked at the clock. It was one in the morning. She had to take her mind off him. She turned on the television. Her favorite show, Girls in Ivoria was on.

Ivoria was such a beautiful country with tall buildings that reached into the heavens. Gorgeous two, three, even four-story homes decorated the neighborhoods. All the famous people seemed to move there. Castle Rock had its moments of fame but only small-town people actually lived here.

When two in the morning rolled around, she tried his cell. She tried three times and he never picked up once. Natasha’s anger flared. He was probably out whoring around again. How could he be so cruel to her? Why doesn’t he just stay gone? She threw her blankets off her. Pacing back and forth of her small living room, she tried his cell again.

No answer!

She tried it again.

No answer!

“Why do you do this to me?” She screamed at the phone.

Tears welled in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She wept for him once more. How much more does she have to suffer before she listens to her daughter? She wasn’t happy here either. Lizzy was too young to understand, but Nicholas was a different story. He loved to be around his dad. However, she thought Hank was a bad influence on him.

Natasha laid back down on the couch. Her breathing became rapid. Tears flowed faster, soaking her face, hair and pillow. Her abdomen cramped from tension. She cried herself to sleep that night.

Natasha woke up to the sound of toys going off. Lizzy was up playing with her doll babies. They made cooing noises that sounded like real babies. She looked at the clock. It was around eight in the morning. It was a school day and the bus already picked up Nicholas and Mason. Lizzy’s bus didn’t arrive until a quarter after eight. She hurried and got her ready for school.

The bus honked as she rushed Lizzy out the door. The bus driver gave Natasha a dirty look. She ignored her and gave Lizzy a kiss on the top of her head.

“Have a nice day, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Mama.”

Lizzy waved from the bus as it passed Natasha. Natasha waved back. As the bus disappeared down the road, she turned and started walking back towards her trailer. She noticed that Hank’s bike wasn’t there, yet. Her blood boiled once more. He was going to be in a world of trouble when he got home. She would see to it.