Daddy, Please, Just Love Me (Preface)
A little background before you read....
My father’s mother and father, my Nana and my Pop-pop, raised me. She is an angel for taking me in and raising me as her own. My pop-pop is the image of no man I’ve yet to meet again, one of a kind, genuine, loving with all his heart. God rest his soul.
My father is a good man and my mother is an amazingly loving woman, who sadly, just has too many inner demons. My father, does not know how to show love to a child in the ways needed. I fearfully and painfully; don’t think he will ever truly know how to show true love to anyone.
This letter, in the format of a poem, was written as a plea to him from my heart when I was a teenager.
My father did try when I was a child, though his lack of knowledge or capacity to have empathy or show love prevented him from being the “dad”, that I needed.
He is a part of my life today and is a pop-pop now, himself. He’s doing a slightly better as a pop-pop, than as a father, but sadly will never be the dad that this grown little girl has needed. Still needs....
While I’ve come to terms with it; I still wish it wasn’t the way it is, but life is not always what we wish. Therefore, we must make the best of what we are able with what we do have in order to find our version of happiness and peace.