What is your opinion?
YES
"Hello! I saw your reads request over on the feed, and I'm glad I did, because this was an excellent read and I intend to follow it as you continue writing and uploading chapters. I think it has an Over the Garden Wall feel, if you're familiar with the show, which I really enjoy. Your characters are all well-detailed and on their way to solid development. Finn seems rather mature for his age, but I suppose he's still within the realm of believability. You have a nice pace going, and I appreciate that you don't sacrifice having actual scenes for the sake of getting through the opening exposition faster. I'm already partial to Jett, because I danced ballet for a long time and even now it's a significant part of who I am. I only knocked you a star for technical skills because there's a couple places where your verb tense changes inappropriately-- I think you slip into present tense when it should be past. There's also a sentence in the second chapter, I think, when Jett is chopping firewood, when you use "realise" twice in the same sentence. Other than that and maybe the occasional typo, everything looks good. Go forth and conquer! I can't wait to see where this goes. Dovetails and dragon claws, The Hatter"
Fantastical journey
"This is a story that speaks of 'normal things not being what we think they are.' In this case, it's the train -- or is it a train -- that is taking Jett and Finn home. (or so they think). The writing style is good; fast-paced and scrolls very easily. I also enjoyed the slick humour that flows between the two central characters. It comes over as very natural, the way children actually speak, and to that I say well done! I would have liked a few more descriptions when they got off the train -- such as how the field or the night air smelt, or maybe seeing different star constellations in the sky, but all that can be added later. I am now hooked on this, and will quite happily follow the whole story to its conclusion! Well done! Richard D. Cooper."
Enjoyable
"This children lost tale has a pleasant charm about it. I will admit I do not usually read this type of story. The following are my thoughts and you can ignore them as you wish. I’m sure other reviewers will say different but it is my opinion. I believe the opening pages of your story are the most important. If you can grab the reader they will read on. If you don’t they move on. There are many opinions on the subject of openings. Some you’ll find useful but some will make you feel like an idiot. Not because you are an idiot but because it comes from a writer whose brain thinks different to you. Your opening must engage the reader’s curiosity. As soon as the reader starts wondering what might happen next it will cause him/her to anticipate the outcome. They may be right or wrong it doesn’t matter. Most importantly the reader will read on. You opened with, “Jett.” The reader does not know who this is. I suggest you delete this. The next para beginning – The train rumbled down the track is okay but how about something more interesting. The train raced along the track rocking from side to side. In the moonlight lit carriage a girl clutched a bundle to her chest and stared out of the window. My attempt is not perfect but you can see the difference. In general when you finish this story it requires another edit to tighten the narrative. I did enjoy reading this and I wish you well."
Good
"Nice storyline. Would have been better if you the author could have included more plots."
