Camouflage: My Feelings

/md Many weeks without a glance in the mirror

Many days without a smile on the face

People called me rude, I really was

Because their voice messed up with twenty other voices inside my head

People called me weird, I don't know what it meant

I was a human with human emotions, sadness ruling them all

I was kept at bay while they spoke in foreign tongue

My tongue felt lighter by the day without it ever moving

I did not choose this, a curse rather I'm sure

'Cause every thing left and hurt me, the things I thought were pure

Work - not enough

Family - I'm not enough

Love - Sixth time's the charm

Body - as heavy as it pains to move my arm

Friends - they showed me to keep them closer

Hobbies - Many but none

Awards - packed in a cardboard box

Books - Not been touched as though they had pox

I wish I could see the happiness I thought I had

I went to the mirror to smile away the sad

The mirror shattered at my reflection

Each piece showing my depression

A girl in a tight dress that showed all her fats

A girl eating tasteless food, coz tears on them dissolved the tastes

A child waiting for her parents to stop fighting

A child without attention, fought with them to get something

A sister who trusted her blood more and bought two of everything

A forgotten second blood once a marriage kept her weeping

One big shattered piece caught my eye

A graceful woman she could be, yet scratching her head while eating pie

A room with such a mess, though she loved to clean

A bed with a small open space for her to sleep, only to be seen

Bags and presents she brought for herself

Tear marks on each one including the ones on her shelf

Her pillow looked so dirty, the salts of her eyes faded the color

Her blanket also looked the same, stains of eaten food all over it.

I saw the reflection again looking at me with the shabby hair

Torn pants and worn out top, she went and grabbed a chair

She sat there looking at me, circles of night engulfed her eyes

The books behind her showed me she once, was wise

She laughed suddenly, without catching for a breath

Voice shake as an earthquake, it was the laugh of death

The same chair, she then stood on

And she looked at the rope that turned her on

She kissed the noose, for something would finally touch her skin

She grabbed it and looked at me with a smile as though she had a win

I shook my head in disapproval, while saying No

She enacted the end of her scene, and took a bow

I broke the piece of mirror into more pieces to stop her

More than blood on my fingers, the tears made me see all in a blur

I looked at the reflection laughing again

"You." she laughed "... couldn't even stop your self to be in pain"

She tore more fabric on her body and threw them afar

I could see all the similar and fresh scar

The naked reflection did a dance, on the broken glass

The end, she summoned silence as though she taught in a class

She slapped herself to break the silent echoes

She punched her face as swift as arrows

I saw all of this in a reflection, broken and in blood

She tripped and fell down in a thud

Her head started bleeding and she laughed and licked it off

I could only see the mirror laughing until a cough

She cried loudly blaming only herself, cutting her skin more and more

Red sorrow spilled all over, she slipped on her bloody floor

The mirror, came closer and looked me in the eye

And we both uttered at the same time "Just Let me Die"