Chapter 1- Prologue
"Layla?"
Cecelia Rose Harding sat down next to me. I don't even know how she found me, we haven't been up on the roof of her parents house like this since we were probably 8 years old. But I shouldn't be surprised, my oldest friend has always been able to read me like a book. I've barely been able to look at her this past week and when I do look up all I see is her liquid blue eyes, swimming with concern.
I don't blame her. I've been here for over a week and I've barely said a word to anyone. I didn't want to say anything, I couldn't. Because every time I opened my mouth, I see him and all I feel is pain. It's like my mind is in auto drive. I keep replaying every moment that happened in the past couple of weeks.
I pull my legs up close to my chest, resting my chin on the edge of my knees. My curly brown hair ripples slightly in the London wind. I could see over the entire city from here, the bustle of cars, the sound of people laughing and heading out to clubs and west end shows. I could see couples walking along the streets, hand in hand. Laughing, kissing and falling in love. So blissfully unaware to the damage that their love is going to do.
I use to be like them. I never knew someone could have the power to break me like this. But now I do.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Cece murmurs. I could tell she was hesitant to speak to me. All of them are. My own parents didn't know what to do with me. They thought a trip to London would help me clear my head. Surround myself in stuff that doesn't remind me of him. Or of the stupid situation he put me in.
Fuck him. Honestly fuck him.
I shakily head wildly at my friend, trying not to hyperventilate. I close my eyes tight. Squeezing out the stupid images of this stupid city filled with stupid people who are just so in love. I could already feel the tears welling up again, spilling out and running down my face. I clasped onto my knees tight. Biting down on my cheek, trying not to sob. I couldn't sob anymore than I have. I'm stronger than this.
I've never been sappy or sad. I've never hated myself so much in my life. I'm suppose to be the strong one, i was always able to just brush off pain. Smile and move on. It's my short stubborn temper which always got me into trouble.
Tiger.
That's what he use to call me. I silently cursing myself from bringing my mind back to him, to the way he would grin when he purred my name.
I'm only sixteen. My life wasn't supposed to go like this. I'm not suppose to experience a loss like this so soon. I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my tight ball. I collapse into Cece, her hand reaching out to stroke my hair. " You don't have to be strong for me Layla." She murmurs.
"What am I going to do Cece? My life is ruined." I burst out. I push the heel of my palms into my eyes trying to block the tears. I never knew a boy could make me feel this weak. I'm almost disgusted by the way I'm acting. "Layla you're going to fine. If anybody can get through something like this it's you." Cece tells me. Her voice is filled with utter certainty, but I still wasn't convinced.
" He doesn't love me Cece." I sob into her chest. My tears soaking the soft wool of her woven jumper. Cece grabs me by the shoulders and hoists me up so that I'm staring into her bright blue eyes. They were filled with fury, for me. She was just as angry, she was hurting too. It made me even madder at him.
" Then fuck him." She growled, her nails digging into my shoulder. There was no doubt that Cece was protective of me, just as protective of me as I was of her. Which is why she knew nothing about the boy who broke my heart, she never has and i hope to god she never does.
Cece never goes to New York because of what happened to her. Her parents would probably die if she ever did. So it was easy for me to keep him a secret from her. But I can't get much past Cece and eventually I broke, I told her how I felt about him. How our nearly 10 year relationship had seemed to have blossomed into something more. He had told me I was different. But I was just another knock on his bedpost. Some sort of stupid 10 year pursuit.
For so long I had made it clear that he would never be able to capture me like he did other girls. For so long i resisted swooning for him because I knew the damage it would do. I was stupid to give into my desires. No... i would stupid to think i meant anything more to him than a quick fuck.
" Fucking him is how I got into this mess." I tell her, rolling my eyes a little. Without even realising it my lips pulled up a little into... dare I say it... a smile. I quickly cover my mouth with my hand, my eyes widening a bit. Cece grinned at me. Her blonde waves bouncing about in the wind.
"I've missed that smile." She whispers, pulling me into a hug.
" Layla you have more to worry about now than you're heartbreak. There are now things that are beyond yourself." She says softly. Cece knew a lot about trauma. I knew I could trust her with this, I could trust her word and her help. As much as I wanted to prove that I was strong and that I could do it on my own. I knew that I needed people around me, people like her. Otherwise I was going to break.
" I know it's harsh. But if I was in your position I would be doing the same." She continues, squeezing my hand in hers. " There is no better place for you to be right now. Transfer here. For your last few years of school. We can help you out. There is no reason for you to go back to New York right now."
I shake my head, a soft smile on my lips." My parents would never allow it." I tell her sadly. My parents are protective as hell over me. I knew that this wasn't going to be just another fuck up for them. They're still coming to terms with my situation. My father is still trying to control his temper and not drive all the way to Stanford to strangle the living hell out of him.
" They may not have a choice Layla. All decisions you make from here on out need to be made by you. You need to decide what's going to make you happy because at the end of the day that's all they want." She says to me. There was almost a desperation in her tone. She wanted to help me, badly. My lip quivers slightly. "I'm scared Cece. I'm just a child..." My words come out barely a whisper. A single tear rolls down my face and Cece catches it, pushing it away. " You are brave. Way braver than you are giving yourself credit for. " She tells me, flicking me her huge signature smile. " Now chin up Layla. I've missed your sassy comebacks.”
"I'm sorry." I laugh." I haven't really been myself lately."
No sassy comments for weeks. It's been really bad. But I know that being here, in London with Cece and Sam, it's going to fix me. Mia and Luke are going to help me. Everything will be okay.
" You have nothing to apologise for. If anybody should be apologising it's that good for nothing boy who left you like this." Cece growls, her eyes flashing with anger. She grabs my arm and links her pinkie with mine. When I look in her eyes all I see is determination." He's going to pay for what he did to you Layla." She tells me.
" I swear on it."
