What is your opinion?
A page turner.
"I would like to start off by saying that this novel was captivating. I loved all the plots and characterisation of the protagonist. Watched is something everyone should read. I feel that the writing tone of the author was a little too informal (eg, "Cliche but yeah") There were punctuation errors and grammatical errors which kept me from fully enjoying this novel. Other than that...five stars."
Need More Attention for The Punctuation
"The plot of this story is actually good. The opening would make readers hit the 'Next Chapter' button and the main character was quite interesting. The biggest problem here is the punctuation. The prologue was the worst with one single long paragraph. You should start a new paragraph when there's a dialogue, and then start another one when another character speaks. This makes the story much more easy to read and you can actually add more suspense and intensity by using new paragraphs. Just compare this : No, don't," I pleaded. He let out a disturbing laugh. "Really? Were those your last words?" "Please," I begged him. Over and over again. "Goodbye," he grinned. And that was the last word I heard. With this : ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "No, don't," I pleaded. Thump. He let out a disturbing laugh. "Really? Were those your last words?" Thump. "Please," I begged him. Over and over again. "Goodbye," he grinned. And that was the last word I heard. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I bet the tension felt different. You might want to consider using more 'enter's in your story. I also noticed the lack of commas. They are really important because a single comma could change the whole meaning of a sentence. You might want to check this kind if punctuation examples in published books or you can check more senior writers' books here. Lastly, your own comments in the chapters were not okay. I used to write in fanfiction.net and of course they allow it because the website is less formal and well, they are for fan fictions. But I suggest you to not include them in your story. Anyway, this story got some potentials. I do enjoy Chapter 3, because I could feel the panic in Raine when she saw the messages. So, try to pay more attention in formatting and punctuation and I swear you story would be much better. Regards, Kei Angelus"
