Wedding of the Year [EDITING]

Day One: Chapter One

“First class tickets to Atlantic City and an SUV at the arrival gate with a chauffeur? My crazy rich friend is showing off.”

“Excuse me.” The supposed chauffeur looked in the rearview mirror. “I am not a chauffeur, and if you must know, I’m a cousin of the woman your ‘crazy rich’ famous friend is marrying.”

“Don’t mind him.” Tyler smiled and read along as he typed, “Just landed in ACY and on my way to Bluestone Island! Also, the guy beside me keeps rectifying that he’s a driver and not a chauffeur. I wonder what the difference is.”

“I’m neither a driver nor a chauffeur.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened, clearly annoyed. “I’m just a guy behind the wheel, taking guests from the airport to the island.”

“So, you’re an escort.” Jesse snickered and glanced at the two women next to him, then Tyler in the passenger seat. “Since we’re going to live with each other for the next two weeks, how about we introduce ourselves?”

“Hi, I’m the chauffeur who escorts people in an SUV.” The man driving raised his hand and said mockingly. “No, wait, that’s wrong. I’m the usher at the wedding and guess what? I’m going to kick you out of the island or bury you in a shingle beach.”

The girl sitting next to Jesse rolled her eyes and shook his hand. “I’m Hope Martin, the best woman. And this is -”

“Tyler Meller, groomsman number 1.”

Jesse laughed in his face. “Tyler Meller? Wow, I’ve never heard a name in my life that rhymes. Oh, I’m Jesse Campbell, by the way. Groomsman number 2.”

Hope, Tyler, and Jesse glanced at the fifth person who seemed to cling to the car door and her eyes were entirely focused on the perpetual ocean.

“Latest mission, people: find the names of these two gloomy strangers.” Jesse grinned. “Twenty-seven minutes is more than enough.”

~

“Excuse me, what are you doing?”

A blonde woman with fake lashes and a frown looked at her. “Can’t you see? I’m getting into my cab. Now, shoo!”

“I’m sorry, but I booked this cab.”

“Are you saying that I’m stealing your cab?”

“Wha – of course not. All I’m saying is that –”

“This crazy woman’s calling me a bandit!”

“A bandit? Who even uses the word any- Ow!” Ellie covered her face with her hands, and she was sure that her lip was bleeding. The woman just hit her out of nowhere. “Whoa, there’s no need to throw punches! I’ll just get another –”

This time, Ellie saw her fist coming at her and ducked, glancing at the startled cab driver. “Hey, tell her that I booked it.”

He blinked before saying, “I ain’t gonna let you crazy bitches in my car. Adios!”

Ellie’s jaw dropped as she watched him drive away. She stood outside the airport, wondering what the hell had happened.

The woman suddenly grinned at something over her shoulder. “Was it good?”

What? Ellie tilted her head to find a teenager in the huddle, holding a phone and his thumb up. “Wait, you deliberately started a fight for what, Instagram views?”

“My god, E. You don’t recognize me?”

Ellie’s jaw hung open for a second time. “Paris?”

The woman took off her blonde wig and grinned. “It’s always easy and fun to fool you, girl.”

“You didn’t have to punch me, you know?”

“I know,” Paris smirked. “That was for sleeping with Dick MacQuoid in junior prom.”

As a car arrived, Ellie threw her fist back and punched her in the eye. Paris squealed in surprise and pain as Ellie grinned with satisfaction. “Fake lashes don’t suit you, P. Now that we’re even, shall we go now?”

~

“So, you both went to school with Vincent?”

Tyler nodded with a goofy grin. “We were like the three musketeers – Hope, Vincent, and I. Even when we were kids, Vincent & Hope were like Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, so it wasn’t a surprise when he asked her to be the best woman at his wedding.” He turned up the volume and switched the stations back and forth, ignoring the annoyed look from the person behind the wheel.

“You two had a thing?”

Hope scoffed. “Vince and I? God, no. Why would you even think that?”

“So, this is not a reboot of My Best Friend’s Wedding?”

“Not sure what you’re getting at, but no.”

Jesse smirked and shifted in his seat, his leg brushing against Hope’s. “So, what’s your type? Or are you into women? Both? Ooh, I like the idea of both.”

Tyler cracked up as he kneeled in his seat so his body was angled to the back seat. “Knowing Hope my entire life, I can assure you of two things — A, she’s 100% straight and B, she would rather go out with me than with dumb idiots like you.”

“Hey, you’ve known me for like what, seventeen minutes? Don’t call me dumb!”

Hope looked at Jesse, trying to change the subject. “So, you met Vincent in college?”

“Ha, I wish. He plays sports and I hack systems. We met at his first game in Dallas; Texas Rangers! I’m still not sure how it started, but we instantly became Frodo and Sam. I’m Samwise the Brave, of course.”

“I was there for every single game of his.” Hope tapped her chin. “Wait, were you the guy satirizing ‘Rougie’?

His eyes lit up like fireworks. “Yeah! You saw me?”

Hope glanced at Tyler and he laughed like it was some inside joke. “He was the bearded man with the crooked smile?”

She nodded and smirked at Jesse. “You hit on me three years ago, dumbass.”

“Did I? I hit on so many people, I forget.” He shrugged. “Now I got a five o’clock shadow and a sexy smile. I can hit on you and this time, I guarantee it’ll work.”

“Hey, could you drive any faster?” Tyler yelled as he continued switching stations and turning the volume.

“I’m going at 80 miles per hour.” The guy glared at Tyler’s fingers rapidly moving across the screen. “And stop reviewing my driving skills.”

Hope smiled nervously at the irritated man. “Tyler critiques everything he comes across. But I have to agree with him, you’re going a tad slow.”

“Tad,” Jesse emphasized with his thumb and index finger.

“Alright, kids, buckle up.” He pressed the gas pedal and the car raced forward like a space rocket. Tyler cheered in excitement and urged him to speed up.

Jesse stuck his head out the window, his light brown hair blowing in the wind. He looked like the dog from The Art of Racing in the Rain. “It feels like the fast and furious. Do we have a turbocharger?”

The guy said nothing and kept hitting the brake pedal with a frown etched on his face.

“Hey, it’s okay if we don’t have the turbo. There’s no need to get upset.”

Tyler noticed that something was wrong. “All okay, man?”

He didn’t say anything for a whole minute. “We have brake trouble.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Do I look like someone who cracks jokes?”

The car was eerily quiet for ten seconds before they went hysterical and blathered to themselves in low voices.

“What were you thinking, Jesse? This is not fast and furious! What if we had a turbo? You’d be flying off to the black hole, eh? He was driving slowly to avoid a situation like this. Tad slow was fine; at least you wouldn’t be in this deadly situation. Now, you’re going to die, JC. Let’s just take one last whoosh of air.” His head was out of the window, taking long breaths as Hope dug her fingers under her car seat, murmuring to herself.

“I’m not going to die like this, am I? There are so many things I’m yet to do. I haven’t been to Ancient Rome yet, jump off a plane naked, swim with the sea turtles, or try root beer! I’m twenty-eight and I run an art museum. I haven’t been on a proper date in months or had sex in five weeks, five weeks! That’s more than a month. Am I going to fall forward and slam my head on the windshield? Kill me, kill me now!”

Tyler was typing rapidly on his phone. “Fun fact: I asked the driver/chauffeur to drive fast and now I’m in a final destination movie. I hope it’s just a premonition and I can stop this and save everyone. But it’s happening right now, the car is out of control and I’m sure his foot’s aching from hitting the brakes. He’s going to die anyway, so I guess feet don’t matter right now. And I just met a guy named Jesse; he’s so cool, I wish you guys had a chance to meet him. You can still come to see him at his funeral. And mine. Also, there’s a blonde behind me whom I think I’m imagining because she got this robot-like face and she’s barely moving while I can’t sit without moving for more than thirty seconds. I appreciate the guy driving though, he seems pretty calm. And he’s still hitting the brakes. I feel sorry for him.”

“You did this.” Jesse wrapped his hands around Tyler from behind and scowled. “You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut and let him drive his way.”

“Who was being Paul Walker and asking for turbo, huh?”

“So, it’s my fault?”

“It’s neither of your faults, it’s mine. I never should’ve got into this death ride with you two guys. I’d rather swim.”

“Then jump through the windshield and swim like a mermaid, Hope!” Jesse yelled into her ear. “Or just walk to death. At least I’m enjoying my last moments.”

The guy driving joined their bickering. “I’m trying to focus here, so if you imbeciles just shut the hell up!”

“Let go of the steering wheel, chauffeur. We’re taking you with us.”

“Oh, I already did, because I lost control of the wheel, too.” He said coolly. “And I am in the driver’s seat, so it’s obvious I’m going to die for sure even if you guys survive. But please don’t use the word ‘chauffeur’ ever again. My name is Xander.”

“Yay, I got one name.” Jesse pumped his fist in triumph and went back to enjoying his last whoosh of air. “Wait, you lost complete control of the car?”

As if to answer his question, the car started swaying from side to side and Jesse held the first thing he found – Hope. He clung to her, squeezing the air out of her lungs and screaming in her hair as if he had just seen a ghost. “Is this your dead uncle’s car? Why is it doing the cupid shuffle?”

“Shut up.” Xander went back to his hopeless attempts of trying to get control of the wheel. “This is a nightmare.”

“Damn right, it is,” Jesse shouted and squeezed his eyes, talking to himself. “Wake up, you dimwit! None of this is real, except for holding a hot chick.”

“Shut up, Jesse.” Hope nudged her elbow against his abdomen, trying to make him loosen his grip. “I don’t want to die from asphyxiation.”

Xander added, “I meant, it’s a nightmare to die with people like you.”

“What do you mean, people like us?” Tyler asked as he furiously typed, “My fellow readers, Xander the chauffeur is acting like a rotten egg. Avenge my death if he survives. Okay, the car’s dancing now.”

Xander rolled his eyes for the hundredth time and threw his hands up in exasperation. “What are you people, eight? Even two-year-olds wouldn’t act like this.”

Hope shrugged. “Situation calls for idiocy and insanity.”

The four of them continued arguing until they heard a crunching sound. They stared in horror as the stoic woman ate a pretzel with the same expressionless face.

“Is she even human?”

“I’m seriously starting to think she’s not from Planet Earth.”

“Maybe she’s a foodie who believes in dying with a full stomach.”

She picked up a smoothie from the holder and slurped it when the car screeched to an abrupt stop. The sudden impact caused Jesse’s nose to slam into the back of the headrest and the milkshake spilled on Hope’s dress. Her favorite white floral mini dress now had a dark pink stain. She hates pink.

“Whoa, you stopped the car.” Tyler blinked at Xander, who was taking deep breaths. How was he so composed all this time? “I think your dead uncle possessed the car.”

“My cherry vanilla.”

The quartet gaped at the woman looking down at her empty paper cup, eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m hearing voices now.”

“Wow, she speaks.”

“Guys, is that a flat tire?” Jesse stuck his head out of the car window. “I think we got a flat tire.”

“No, this is worse than cupid shuffle and cherry vanilla.” Xander got out of the car and crossed his fingers. “Don’t let it be a flat tire. Don’t let it be – damn, it’s a flat tire.”

Jesse slammed open the car door and hurled up a thin stream of vomit. Tyler, who was about to open his side of the door locked it and turned around to look at the two in the back. “I’m going to stay five feet apart from this guy.”

“Maybe I inhaled too much air.” Jesse wiped his mouth as Hope handed him a water bottle.

“Do you have a spare?” Tyler looked at Xander with desperation. “Tell me you have a spare.”

“I don’t.”

“You are a reckless chauffeur.”

“Call me a chauffeur one more time and I’ll feed you to the sharks. And I have no idea how we’re going to go from here.”

As if on cue, a cab stopped right next to their car. “Casey?”

A ghost of a smile made its way to the nameless woman’s face. “Paris, Ellie. Are you coming from the airport too?”

Jesse rubbed his eyes and glanced at Tyler. “Am I in the afterlife or did she just smile?”

The two brunettes nodded. “Car trouble? Get in with us.”

“There are four others with me and a trunk full of luggage.”

“I guess we can tow the car. Right?”

Casey looked over her shoulder. “Is that okay with you?”

Jesse blinked. “Are you talking to us?”

“Yes, or no?”

“Works for me.” Xander went to help the driver and Jesse’s jaw dropped as he noticed the person taking out the tow bar. “Kaleb?”

“Whoa, hey man!” Kaleb hugged Jesse and glanced at Hope and Tyler. “Been a long time, huh?”

“Kaleb, hey!” Hope and Tyler bumped fists with him. “Did Vincent send you to pick them up?”

“Wait, how do you guys know our cab driver?” One of the brunettes asked.

“He is Vincent’s cousin. I guess he was sent to the airport to pick you girls up.”

“Yep, that’s exactly what happened. Wait, did you call me a cab driver? Does this car look like a cab to you?” Kaleb sighed and gestured for them to get in the car. Casey joined Paris and Ellie while the other four hopped back in the SUV. Tyler stared at Jesse in disbelief. “What the hell are you smiling about? We almost died.”

“I got her name; Casey. Mission accomplished.” He said with a lopsided grin. “I wouldn’t care if I die now.”