Diary of a Loving Housewife

January 12th

Hello!

Good morning!

Greetings.

Dear me,

Hi. A few of my neighborhood friends have gotten into diary writing, and here I am. Also writing one. I’m not really sure where to begin, so I’ll just start by telling you who I am, but since I’m going to be writing some personal stuff in here, I probably shouldn’t write my name. And if I lose you? Eh. Not to sound mean, but I probably won’t write in you that much. The others are only writing one because the life of a housewife gets boring. Lucky for me, I get to work most of the day.

I’m 34 years old, divorced. My bastard of a husband left me a few years ago, taking with him everything we owned. But on the contrary, I feel great! Sure, the first few months were tough, trying to find a job, putting a roof over my head, and all the paperwork, ugh! But life continued on. I went back to school, got my degree, and landed a job at this major accounting firm as the secretary. I even managed to use my personal savings to buy a quaint little house in the suburbs. Life is pretty good. On the flip side of things, because of my age, I’ve been trying to make friends with the neighborhood moms. But it just about kills me when they start gossiping. Cheating husband this, rabid dog that. There is so much gossip that flies around in our small neighborhood that I can’t remember it all. They’d have a field day if they ever found out how much time I spent on my knees as the secretary.

Actually, I should write down all their gossip in this book! Great idea me!

Lisa thinks her husband is cheating on her

There's a supposed rabid dog wandering around the neighborhood

The bugs seem to be getting bigger every day

Anne swears that her husband is also cheating on her, maybe with Lisa's husband?

Annabelle's daughter is entering a rebellious phase

Janet's son's birthday is coming up

Oh wait, I think Janet has three sons, triplets probably

On that note, why are there so many boys in our neighborhood? They're always wandering around the streets with nothing better to do than peak over my fence to see me sunbathing. But I'll tell you a secret, I kinda like it. Their horny little eyes staring at me in my bathing suit makes me feel young again, maybe one of these days I'll invite one of them in to play, or a few of them... God! I'm so naughty! But even though I write all this, I know I won't ever do that, I just don't have the will to.

My boss knows best that I'm pretty submissive. Every time he pushes me I end up giving in and wasting another day at work. Then he has the nerve to chew me out for not getting any work done! He's lucky he's the boss and not me! How'd he like kneeling under a cramped desk for a day?

Anyway, that’s it for today. I was a little hesitant at first, but this isn’t too bad. My chest feels a little lighter after writing down all my worries. And trust me, my poor chest could use a little less weight. Just for reference, my breasts are F cups, and people love staring whenever I walk through the office. I know my boss loves them when I’m on my break. See you next time diary. Don’t go anywhere! Not like you can, haha! Wait, why did I write that down? Maybe I do need to go see a therapist. But then I'd be taking Lisa's advice, and it's not like she doesn't act high and mighty enough as it is.