Remission

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I awake to the relentless patter of rain hitting the window. My vision is hazy, senses lethargic, as my eyelids wearily draw apart. The first thing my eyes connect with is the back of the passenger seat before me—the grainy, jet black appearance of it keeping me in a daze.

“I know it’s risky, but we’ve already made it this far.” The faint murmur catches my attention. My gaze shifts from the dark leather seats towards the front where a man sits. Eyes straight ahead, he possesses sharp features as well as a growing stubble along the bottom half of his chin. He firmly holds a steering wheel with his dark, veiny hands, and swerves it to the right. The sudden jerk in movement reels my body along with it until I find myself pressed against the window.

It’s then I realize that I’m in a car, and become aware of the low clinks and clunks the windshield wipers are emitting as they drown the pounding of the teeming rainfall against the glass.

“How about if something happens?” says the second male—the one propped in the passenger seat. His back is hidden by the leather, though dishevelled blond hair pokes out messily between the spaces in the headrest.

The first man drops a hand from the steering wheel and runs it carefully along his chin. “It’s all we’ve got.”

“But, Doc,” the boy says. “We can’t do this.”

“Stop being stubborn,” the man merely returns. “You already know we can’t have the facility catching on to what we’re doing.”

Harrumphing, the blond slumps his shoulders. “But we agreed—”

“—that this is in her best interest.” He whips his head back and forth before tilting the steering wheel again. “I know it’s tough, but it’s already been set. Our only choice is to pray that we succeed.”

The second male doesn’t open his mouth after that. Instead, I find his head peeking over the seat, brows scrunched together, green eyes narrowed at me. My vision swirls as he mutters something else under his breath. An inconsistent throb erupts from the back of my head, making me grimace.

“Bea will figure it out eventually.” The image of the one driving sways and distorts before me. I shut my eyes, a rush of overwhelming exhaustion pooling over me. “Hopefully,” he adds as an afterthought.

The blond says something in protest but I can no longer hear it. It’s almost second nature, how easily my body shuts down; crumples. Then in one fell swoop, darkness engulfs me, taking me captive without a way out.

When I open my eyes next, my face feels oddly moist. Something drips onto my forehead, down to my cheeks and lips. I squint, but even as I do so the twisted image that greets me doesn’t clear. The number of times I blink won’t fix the blurriness either.

My breath catches in my throat. And before my senses can dare process my actions, my body lurches forward. I cough hard; inhale and exhale heavily, my heart hammering against my ribcage in an attempt to set my breathing straight again.

“Are you all right?”

The unexpected shout causes me to jolt. My head shoots upright, towards identifying the source. But the fuzzy image of the face simply twists; my vision still hasn’t cleared. My gasping intensifies. The stutters of air flow from my mouth instead of the words I wish to surface. It’s as if my throat has entirely closed off—overridden by the unwanted fright rippling through me.

Something—most likely hands—seize me by the shoulders. “Hey, calm down! Breathe!”

The pain of their nails digging into my skin trickles in, and suddenly, my vision takes its chance to stabilize. I continue to flutter my eyelashes and the more I do, the more a coherent image of the face in front of me it becomes. It isn’t before long a male’s face is looking back at mine, equally frazzled.

“Feeling better?” he asks me, softly this time around.

He squeezes my arms for good measure. I suppress a wince at his strength and instead of a proper response another exhale releases from my mouth. My heart rate, though still pounding in my ears, begins to slow. I nod my head, carefully, trying my best to ignore the trembling of my limbs that come with it.

I’m unaware of who it is, but another hand claps over my forehead and finds its way to my cheek. “She’s in shock.” I follow the owner of the voice to another male seated beside the blond currently gripping my shoulders. He removes the back of his hand from my face, his cool blue eyes searching through mine. “Don’t stress yourself out. Calm down a bit.”

“Yeah, we don’t know what’s going on either,” the blond agrees. He frees me, flashing me a toothy smile. “It’s best to stay calm, actually.”

“But...” My quivering lips draw closed and I’m astonished by the feminine voice that reaches my ears. It’s slightly pitched—is it mine?

“Good, you can talk,” Blue Eyes interjects. “Your airways are clear then. Colour’s returning to your face, too. Can I see your nails for a bit?”

My eyelids dart up when the umber-haired male scoops up my right hand. I retract it straightway, disliking the idea of this stranger touching me.

“What are you doing to her? She’s scared,” the blond points out.

Blue Eyes stares at him, frowning. “First Aid? She’s obviously anxious. Plus she’s cold and clammy. I don’t want her fainting.”

“She’ll faint if you keep scaring her like that,” he remarks. Reaching behind him, the blond surfaces a tattered container and beckons it to me. “Here, drink some water.”

Blue Eyes reaches to snatch the bottle from his hands. “Until she completely calms down we shouldn’t be—”

“Too slow!” The blond ducks under his arm and dives forward through a grainy surface resembling sand. He ends up before me, tilting his head sideways so that I can see him. Grinning from ear to ear, his hazel eyes twinkle. “Don’t worry, the water’s safe. This guy—” He gestures to Blue Eyes. “—cleared it from all the saline.” He openly sits criss-cross and slips it between my fingers. “Just quench your thirst and then we can meet up with the others.”

“Others...?” I echo as if I don’t know I have it in me. Which, I don’t. It’s almost as if I haven’t spoken in forever; my throat is killing me.

I swallow hard and open my mouth again. He cuts me off with the quick shake of his head.

“Nu-uh, just drink something and then we can talk.”

My mouth clamps automatically.

“Hey!” Blue Eyes hisses, snatching the container from my grasps without any warning. “We need to check her circulation first!”

“Who cares about circulation,” whines the blond. “I want to go looking for monkeys again! Let her drink the water and let’s go!”

“We can’t do that,” Blue Eyes snaps. “And like I’ve told you time and time again, I highly doubt there are monkeys on this islan—”

I don’t know what comes over me—most likely my dehydration—but I swipe the bottle from Blue Eyes and begin to frenziedly gulp down the liquid.

“Hey!” he cries, followed by a laugh which probably originates from the blond.

Though at that moment, I don’t care about anything else but the water I’m drinking. In ten seconds flat, all of it is gone and I am panting heavily. I wipe away at the sweat on my temples as immense relief overwhelms me.

“You shouldn’t have done that!” Blue Eyes shouts again, face popping into my ray of vision. He’s furious. “You could’ve put yourself at the risk of more danger. You weren’t supposed to drink anything until—”

“Thanks for the water,” I murmur.

I clamber to my feet but as soon as I do, I stumble. I’m saved by a grab from the blond.

When I regain my balance, I nudge him away. I turn my head and am definitely not expecting the sight of an ocean to lie ahead. Astonishment gets the best of me as I watch the lurching waves against the sand. My gaze shifts from the water towards the clear sky above then the flushed greenery stretching as far as can be from behind. My lips meet, pressing together in a straight line. Is this some kind of island? Why am I here? Am I on some kind of trip?

My eyelids continue to flutter as my mind turns its gears. I wait for a response to come—any means of an answer. Even information about my whereabouts from before my arrival here would’ve flooded me with countless comfort.

But even as I stand here, fixated on the warm sand between my toes and clear sky above; no matter how long I wait, my mind remains empty. My breath hitches in my throat but I jerk my head left and right before I can panic. Hold on, me. It’s okay. Don’t freak out.

I’m here for a reason—one I can obviously remember. I just need to calm down and think about this all from the beginning.

My name, at least. I have to at least know my name. I was born and lived with it. It’s something that should come first.

Closing my eyes, I place a hand to my chest, inhaling and exhaling deep intakes of air. When I know I’ve settled down, I try again. My name... My name...

“Bea will figure it out eventually.”

The memory causes my eyebrows to skyrocket. Bea... is that my name? Bea. Bea. Bea.

The more my mind repeats it, the more it feels as if I’m trying to convince myself it’s real. I can’t tell if it really is. What about where I was before this? Where I lived, my parents; friends?

I wait, stilled by the endless bank of darkness that runs across my mind. My heart comes to an abrupt halt. No.

No, no, no.

It can’t be possible. There’s no way.

I can’t remember where I am.

No, I don’t know who I am.

The realization, this time, sends me into a wave of panic.

My teeth chatter against my jaw. This is outrageous. Am I still out of it? Is this a dream? How is it possible not to remember a single thing about myself? How can my mind feel so... blank—so empty? There is no way I have memory loss. I’m driving myself crazy. That’s it. That has to be it.

“Why is she acting weird?” somebody from behind me whispers.

“She’s panicking, idiot.”

Somebody claps my shoulders from behind again and I jostle them off. Blue Eyes produces a yelp of pain but doesn’t release his hold.

“Let go of me!” I hiss, my limbs shaking. Who the heck are these people? I don’t know them! Are they the ones who messed with my head? “What did you do? Give me back my memories!”

“We didn’t do anything to you,” Blue Eyes replies in a whisper. “Look, let’s just head over there and I’ll explain things to you.”

I squirm in response. “I said let go of me!”

“You have to calm down—”

“HELP!” I scream, frantically pushing and shoving him. “SOMEBODY HELP ME! PLEASE!”

My blood runs cold when somebody else grabs onto my flailing arms. The blond from earlier stands before me, brown eyes narrowed in slits. “Chill out.” His words only manage to whiz past my ears. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

“Ow!” Blue Eyes screeches after I swing my foot into his shin.

With some unknown strength I’m not aware I posses, I slam my body into his abdomen to wind him. When he gasps for air I know I’m successful. Seizing the arm of the blond currently holding me, I hurl him over my shoulder, delivering a final kick into Blue Eyes stomach. Both boys collapse to the ground, emitting a united groans of pain.

Breathless, I inch backwards. One, two, three. I gulp hard, inhaling to calm my exhilarating heartbeat. My vision slides over to the boys and awe swells like a balloon inside of me. What the...? How did I do that? I glance at my exposed forearms and biceps then my clenched fists. I’m not muscular in the least. Does that mean I’ve done some kind of training in the past?

“What’s going on over there?”

“Forget that, I’m hungry. Can’t we eat yet?”

I pivot sideways, my previous thoughts dissipating along with the gust of air that blows through. I train my focus ahead only to gasp upon finding two more guys—a short redhead and a tall brunet—approaching from the other side of the shore. I raise my fists in alert, adrenaline heightening. I concede a couple of steps as they only continue to stride forward.

“Whoa,” the brunet says, gaze darting to the two boys I’ve hurt. “You guys look so pathetic.”

“Be quiet...” Blue Eyes grumbles, hoisting himself from the sand.

My eyes widen as the blond does the same, whining, “That hurt! What did I even do?”

“Nothing, by the looks of the situation,” the brunet snorts. “She whooped the two of your asses easily.”

“Hey! I can admit I got flipped, but she did not touch my beautiful ass!”

My bottom lip quivers as I take yet another step back. I didn’t hit them hard enough? Oh no.Oh no. I have to get out of here. They have more people working with them. I have no chance!

“This isn’t the time for this. She’s running away.” The gruff voice of the redhead holds me in place. Frozen, I rotate my head only to find that all their eyes have fallen onto me, each stare capable of sending chills down my spine. “Grab her,” he barks.

Colour drains from my face at a fast rate as the two boys rise to their feet. They all come toward me at once. I know I have to run, but my legs aren’t moving. I’m stuck in place.

“What do we do if she tries to escape again?” Blue Eyes asks, pushing strands of his dark hair away from his eyebrows.

“Knock her unconscious or something,” is the redhead’s response. “She’s our only clue to figuring out how we ended up on this island.”

“Roger that,” the blond says, saluting for emphasis.

“What a pain,” sighs the brunet.

The four of them advance slowly, every footfall sending sparks of fear throughout my body. I’m simply a mess, and my senses aren’t listening to me no matter how much my brain is shouting for me to get the heck out of here. In mere seconds, the four males are looming over me, their heights only adding to the terror of the situation.

“Are you going to stop running now?” the redhead says, a scowl instilled in his countenance. “We know you just woke up but we have some questions that you need to answer.”

“After that can we look for monkeys?” says the blond, grinning from ear to ear. “Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys!”

“What’s with your morbid obsession with monkeys? I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten a proper meal since I woke up,” whines the tallest of them all, rubbing his belly. “Can we interrogate her quickly and make finding meat our priority?”

“You guys have absolutely no idea what kind of situation we’re in do you?” the redhead snaps, glaring darkly. “Filling our stomachs and obsessions should come second.”

“Monkeys,” the blond merely asserts to the brunet.

“Meat.”

"Monkeys—”

“Ignore those idiots,” Blue Eyes says, directing my attention away from the odd argument. “Just listen to me.”

Biting my lower lip, I briefly scan my surroundings. Desolate. Empty. I can’t see anyone else for miles. I already know I’ve lost; that I can’t escape. “Wh-what...” I pause, forcing down my unease the best I can. Moreover, when another question surfaces to mind. ”Who are you guys?”

Blue Eyes is silent at first. I think it’s because I’ve asked a question he won’t answer. Though, watching his features shift into one more solemn, he opens his mouth before long. “I...we...” He hesitates. “We’re not sure. About anything. Who we are, why we’re here, what’s going on... We all have amnesia.”