good start

"The action right off the bat in the story along with dialog was great. I recommend you re read it, and edit it. Some capitalization in names and use this https://prowritingaid.com/ to help with some of the grammar in the conversation. . Once you have the chapter re edited and added to use this http://www.hemingwayapp.com/. Any sentences that are to long or awkward fix. i hope you post your final story here https://www.minds.com/groups/profile/902525707628482560/feed?referrer=Talon123 and ask for rereview. Sometimes I am not on this site for a while and would like to re read it once you have more completed."