His Everything

There she goes again. Hair aflame, green eyes crackling with irritation and hate, as she glares him. He did this. He rather enjoys it though. In fact, he relishes in it. He is the only one who can get this type reaction out her. The only one who can get her to show her true colours in all their energetic, psychotic glory. Who else, other than James Potter, can get the contradiction that is Lily Evans to rage and spit like the devil himself? No one. Only James Potter, the Marauder, the prankster, the Head Boy.

After years of getting these types of reactions out of her, one would think that poor old James would get a hint and back off. But no. You see, if there is one thing that James Potter can't resist, it's a challenge. And who better a challenge than Lily Evans? She is kind and witty and clever. But she also turns into a raging lunatic when angry, gets defensive, is stubborn as a mule, and is oh so completely and utterly lost in her own world of rules and laws that she doesn't ever slow down to really live in the moment.

That's where James Potter comes in. He is her opposite in nearly every way. James continuously lives in the moment, thrives on it. How else can one fully enjoy life if they don't take the time to really see all that it offers? Of course, this is the type of logic that he follows when he pushes Lily's buttons. He loves to see Lily go from annoyed to full-out raging and see her eyes shoot daggers at him. He takes pride in the fact that he is the only one who can manage this, to get her to come out of her shell and just BE.

Right now though, Lily Evans is right in front of him, criticizing him, insulting him, and all he can think of is how absolutely gorgeous she is when she lets loose and forgets about everyone else. Except him and her. He lives for these moments. He depends on her to go head to head with him. To fill him with the fire that rolls off her in waves whenever he's around to annoy her. Because no other girl would do this. No other would insult him and bite back and give him a run for his money. She keeps him on his toes just as he does to her.

He needs her. He has known this for quite a while now, a couple of years to be exact. At first it was just a little crush, mainly based on her looks. But then he felt the fire. So he let her feel his own. Her fire, her tenacity, her stubbornness made him crave more of her. He wants to know everything about her. She is his world. He loves her. So much, that most of the time it's painful for him. She doesn't know of course. Sure he asks her out casually, and continuously gets rejected, but he has never told how she is his everything. How every time she walks away he cracks just a bit more. Everyday he watches as she interacts with others, is kind to others, and then there's him. She will look his way with hate in her eyes. And he just cracks, cracks, cracks.

There are times when they share a secret smile while working on their Head duties. Or when he's said something particularly funny and amusing. But most of the time he insults her and she insults him. Why, you may ask, would he insult her if he loves her? Well, James loves her with everything he has, mind, body, and soul. So, he wants her to also give him everything she is, just as he has given everything he is to her. He wants her anger, her glares, her insults. He wants her kindness, her witty banter, her heart. He wants her to be herself around him. Just as he has done. He has dropped a lot of his pretenses around her, not being as much of a prat or being as arrogant as before. He has become real for her. He has already surrendered everything to her. She just doesn't know it yet.

Now Lily is asking him what he is doing, confusion and annoyance clear in her eyes and voice. He's staring at her, wishing for her, longing to say that she is his everything. She is everything. But he can't. Because right now, in this moment of time, she will turn compassionate, as is in her nature, and give it all back, his love, his body, his soul, his heart. He can't risk it. If he does, he will shatter. So he's prepared to wait. To wait for her to realize that she is only truly herself around him, that he makes her stop and live in the moment, that he will always be waiting for her. That he is her everything. And always will be.

She stares back. He says nothing. She is his everything, but he says nothing. He is cowardly. She brings him to his knees. He is cracking, cracking, cracking. She walks away. Crack. He will wait. Crack. He will wait until he shatters. Crack. He knows she is confused about why he makes her feel so alive. Why only he can make her laugh, cry, and hate with a passion she didn't know she was capable of. He only has eight more months until they graduate. Crack. Eight months to be around her, to see her, to annoy her, to give her everything he is. Crack. Eight months to get her to see, clearly see, that he loves her with everything he has and more. That he is hers, and always will be. No other woman could or would ever even come close to her. She is Lily Evans, a contradiction. He is James Potter, a Marauder. And so he waits. And cracks. Until he shatters, he will wait. For his everything.