Chapter 1: When It Faded
The day it faded, Lillian Markus was at the café. She didn't feel it, just watched as the letters faded into oblivion. Watched as the neat font and blue letters forming a name, Julia, disappeared from the world, along with Julia herself.
The day it faded, was just like any other—only it wasn't. It was torturous, the wondering, the heartache.
The day it faded, she cut her shift early and cried for hours. Grieved over a person she never knew.
She'd had it planned, their first date. Lillian would wear a soft pink dress, white flats. They would go to the movies, see some chick flick, then have dinner. Julia would be perfect, she just knew it.
But now she'd never know if she was right.
Of course, she knew some people lost their soulmates before their first meeting, but it was uncommon. And never in her life had she thought it would happen to her.
But it did.
And it left her empty. After the initial shock and wave of saddens wore off, she was angry. She was so angry. How could this happen? How could this happen to her? She didn't know if she believed in karma, but she'd never done anything too bad, definitely not enough to deserve this. Just sneaking out once, and even then it was to go to the library with Connor, her best friend.
For weeks, she sat, unmoving on her bed. She wondered if this was punishment for something. What had she done, though? Sure, it could be for the sneaking out, or that one time with marijuana, but, still, neither seemed terrible enough to merit this.
How could the death of an unknown person cause this much damage? How could it break her to the point of self-destruction? Why did the death of a near stranger do this to her?
Ultimately, she concluded, it came down to her own well-being. She didn't care what happened to a random person, no matter how selfish she sounded. In the end, it came down to her own heartbreak, and the fact that she would never have a soulmate.
She supposed this fact was the thing most keeping her from attempting to recover, her own selfishness.
She'd have to return to regular life eventually, that much she knew. But how she would do it, she had no idea.
