Chapter 1
Death: it’s a natural part of the life cycle. Anything that lives might die during their lifetime. It’s just a part of how life works. Death comes for those of all ages. It doesn’t have an age limit. Yet because we know it’s coming, we could never prepare for the sudden death of a loved one.
I stood in front of the mirror wiping the last of the tears away from my brown eyes. I have dreaded putting on my little black dress.
Why does there even have to be a color for death? Instead of celebrating someone’s passing, we should celebrate their life.
I slipped into the dress and zipped it up in the back. I curled my brunette locks and pinned them up on one side. I looked back into the mirror. I truly looked like I was ready to attend the funeral of a friend.
I tried to keep my composure. I needed to be there for Johnny, who also was mourning the death of our friend Oliver.
Johnny drove by the house to pick me up. I stepped out into the chilly rain that fell down from the sky. I walked over to the car and got inside.
The ride to the funeral was met in silence. Neither I nor Johnny spoke a word to each other. What was there to say? We had just lost our best friend while the three of us were out swimming together in the Pacific Ocean. My mind drifted back to what happened that day.
Ollie wasn’t a powerful swimmer. Neither Johnny nor I knew that. We had planned to go swimming together to enjoy one of the few last days of summer before we had to go back to the reality of work. We had never been swimming together, the three of us.
Ollie hadn’t relayed the information to us that he couldn’t swim. Although the three of us grew up as best friends, there apparently were some things that we never knew about each other. So we all ran into the ocean, Ollie acting a little awkward as he got deeper and deeper into the water.
We had made it into the ocean to where if we stood up the water came up to our throats. We swam out further into the ocean. Ollie always a little far behind us. That’s when everything changed.
We heard some gurgling noises and a faint yell.
“I CAN’T SWIM. HELP ME!” Ollie screamed.
That’s when we realized that Oliver couldn’t swim.
Johnny swam to his rescue and the both of us tried to swim back to the beach. But Ollie kept fighting against us instead of allowing us to help him.
Everything went black for a moment. We felt a tug as we all went plunging deeper into the ocean. When Johnny and I both swam up to catch our breath, we noticed that Ollie didn’t swim up with us. He had let go.
I felt as if he sacrificed himself so that we wouldn’t drown trying to save him.
After we got back to the car, we called 9-1-1 to tell them what had happened.
A few days went by and they still hadn’t found Ollie’s body. Finally when they were about to give up all hope, his body washed up on shore. His parents were called to identify the body.
Through the whole thing, I blamed myself. I could tell that Johnny probably blamed himself too.
Because we didn’t know that our friend couldn’t swim, we had lost him.
The rain was beginning to pour down harder, pulling me out of my memory.
We made it to the church as we gathered inside.
Pictures of Ollie were everywhere. His family were all scattered around the church, talking to various other people.
Johnny and I made our way up to Ollie’s parents. We gave them hugs as we gave them our condolences. If I were them I would be mad at us. But instead they thanked us for being the very best friends for their son and that we were the friends they had always hoped that Ollie would have.
As much as I tried to keep my emotions to myself, I couldn’t help but to let some tears escape my eyes as they started streaming slowly down my face.
I felt so much guilt. It was starting to eat at me. I had only wished that I could go back in time and change what happened that day. Maybe even change what we decided to do. Maybe we should have just went on a drive instead.
Suddenly the church got quiet. The preacher stepped up to the podium to read the obituary and to say a few words.
“We are here to celebrate the life of Oliver Gray. Not to say goodbye,” the preacher began.
I sat and listened to what the preacher had to say as I looked over at Johnny who couldn’t control the tears any longer. Seeing him cry made my eyes leak even further.
After the preacher concluded, Johnny went up to the podium to say a few words.
He cleared his throat before beginning.
“Oliver and I became best friends in Kindergarten. We were both shy and awkward. We saw the rest of the kids talking and playing with one another, so we were left out,” he sighed. “I walked over to where he was sitting and asked him to be my friend. That was just the beginning of our friendship. We stayed the night with each other and become close, like brothers. Our families became close too.”
Johnny then looked straight at me. “In first grade we met Arabelle. The three of us became inseparable. It was nice to have a girl friend in our group. She fit right in with us. We all grew closer together as we got older. There was no place that any of us was without the other two. Now part of our group is missing. How will we ever get through this? Everyone who knew Ollie, knew he had a big heart. He would give the shirt off of his back to help someone in need. We miss you brother.”
Johnny then stepped off of the podium. It was my turn to say a few words.
I walked up past Johnny and to the podium. I was at a loss for words. I knew what I wanted to say but the words couldn’t form through my lips.
“As Johnny said the three of us were inseparable. We went everywhere together. We were truly best of friends. Now we have to learn to live without a part of our group. A piece of my heart will always be with Ollie,” I began. “To his parents: you raised a fine man and all that knew him was very proud of the man that he become. To Johnny: we were the best friends that Ollie could have ever had. We were there when he needed us the most. Even in his death.”
I wanted to continue to read the rest of my speech but I just couldn’t. I stepped down from the podium as tears flooded my eyes and streamed down my face. I made my way back to the seat.
Finally we all went up one by one to say our last goodbyes before Ollie was carried out of the church and put in the back of the hearse.
Johnny and I got back into the car and drove to Ollie’s final resting place.
We got out as they lowered the casket down into the ground. We each took turns digging dirt and putting it on top of the casket.
We said our goodbyes to Ollie’s parents.
“Don’t be strangers now, ya hear?” Ollie’s dad asked.
“We won’t,” we replied.
Johnny and I got back into the car so that he could take me home.
“That was a beautiful service. Ollie would have loved it,” Johnny said, breaking the silence.
“Yes he would have,”
When I finally got home, Johnny stepped out of the car, going over to the other side. He opened the door for me as I flung my arms around his torso. I inhaled his woodsy aroma as I looked up to him and said “I need you now more than ever.”
He looked down at me and said “I need you too.”
We stood there hugging each other for a few seconds, which felt like minutes. He finally let me go. I walked into the house as I watched from the window as he drove away.
I didn’t know where this new normal would take us, but I knew that I could never let Johnny go. I felt like our friendship would only get closer through this devastating loss.
