Chapter 1
I was a travel lover by birth, Or so my mom says. There wasn’t a place I haven't visited in all of India. From Kashmir to Kanyakumari - I’ve been everywhere.
I’ve seen the Taj Mahal, Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Jallianwalla Bagh, Golden Temple, Wagha Border, City Palace, Amber Fort, Rashtrapathi Bhavan, etc.
I’ve been to the snowy weathers of Nainital, Ladakh and Srinagar. I loved the experiences at Backwaters at Kerala, Charminar of Hyderabad, Howrah Bridge in Kolkata, Beaches of Goa, Mysore Palace in Bengaluru, Meenakshi Temple in Madurai, Coast of Vizag, Andaman Islands and Pondicherry.
And so the list goes on and on and on.............................And by the time I tell you all the places I’ve visited, It take a whole week perhaps! And you can definitely say that I am a travel lover.
I have always traveled in and out of my dear house in Shimla too!
I lived in a beautifully constructed house given to my parents by our paternal grandparents in Shimla. Our house was an ancient one built in around the 18th century when the British ruled India.
My great grand-father has been a rich landlord. He was really kind to the poor and gave free necessities to them. Many people, even now, treat me with respect if they got to know, that I was his great-granddaughter. Such was his kindness.
Getting back to our house, it was a rich place with a beautiful courtyard full of trees and majestic pillars. An amazing terrace which gives me the glimpse of the vast tea fields, lies above the house.And five huge bedrooms took most of the area. The floral design on the walls were of Persian Style inspired by the Mughal architecture.
Ours was a huge family when I was born. My mother told me that our family summed up 58 at the time of counting. I was in awe when she told me.
I spent my childhood climbing trees and swinging from them, playing hide and seek behind the pillars and running with my cousins to catch the falling mangoes and guavas.
My childhood was indeed beautiful.
interesting man!
Thanks Bruh!
First pp: Or is capitalized. Last sentence, if you’re trying to do a split second pause, it’s two “- -“ instead of the one.
Also, in book formatting, you have to follow proper book structure. Sentences cannot be left by themselves unless accompanied with inner/outer dialogue. Otherwise it’s considered a fragment and it has to be in paragraph form of 4+ sentences.
Fourth PP: You do not need all the dots as they are overkill. If you’re trying to go for a few seconds of paused dialogue, the standard way is usually “...”
All in all, what I can tell from the first chapter alone is that your word play is great. How you construct a description is done correctly, and I can see what you say when reading these words. BUT I also know the structure of your story will be prominent in the rest of your chapters.
Now, I want to make it perfectly clear that this isn’t a bashing or me being mean. Cause when people give criticism, they do get attacked. This is me trying to help a fellow author out. Especially since I read your reviews on this novel, and no one gave any sort of critical feedback to help you progress. While praise is good, it does not help you grow as a writer.
Also, I saw your book is competing in the same contest and category as me. So, if that’s the case, I want to help any sort of horror writer make their book an A+. I personally do not know how harshly they will judge us on structure, but I don’t want you to get marked down for something like that. So, I really do hope you take my words as a positive approach and not in anyway negative or demeaning to your work.