Ailm

The sharp cry of someone unheard of diluted the peace of the evening, eyes that should never have been opened squeezed shut to the harshness of newly experienced light. A brief moment of collective relief afforded by the piercing sound was cut short by the silent observation of seemingly all-knowing grey green eyes. The occupants of a sterile white room look on in hesitant curiosity at the oddity before them. For the first time a new choice would have to be made, the effects of which could change the path of things. Course corrections would have to be made and new experiences logged, something that was not considered a possibility until right this second. Many believed that there were no new experiences to be had, that every possible thing had been done and redone to the point where living had become routine, easy and all points had already been plotted. Once starched white sheets lay disheveled and discarded the choice made and like the bed could never be made quite the same way again. Wheels squeaked against cold tiled flooring and they wheeled the new family out into the world, this was the beginning of something, a change to lives seemingly set in stone.

Twenty Seven years and a couple of months later due to unfortunate circumstances, she was awoken on Friday morning at ridicules O’ clock by the obnoxious buzz of someone trying to ruin her lay in. Clearly this was absolute emergency or a telemarketer. No sane person would attempt a civil conversation before she was sufficiently caffeinated.

James yet again, mind she had always questioned his sanity. Therefore, his nonchalant interruption of sleep demanding her presence, for the latest in a series of midlife crisis, dodgy bar hopping attempts wasn’t entirely surprising. It might be time for a replacement go to friend, perhaps one with a better approach to ageing. Why he called at all was a bit of a mystery, she had always been a bit of a doormat when it came to him. Even if she had declined, he would pitch up later and talk her into it. No one is better at rationalization, truly as much as James clawed at her nerves, she appreciated him. There are certain advantages that come through relationships with damaged people, pain makes a person no matter the form.

There was no chance of falling back asleep at this point, so came the arduous chore of getting her day started. After a probably longer than was necessary self-grooming routine and way more coffee than the average person should consume. She seated herself in front of the computer and began the unfulfilling task of making money, rent is always due at the end of the month and her caffeine habit was not going to pay for itself. Editing for multiple news based online platforms wasn’t the most entertaining or satisfying profession, After-all it is a commonly known fact scandal sells, cute and cuddly is generally better suited to kitten videos on a slow day at the office. The job did however make a quick relocation easy as she could work from anywhere, not having to leave the comforts of home for gainful employment was a definite positive, still didn’t make the days shorter or any less tedious. The day moved along much faster than anticipated, most probably because she was beyond dreading her plans for the evening. Fucking unreliable internal clock, you would think a thing as important as timing would be based on something a little more constant than hormone levels. Almost as if the infuriating devise could sense her unease the phone went off indicating that it was time to head out and endure a couple hours out of her comfort zone.

She pulled on her shoes grabbed a jacket and locked the front door behind her, as expected parked on the pavement just outside her building was a black SUV probably worth more than anything she had ever owned. Sat inside the pointless gas guzzling machine was James looking slightly impatient while staring at his phone screen, the man could never understand the concept of a five story walk up. His expression brightened slightly as she opened the passenger door, “wouldn’t kill you to dress it up a bit you know Sam” she responded with an eyeroll and some comment about how being eye candy on one of his nights out wasn’t on her to do list. Easy banter flowed as they drove off, for some reason it was easy for her to be around him this was something that hadn’t occurred very often in her lifetime nor was it common for any one like her as far as she could remember, which was likely why she let so much slide.

Tonight’s choice in drinking establishment was a slightly run-down wooden building with bright neon signs advertising a pool bar and a discount motel, in other words a bit of a dive that made her feel incredibly thankful for wearing closed shoes. They exited the car James unfolding his 6”1 frame with a kind of rigid, lumbering grace, like a leopard in a neck-brace. The alarm chimed and he tossed her the keys, a sure sign that this was going to be a very long night. Entering the building she walked slightly behind him using is large bearded figure as cover for the prying eyes that lay within, sawdust crunched beneath boot covered feet some, sort of old country song played over an outdated sound system giving it a tin like quality. On approach to the bar she noted a group of overly excited underage looking girls in very sparkly outfits, sipping on some type of fruity concoction. A well-timed wink for James sent them in to complete frenzy mode. He was attractive in a way with his large frame, tattooed sleeves and slightly unkept hair. The bar tender shuffled over a weathered looking man complete with bloodshot eyes showing he indulged a little too often in his own stock, took their order and informed us that it should liven up a little later.

Once seated at an out the way table she looked at him eyebrows raised in a “well what now” kind of expression, to which he replied, “wherever the night takes us”. Pointless polite conversation ensued as he reclined back riding his chair glancing over to the sparkly group who seem to be edging slowly over to us. She had been through enough nights like this to know that he wasn’t drunk enough to engage with all of that just yet. As luck would have it people were starting to trickle in, hopefully he would find a more appealing distraction soon and she wouldn’t have to endure the drive home, listening to a back seat full of sparkly giggles. Whatever the night turned out to be she would react the same, hope for the best, stay out of the way and eventually drag his intoxicated butt home. Honestly, it was this part of her nature that was the reason he dragged her out on these excursions

Her thoughts drifted as James went over to get the second round, it was always a risk being this side of town she probably would have put up more of a fuss if she knew where they had been heading or could explain why she was nervous of it. So far, she had been incredibly lucky even with her recent bout of social excursions, she had not been noticed. She knew not going before the council when she relocated here was a risk, however it was one she was ready to take. A test to see if it would give her more time here as they were not looking, so far, her gamble had been paying off. She had been here almost three years and was for the first time in her adult life starting to relax and build an actual life. Honestly, she was beyond tired of fighting and was not entirely sure how much more her body could take, it was unheard of for someone her age. Perhaps it was due to her mixed heritage or stubborn nature, nothing like her had ever been recorded to memory so she had nothing to guide her in this situation. All she did know is that she wanted to choose her path and for this she would endure what she must.

The scraping of a chair drew her out of her thoughts, sitting across from her was one of the sparkles an over the top smile complete with red lipstick and six-inch heels. The effort to suppress her sigh was impressive, she brightened her expression slightly and said “Hi” an attempt at behaving in a similar fashion to a normal human being. The sparkle seemed encouraged by the lack of hostility and babbled on for a while about how the couple looked lonely here in their own corner. Why is it that social norms dictate that questions considered to be personal need to be asked in a completely roundabout way? The sparkle was clearly fishing for the pair’s relationship status, the only question now was to give in to her vindictive side or remain passive. She went with the second option allowing the babble to persist on the attractiveness of her bearded counterpart. Fortunately said counterpart chose this moment to make his reappearance drink in hand.

His approach to the Sparkle honestly surprised her, usually he found enjoyment from this type of attention. He took in the flirtatious pout and promptly announced that she was in his chair, the Sparkle stumbled away looking very kicked puppyish. She almost felt guilt but remembered the state of some of the previous sparkles that had found their way onto his radar, perhaps he had finally started paying attention to her” even sparkles have feelings” rants. Noticing the quizzical look, she currently sported he answered the unasked question with “just not in the mood for that amount of high-pitched energy”. She sighed internally this did not bode well for the rest of the evening.

Five drinks and some mindless conversation later the chosen venue was really starting to liven up, which was fantastic news as it would be a definite deterrent. Cheers to the growth of “Hipster authentic dive” popularity. James however did not seem to share her glee at the arrival of more sparkle type people, low grumbles of” is nothing just as it seems anymore and can I not just drink in peace” could be heard as he shuffled dejectedly off to settle the tab. Surprisingly he returned in a much better mood , announcing rather obnoxiously that we would be “on to the next rumored not hot spot “. With a couple serious doubts on departing this hipster haven she collected up her belongings, this was turning out to be a more nerve-racking outing than anticipated. Instead of walking back out toward the parking lot James grabbed at her elbow directing her to a back door, judging by the current occupants of this establishment it in all likelihood it would lead to some type of new age “secret” speak easy type deal, the wave of relief she felt at this was palpable. He happily frog marched her down a marked off gravel pathway towards a small ominous looking thatched building. Her anxiety rose exponentially upon entering, the relief felt from previous hipster related conclusions gone as she eyeballed the patrons currently occupying the bar.

“Well fuck” She audibly hissed, the need to grab the bearded moron and hightail it out of there was intense, though she knew it would be pointless, they couldn’t have not noticed her and now that they had she would more than likely no longer be able to consider this place home. She watched as a stony silence rang over the only other occupants of the room. Four sets of Grey green eyes widened; four sets of large masculine arms visibly tensed. James however was almost completely unaware of her plight and was fiddling with his beard in a content manner, while succeeding however sloppily in this attempts to drag her over to a rickety looking table, his inability to read her current panicky mood was an annoyance at best and dangerous for both of them at worst. She sat down stiffly on complete sensory alert should anyone decide now was the time to initiate something, wild and dangerous thoughts flashed through her head. Outsiders were never to be involved as this had only ever lead to incredibly painful consequences for both parties, she should know she technically was one of the more undesirable outcomes of this frowned upon practice. She needed to be subtle about getting out of there and packing up before word got out.

Time as it was, seemed to be on her side for the moment at least, no one had made a move since they arrived, come to think about it she had never experienced the connection taking this long to be acted upon. Perhaps rules had changed since her last interaction with a clan, but she doubted it, rules hadn’t been adapted much in centuries. The happily oblivious man across from her glanced around sipping on his dodgy looking beer, she glanced around trying to appear calm while contemplating her next move, the panic began to subside as she gave her thoughts over to the possible scenarios to follow, there was only one viable solution or one solution with an amount of carnage she felt was ethically acceptable. Unfortunately, this did violate certain unbreakable clan rules not that she wasn’t already beyond bending some almost to the point of shattering, this was the final bit of pressure let the shrapnel fly where it may.

Glancing over to James one last time she acted on her plan, as discreetly as possible she pushed on the thankfully already rickety table leg causing the mostly full pint to spill directly into her slightly intoxicated friends lap. A variety of admittedly creative swear words blasted from the other side of the now lopsided table, after a breath and a thought James announced that he had a change of clothing in the car. She handed over his keys and watched the last shred of her freedom lumber out into the night, she would miss him more than she cared to admit, even to herself. Cause and effect basic laws of life every action has a reaction, every decision a consequence and her consequences had finally caught up.