What is your opinion?
Great so far
"I've really enjoyed the perspective. "
Review of Chapter 1 and 2
"The narrative did a good job really getting inside Callie's mind and taking me on a smooth narrative through her thoughts. I was particularly drawn into the last three paragraphs as she thought about how the moms were reacting to her disappearance. That part in particular was a wrenching, but very clear and strong internal monologue. The only thing I would recommend for chapter 1 is to cut down some superfluousness. You're a very clear and emotional writer, you do that well, but during her monologue before the gang shows up I was starting to get lost in the amount of things going through her head (maybe that was the goal). Not much trimming, but a little may help put focus on the most important points. Though all of that is a personal opinion and I can imagine other readers really revel in internal monologues, and you write them well. I loved the second chapter from the get-go. You did a great job writing the characters and the situation they are in. The short "It had been a week" line hit me in the chest in a powerful way. There was something numb and terrifying about the introduction to the chapter that was a perfect way to bring me into their reality. I gave this a two on the plot because the plot is so embedded in the framework of the first two chapters I wasn't sure how to rate it. Very well done. I'll keep reading and reviewing as I go along."
