What is your opinion?
Soul Theory
"A very interesting story and well written Elo. Tips I received with my story was to shorten the long paragraphs. It make for easer reading. Other than that it's a golden story."
A combination of clichés... into something entirely new
"The stereotypical depiction of death: a frightening, disgusting, hooded creature. Quite similar to the depiction in the story. The depiction of an angel: a beautiful humanoid being with wings. Just like the story (at least how I imagine it). A story about a girl meeting a guy and gradually falling for him... the entire story should've been a dumpster fire of clichés... right? No. The story, although SHOULD be riddled with clichés, is not, thanks to the internal conflict and the first-person POV that the author presents. When we see the mind of the protagonist (quite vividly as well), we sympathize with her and try to cheer her on. The fact that she was "forced" to be a Grim Reaper of sorts while still retaining her human consciousness is also very refreshing. The character of Mochta is also very well-written, being kind of like the "ray of hope" for Shina. The plot at first was a bit confusing (since it's from first-person), but it slowly was woven into something very intricate and beautiful, raising many questions after every chapter. Altogether, I look forward to each new chapter, and the surprisingly amazing combination of what should've been clichés."
A great start!
"I really enjoyed the plot and the characters! They could have been cliché but you manage to write them like new. The story feels well-paced, though it is hard to tell since it is an on going project. But you have written a solid start, and it will be interesting to see where it goes from here. I hope you update the story soon!"
Soul Theory
"Your story is full of promise. The plot is extremely unique, and very interesting. It's intriguing me to find out what happens with Shina and what Death really has planned for her. Her friendship with Machta seems so wholesome so far, and I do hope nothing breaks up their friendship. Now, there is quite a bit of punctuation and grammatical errors plus sentence structure errors. It's to be expected in a first draft. Drafts aren't meant to be perfect. An ellipse is three dots usually appearing like '...' Or '. . .' not two dots. It's three. But with an ellipse, they are used to show breaks in dialogue or narrative, and also shouldn't be used very often. Also, if you want to show a break or pause or drifting of speech when concerning a question at the end, just put the question mark without trying an ellipse before it. That's something I've learned. Also, if you're trying to emphasize something, it also works putting it in its own paragraph. That puts extra emphasis, showing the reader that it must be important because it's by itself. But also there are other ways to show trailing of speech or other things like that by putting emphasis on other words by italicing them. Also, an exclamation mark is another tool to be used sparingly. Let your words do the talking for you, and add action, description and dialogue tags to help emphasize it. In a dialogue, from what I've learned, it's recommended to use one exclamation mark if your dialogue requires it like a shouting match or somethibg along those lines. Also, there are some missing commas and some of the ways a few of your sentences were structured created some confusion in your meaning. There were quite a few run on sentences and paragraphs improperly broken up. A good tool is Grammarly, there is a free package and it from what I heard from others is very helpful. Another tip is to contact an editor to help you through the editing process. Also, try to show more than tell. There are very good sections of showing rather than telling, a nod to your talent as an author. Don't tell us she is mad, show us through her actions and emotions. First person narrative is a good tool to show your MCs emotions and growth throughout. Another thing, when your MC is thinking, break it off through italics or something like that because it got confusing at times. This is a first draft, and a good one at that. Full of promise. Drafts aren't going to be perfect, and that is okay. The only place you can go from here is up, and you've got a good story ready to go up. Your plot and characters are compelling and unique. Also, the cover reminds me some of an anime style, and the way you've described Death is amazing. I can so see this as being an anime or even a movie one day. Can't wait to read more. Sorry for writing a book for the review but I do hope it helps any. You've got talent. Keep up the good work! Keep writing!"
Exciting
"It is really refreshing to see a story written from this perspective. I enjoyed the action however wish that it was a little more broken up into paragraphs to make it easier for the reader to understand. The plot is both dramatic and action-packed and deserves the reader's full attention. Overall, it was pretty good, a little hard to follow everything but I'm sure it will clear up as the story unfolds. Great use of suspense. The narrative is unique and done well. Keep writing!"
