What is your opinion?
Great Story!
"The Good Stuff: The way you kept me guessing at what was happening and what would happen next was very good. I would have a prediction and then suddenly something I read would make me realize I wasn't correct in that prediction. There were so many points in the story when I just didn't know what would happen next. This wasn't because there wasn't enough information, but rather that I knew I would need new information, which is an aspect I really appreciated. I also liked the first person point of view; it really brought the story to life. (or is that death?) Things That Need to Be Improved: There were some issues with the dialogue in the second half that made the story difficult to follow. I had to reread several sections to keep up with who was speaking. That can easily be remedied with proper paragraphing. There were also some punctuation issues that had me rereading (mostly commas and/or semicolons), but they were minor and can also be easily fixed with proper editing. Nice work! I really did enjoy it overall!"
Fantastic
"Hi there! This was amazing. I loved the detail and the sentences you chose were specific and to the point; everything just worked for your description and dialogue. My one criticism would be that you didn't give enough spacing towards the end of the entry. It got a bit confusing when there wasn't a distinction between the speakers or from the speakers and the description and happenings around that dialogue. Keep it up and I can't wait to read more (if you have other stories, that is)!! :)"
